Transcript: Episode 7 Shootout at the Space Rock Corral
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Tabletop Squadron Transcript
Season 1 Episode 7: “Shootout At The Space Rock Corral”
Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)
Note – Laura’s character Xianna’fan speaks in an accent. Most of her soft I’s sound like “ee,” and most of her TH’s sound like Z’s. Example: “this and that” = “zees and zat”
## Intro
NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your Game Master. Every other Thursday our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, a fringer, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy, helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.
We return this week to our regularly scheduled programming. Thanks for sticking with us during our Jedi Adventures.
I have a big announcement. We are looking for some constructive feedback, and have made a short two minute survey. There’s a link in the notes for the episode and on our Twitter. If you’ve listened to the show, which you are, swing by and let us know how we’re doing. This is your chance to shape the media you listen to, and everything’s anonymous, so no pressure.
I want to thank HungryMan174 for their iTunes review. You are a shining star against the dark tyranny of us… not having enough iTunes reviews. Remember everyone, if you get to 20 iTunes reviews we’ll be releasing a flashback starring Karma and her twin boys. It was a blast to record and we want to share it, so tell your friends to review the show.
Thanks for tuning in, and I hope you enjoy.
##
NICK: Hello everybody, and welcome to Episode 7 of Tabletop Squadron. Welcome back. We’ve been doing this for quite a while now. We’re gonna go around the table, and everybody introduce yourselves and say who you are playing, starting with Steven.
STEVEN: Hi, I’m Steven.
NICK: Hi Steven.
STEVEN: Hi Nick. I’m playing—
NICK: How are you?
STEVEN: … Now I’m super confused. I am both playing Sabos good doing well who’s a Togruta pretty well and I haven’t spent any experience. I’m okay.
(laughter)
NICK: Great. Cool. (laughing) And next up, we have Hudson.
HUDSON: Hi Nick. I’m Hudson, and I’m playing a Gigoran named Tink.
NICK: Good for you.
HUDSON: Good for me.
NICK: We’re all very proud.
HUDSON: Thank you.
NICK: And, Cameron.
CAMERON: Hello.
NICK: Hi!
CAMERON: I’m Cameron.
NICK: Good to meet you.
CAMERON: (laughs) Right. I’m playing Karma, the Nautolan bounty hunter.
NICK: Yay.
LAURA: Have you two not met before?
CAMERON: No.
NICK: This is the first time. The previous episodes was a different name.
LAURA: Wow, that wedding must have been really awkward.
CAMERON: Yeah, it was an arranged marriage. I regret it.
STEVEN: Nick, meet my friend Cameron.
NICK: Oh, hi. Good to see you.
CAMERON: I’m new here. I just came with Steven.
NICK: Oh boy. I’m gonna have to delete all of this.
(laughter)
NICK: Last up, we have Laura.
LAURA: Hi, I’m Laura, and I play Xianna’fan, a Twi’lek smuggler.
NICK: Horray. Good job being professional and getting through it without getting distra—
LAURA: Dicks!
(laughter)
NICK: Great. Off to a great start.
LAURA: Leave, that, in.
NICK: It’s gonna be in.
STEVEN: That’s what she said—Ohh.
(groans)
LAURA: Don’t leave that in.
HUDSON: Leave that one in too.
LAURA: That’s also what she said. All of it.
CAMERON: Who are you, Nick?
NICK: Oh, I’m Nick. I’m the GM. I do everybody else.
STEVEN: Have you met Cameron?
NICK: Oh, hey Cameron, good to meet you.
CAMERON: (giggling) Hi! It’s nice to meet you. Weird, we have the same last name.
NICK: Oh yeah.
STEVEN: That’s awkward.
NICK: Okay. Well, we have now established that we are all friends who know each other, so now we can get started in Star Wars. And, by getting started in Star Wars, of course I mean the Destiny Roll.
STEVEN: Ah yes, destiny.
NICK: Ah-ha. A great RPG shooter.
CAMERON: Heyyy.
LAURA: Two light side points! Ha-ha.
STEVEN: Two dark side.
HUDSON: Two dark side points from me.
CAMERON: Get your shit together.
HUDSON: I’m sorry!
STEVEN: Ooh, another light side point.
CAMERON: One dark side.
HUDSON: And, so it’s even.
STEVEN: Yep, three light side, three dark side.
STEVEN: Better than last game.
LAURA: Yes.
CAMERON: Yes, much better than last.
NICK: We are neutral, which is appropriate for where we’re starting.
If you remember, when we last left off you finally got off of Unroola Dawn after killing some Imperial officers, learning some interesting facts about Xianna’s criminal past and Sabos’s also criminal past.
STEVEN: Just inept.
NICK: Inept past, we’ll go with that. You made a decision to smuggle more than just the things you originally had come to procure, and you got off of the planet. That’s where we’re gonna start this time. You’ll remember that you got a notification that there was somebody in the holo-theater. There was a transmission coming in, and you all went to the holo-theater, and you saw a sentinel sitting down. A hologram of sentinel, not real sentinel, that would be weird. He says, “Alright, so you managed to make the deal. Now it seems like we’ve got a lot to talk about.” Then, we’re gonna kick it off.
Sentinel starts off without preamble. He makes eye contact with all of you which is impressive because you’re spread out pretty far. He is sitting down, wearing a brown kind of shapeless robe. He has salt and pepper hair slicked back. He looks older, he looks very much in control, and he says, “You are going to deliver this artifact to the Oracle of the Ithorians on Ithor. You will be able to contact them when you get on the surface. Tell them you have a gift from an old friend, and that the friend assures him the light will never go out from the universe. The Oracle’s inner circle will know what that means, but you’ll need to get to them to explain. However, that’s the easy part. Ithor is under an Imperial blockade, a large one. The flagship for the armada is a super star destroyer, the Vengeance. You will need to find some way to get to the surface past the blockade. You’re gonna need stealth or some form of trickery. I’ll leave that solution up to you. Once down on the planet, deliver the Stone Breaker to the Oracle and find the shop called The Gooberfish nearby. There will be a contact there. Use the same passphrase. He will give you instructions on the last leg of the mission. After that, you will be paid, with potentially more contracts afterwards. Any questions?”
LAURA: “Um, is there a timeframe for this delivery?”
NICK: “Every minute that you delay more Ithors are squashed under the Imperial boot, so immediately.
LAURA: “Oh, so more like an existential timeframe, not like it will expire or anything like that. Not saying that we are not going to be quick and professional with our delivery, just you know, in case we have to make any pit stops along the way.”
NICK: “You will need to make a pit stop if you’re picking up any technology to skip past the blockade.”
STEVEN: “Yes.”
NICK: “Besides that you should be headed there right away. We don’t know how much longer this blockade will last until they do ground infiltration. Any minute you delay is an extreme risk.”
LAURA: “Yeah… Okay.” What was the passphrase again?
CAMERON: The light will never go out in the universe.
It’s the what oracle?
NICK: His title is The Oracle, yeah, on Ithor.
HUDSON: I’m going to whisper, “But wait, aren’t we supposed to do that other job first?”
STEVEN: “No.”
NICK: Roll me a Force die please.
CAMERON & TINK: Two light side.
NICK: Yeah. You were very subtle. Everyone in the room hears, and the holo-projector does not pick that up.
LAURA: Xianna gives him like a little jab in the side. It’s probably like more your hip because of height, but just like a, “Shh.”
HUDSON: “Ow.”
(laughter)
LAURA: And just keeps looking at him like, “Uh-huh, yes. A speedy delivery. Uh-huh. Got it.”
NICK: “Any other questions?”
CAMERON: “So, we’re delivering the Stone Breaker to the Oracle…”
NICK: “Yes.”
CAMERON: “Ithorian lives may be lost…”
NICK: “Many.”
LAURA: “I mean, in a general sense, there is a blockade.”
CAMERON: “Like, it normally happens with Imperial blockades.”
LAURA: “Many planets are under Imperial blockade. Just saying.”
NICK: “I feel like I should mention that they’re periodically bombarding communities.”
LAURA: “Really? Really?!”
CAMERON: “Oh, see, that does explain the deaths.”
LAURA: “You’re going to tell me, a Twi’lek, about periodic bombardments of a planet?”
NICK: “Clearly you may have had some experience on Ryloth of similar tactics, but if you’re planning on doing some sort of side trip I would remind you that thousands of people could be obliterated in laser fire at any moment.”
STEVEN: “Just enough to get past the blockade.”
NICK: “Enough what?”
STEVEN: “Just enough side trip to get past the blockade.”
NICK: “Yeah, that would be a good recommendation, either come up with some sort of plan to circumvent their technology, or some sort of stealth, or some sort of ruse. I don’t know. That’s why I hired you all.”
LAURA: “We’ll figure it out.”
CAMERON: “Do you have any nifty things on your ship?”
NICK: “Um, not really.”
CAMERON: “Cool. Just wondering.”
NICK: “You may find with some careful searching that there are some great places to hide things,” and he winks into the camera.
LAURA: “Uh-huh. Yes. I figured it out already.”
NICK: “Oh, well, yeah. That’s pretty much it, smugglers compartments.”
CAMERON: “Cool. Alright, just checking.”
LAURA: “Is there any more alcohol?”
NICK: “I’m surprised that that’s your prior—Actually, I’m not surprised that that’s your priority. You can restock, I suppose, but the wet bar is pretty much it.”
LAURA: “Eh, okay.”
NICK: Well, you’ll remember, you haven’t drank it all. There’s several half bottles still in there.
LAURA: No, I know, but I remember you saying there’s just kind of like weirdly basic stuff.
NICK: Well, so, it was a full bar, but a lot of it is empty and what’s left is like quarter bottles, so it was on a long party trip and didn’t get restocked before you took it off.
LAURA: Xianna kind of like holds her hand up and she’s like, “Ooh, are there any flags out for this ship? Like, do we need to get false credentials specifically for this ship?”
NICK: “The Afternoon Delight is not the original name of the ship.”
LAURA: “I mean, that does not matter, but…”
NICK: “It’s a clean identity. It’s a clean registration.”
CAMERON: “Okay.”
LAURA: “Got it.”
NICK: “So you should be fine there, although if you can find some sort of registration that would let you pass an Imperial blockade, that could be one way to do it.”
CAMERON: “Who is it registered to?”
NICK: “Shell corporations, nothing that fancy.”
CAMERON: “Okay. Just wondering, in case that comes up.”
NICK: (goofily) “Uh, it’s registered to Star Corp.”
CAMERON: “Cool. Thank you.”
NICK: “Anything else?”
CAMERON: “At The Gooberfish, do we just walk in and tell the bartender the passphrase, or is there a particular person we should be on the lookout for, or is it just walk into the bar and scream at the top of our lungs and see if anyone responds?”
NICK: “Haven’t you done covert exchanges before? You’ll know.”
LAURA: “I got this.”
CAMERON: “I’m normally dealing with law enforcement officials.”
NICK: “So you’ll know.”
STEVEN: (laughs)
LAURA: Xianna’s just kind of shaking her head. “I got this. We will be fine. Probably.”
NICK: “Something tells me that you’ll recognize the contact. I wouldn’t worry about it.”
CAMERON: “Okay.”
LAURA: “It’s always good when they say that.” (giggles)
NICK: “Absolutely. Well, if there’s no more questions…” The feed starts to get kind of staticky, and you think you maybe hear blaster fire, and it cuts out.
LAURA: Xianna’s like “Okay byeee.”
NICK: And sentinel is gone.
HUDSON: “That was weird.”
STEVEN: “This is a wonderful ship.”
NICK: As you say that, the lights dim up automatically to a comfortable level, because they had dimmed once the holo-call started.
LAURA: Nice.
STEVEN: Yesss.
LAURA: “Okay. So, we need to deliver the briefcase very quickly, so no shenanigans from any of you, and by any of you I think you two know who you are.”
HUDSON: “I get the feeling that Sabos doesn’t know the definition of shenanigans.”
CAMERON: “He seems very good at them.”
HUDSON: “Yeah, I know. He’s just blissfully unaware.”
STEVEN: “I’m just gonna fly us there.”
LAURA: “Also, can we have a, how you say, team meeting for a moment? Sabos, are you actually a politician, or are you some sort of a con artist?”
STEVEN: “What’s the difference?”
(Vocal drums crashing noises, “ba-dum-tss”)
(laughter)
LAURA: Xianna sighs. “Well, for one, a politician sticks around and actually occasionally accomplishes things and continues using the same name. A con artist hits and runs. So, you changed your name, you don’t use your real name.”
STEVEN: “Oh, definitely politician.”
LAURA: “Like, if you noticed I gave a fake name on the planet.”
STEVEN: “Oh.”
LAURA: “You do not have to keep calling me Serene anymore. that was a fake name.”
STEVEN: “Oh. Yeah, no. I’m…”
LAURA: “So you are a regular politician, just very bad?”
STEVEN: “I mean, it depends on what you mean regular. Osaron isn’t necessarily a recognized colony.”
CAMERON: (sighs) “Oh my gosh.”
LAURA: “So, where did all that money go? What did he say, a hundred thousand something credits?”
CAMERON: “A hundred thousand credits.”
STEVEN: “I mean, Osaron, my home planet, my new home planet…”
CAMERON: “Yep, we get it.”
STEVEN: “Osaron …”
CAMERON: “Uh-huh.”
LAURA: “So the credits where?”
STEVEN: “Well, it was a very underdeveloped planet that we took over, and we used the Imperial credits to—“
LAURA: “Wait wait wait, are you colonialists? Not like you are making colonies, but like you are kicking out indigenous peoples?”
STEVEN: “Oh, there were no indigenous peoples that we encountered.”
LAURA: (reluctantly) “Okay… I mean—“
STEVEN: “Yup. We never encountered any indigenous Osa—I mean… There’s no indigenous people on Osaron.”
LAURA: “Huh…”
HUDSON: “Hmm…”
LAURA: “Okay then.”
CAMERON: “Is there really?” (laughs)
STEVEN: Everything’s fine.
NICK: I feel like this calls for a Deception check.
LAURA, CAMERON & HUDSON: Yeaaah.
STEVEN: Sure.
LAURA: What’s Xianna’s Perception?
STEVEN: I have wonderful Deception.
LAURA: My Perception, that would be three purple, one red.
NICK: What’s Karma’s Perception?
CAMERON: I’ve got a red and two purple.
NICK: Tink, are you paying attention to their conversation at all?
HUDSON: Yeah, I’m just kind of sighing.
CAMERON: How many Perception do you have?
NICK: Okay. What’s your Perception score?
HUDSON: Oh, Perception would be two.
STEVEN: Perfect. Yeah, this is fine.
CAMERON: So four total, two red, two purple.
NICK: Yeah, because you’re lying to all of them.
STEVEN: Sure. Yeah, that’s cool.
NICK: Two red, two purple.
STEVEN: That’s cool.
LAURA: Okay yeah, because his cunning is only a two.
NICK: You can flip a dark side point to upgrade Sabos’s roll.
STEVEN: Yeah.
NICK: Getting a little loose with the rules.
EVERYONE: Ooooh.
STEVEN: Not much going.
CAMERON: Two failures, a threat, and a despair.
HUDSON: We are about to throw you out of the ship.
(laughter)
CAMERON: We found a hole we can use!
LAURA: Yeah.
NICK: Oh yeah. It’s pretty skinny. Eh, whatever.
CAMERON: One head tail at a time.
LAURA: I mean, yeah. One body part goes down, and yeah.
NICK: I think you’ve just found the subtitle for the show.
LAURA & CAMERON: One head tail at a time.
NICK: Tabletop Squadron: One Head Tail At A Time.
Okay, so the way this is gonna play out with the failures and the despair especially, everyone stares at you looking extremely nonplused, and you get real nervous, and you’re gonna say exactly what happened on Osaron here.
STEVEN: Oh, sure. “You see, we Togrutas that had to leave Shili for absolutely no reason at all had nothing to do with, you know, not being contributing members of—never mind—for absolutely no reason at all had to find a new place to live, and you know, we were just astrogating through the galaxy as one might say, and we came upon this.. well, this planet that was clear had something happen to it. So, we decided to investigate and land there, and yeah, sure enough the Empire just finished like, you know, Impericalling the planet. There was a couple left, and you know we ran the couple of Storm Troopers that were still left out, and just settled here. And uh, you know, there might’ve been some indigenous people, you know, with the Empire. As it turns out, when you kind of squat on a planet after the Empire done, you know, Empire’d it, (laughter) they start to think you might owe them for something. But it’s a great planet now, great planet, great flora, great fauna, good place for a Togruta to raise their young.”
(laughter)
LAURA: Um… Huh.
NICK: So at this point Sabos is like streaming sweat and looking extremely nervous, and wringing his hands.
STEVEN: And my head tails.
LAURA: “Huh… I do not like you.”
STEVEN: “I mean, we needed somewhere to go.”
CAMERON: “I still don’t understand why you didn’t pay the Empire back if you’re going to be stupid enough to make deals with them.”
STEVEN: “We just didn’t have any money. It was expensive.”
CAMERON: “Well, yeah.”
LAURA: “Did you not have some sort of trade?”
STEVEN: “Like I said, it was a very underdeveloped planet.”
CAMERON: “You keep telling us that you’re an ambassador who is trying to set up trade routes.”
STEVEN: “Indeed.”
CAMERON: “If you have nothing to trade—“
STEVEN: “Correct.”
CAMERON: “—what are you doing?”
STEVEN: “Getting things to us.” (laughing) “It’s more of a one-sided trade.”
LAURA: “And you keep saying underdeveloped planet.”
STEVEN: “Indeed.”
LAURA: “I get that the planet was underdeveloped before you arrived, but Togrutans as a people have technologies, because you know you flew there in your space ships.”
STEVEN: “And we brought these technologies to the people of the planet.”
CAMERON: “There were Togrutans on the planet already?”
STEVEN: “No, that’s the people on the planet.”
LAURA: “So, how do you not have some sort of trade or manufacturing or artisan goods?”
STEVEN: “We’re not in the best graces with the other Togrutas as one might imagine.”
CAMERON: “Did you take anyone with any useful skills with you?”
STEVEN: “No.”
CAMERON: “Or did you just take the useless Togrutans?”
LAURA: “Did you even take prostitutes? They would make money. No?”
STEVEN: “Just, I mean…”
CAMERON: “Just the Togrutans like you.”
STEVEN: “Yeah, we went there for a reason.”
LAURA: “Oh, they got kicked out. They got kicked out. I got it.”
CAMERON: “Oh, okay. It makes sense. Alright, making more sense now. That’s how they thought differently than the rest of the Togrutans on the home world.”
STEVEN: (laughs)
LAURA: “What are the rest of them doing? Do they not just have jobs?”
NICK: Sabos looks real sad as you point out that he got kicked out.
STEVEN: “Eh, it was mutual. That’s entirely what happened. Yep, yep, and—yep.”
LAURA: (sighs) “Okay. We do not trust him with anything, and um…”
STEVEN: “I wasn’t the bad guy here.”
LAURA: “You do not get any fun things. If we get fun things you do not get them. Agreed?”
CAMERON: “Agreed.”
STEVEN: “I wasn’t the bad guy, just… We went to Osaron because that’s close and we needed somewhere to go…”
CAMERON: “Mm-hmm.”
STEVEN: “And we just decided to exploit—I mean, to develop the planet.”
LAURA: (hushed) “Tink. Tink. You just have to say you agree. Say you agree. Just say agree.”
HUDSON: “I… I agree.”
LAURA: “Okay. We are agreed. Sabos does not get fun things if we find things.”
STEVEN: “I’m with you, Tink. I’m with you.”
HUDSON: “You get no fun things.”
STEVEN: I rub my head tail against Tink as we leave.
CAMERON: Oh god.
LAURA: Eww.
HUDSON: I push you harder against the wall.
NICK: Okay. So you all leave the holo-theater. What is your destination?
STEVEN: The coordinates on the box.
CAMERON: The coordinates on the briefcase, right?
LAURA: Yes. Well, the data pad was given to use with coordinates that were handed to…
CAMERON: Sabos.
STEVEN: Yup.
LAURA: So he has those to punch in, and then I guess the plan is fly to those coordinates and try to accomplish what we were set to do: hand off this briefcase.
NICK: Okay. Cool. Sabos, I’m assuming you’re the one with the coordinates, so make me an Astrogation check please.
STEVEN: Sure. How hard is it?
NICK: Hard.
CAMERON: Can I help? Since I’m in the…
NICK: Yeah, you can help.
LAURA: I mean, Tink can also help.
HUDSON: I can help with Astrogation.
CAMERON: Yeah. Do you wanna come up and be our navigator?
HUDSON: I can’t- I don’t-
LAURA: You don’t have a rank in it—
CAMERON: But you’re super smart.
LAURA: But you’re intelligent.
HUDSON: I’m very intelligent, so I can help, yes.
CAMERON: Yeah. Come hang out with us.
NICK: You can use your Intelligence score and his Astrogation training.
CAMERON: So that’s how that works.
LAURA: That means it would be your four for Intelligence but his two.
NICK: Okay. Well, roll first. Let’s see what happens.
STEVEN: That’s a lot of successes.
CAMERON: Three successes and a threat.
NICK: Nice. What does this scene look like as Tink who doesn’t know how to astrogate is smarter than you and helps you astrogate?
CAMERON: He knows how the computer works. (laughs)
STEVEN: “Yeah, yeah. See, this data pad thing, like I said I got kicked off Shili. We don’t really have data pads.”
LAURA: I bet he’s like putting the coordinates into the wrong—Like, he’s putting the X axis coordinate into the Y.
CAMERON: We saw him last time trying to turn on the ship and just doing everything. He has no clue… He knows how to figure out the route we need to take, but he doesn’t know how to put that into the computer at all. (laughing) But Tink understands.
HUDSON: “Click the square. No, the square. No, the square. Sabos, Sabos no, Sabos, do you know what a square is?” (groans)
STEVEN: “I astrogate by maps and stars. All this new technology…”
HUDSON: “You do not use any kind of manual—No, you don’t. Just type it in.”
CAMERON: “Is this why you were looking for landmarks last time?”
STEVEN: “Yeah. Trees.”
CAMERON: “You weren’t going into hyperspace the last times you were flying things?”
STEVEN: “Trees are the best landmarks.”
CAMERON: “You were just manually flying those long distances?”
STEVEN: (incredulously) “You can hyperspace… just, time.”
(laughter)
NICK: So, the scene is Karma in the co-pilot seat, Sabos in the pilot seat, and after a minute he switches and Tink sits down, and Sabos starts leading off calculations and Tink does data entry. It works super well. You guys are very successful, and it actually is bringing you somewhere that is not on the galactic map at all. It is a place, but there’s nothing there as far as the map is concerned.”
LAURA: We were told-
LAURA & CAMERON: It was an asteroid belt.
NICK: Yeah, but it’s not on the maps. According to this it’s empty space.
LAURA: So, Xianna would probably be familiar with asteroid ports, like shadow ports that are sometimes built into asteroids or just floating stations, so she assumes it’s something like that.
NICK: Mm-hmm. So, you put it in. It looks like it’ll probably take about six hours to get there. It is in the exact wrong direction to Ithor…
CAMERON: Yeah.
STEVEN: Awesome.
NICK: So, it will take longer to get there. Something potentially bad could happen while you’re driving the wrong direction, and by driving I mean flying, of course. Something bad could happen while you’re flying the wrong direction, but that’s your chosen route. You punch it in, hit the lever, the stars turn into lines, and off we go. You guys have six hours in hyperspace. Is there anything you’re gonna do with that time?
LAURA: While the rest of them were arguing Xianna was already rifling through ay cabinet she could find, especially in—I’m assuming there’s like a dining area.
NICK: Mm-hmm.
LAURA: She’s just going through and looking in everything trying to figure out what there is.
NICK: Okay, so you want a full inventory of what’s on the ship?
LAURA: Pretty much. Also, if she finds any like fun little snack cakes she’s gonna eat those while looking around, (laughter) because thinking about it I don’t think we’ve eaten in a while.
CAMERON: We had dinner at the manor.
STEVEN: We had monkey.
LAURA: Yeah, so we have eaten dinner the previous day.
CAMERON: Yeah. (laughs)
LAURA: Yeah, so Xianna’s just gonna take the space equivalent of a zebra cake and just start eating it while looking through stuff.
NICK: Okay.
STEVEN: “Also, if anyone’s familiar with asteroid stuff we should figure out if there’s cloaking devices in the…”
LAURA: I mean, are you talking like the physics of an asteroid belt, or are you asking about like underworld things?
STEVEN: No, the tradings. Yes, the dealings which might go on.
LAURA: So, someone who might have-
LAURA & CAMERON: Underworld. (laughs)
STEVEN: Indeed.
LAURA: Yes. Some of us have that Knowledge skill.
HUDSON: I have that Knowledge.
NICK: Okay, a couple of checks. I need either a Perception or a Skullduggery check from Xianna for searching the ship, and then if someone wants to do Underworld Knowledge about cloaking devices.
LAURA: What was the difficulty?
NICK: Let’s do average.
HUDSON: And what’s my difficulty? I’m doing the Underworld check.
NICK: Yours is gonna be hard.
LAURA: Nice. Five successes.
NICK: What do you want to find on this ship? What were you hoping to find?
CAMERON: Well, obviously zebra cakes.
NICK: Yeah, so you find a case of space zebra cakes.
LAURA: Oh, but they have to have a fun name. But yeah, I just wanna make sure we have lots of food.
NICK: Bantha cakes?
CAMERON: That doesn’t sound cute.
LAURA: No, they’re like blue…
NICK: Porg cakes?
(groans)
STEVEN: Just porg filets.
LAURA: No, no, I want a bantha cake. It is like a very round shape, but it’s blue, and it’s called that because it’s made with bantha milk. So, it’d be the equivalent of a milk cake or something.
NICK: Yeah, so you find a whole case of those. It seems to be the one thing that wasn’t touched from all the supplies before you guys found the ship.
LAURA: Xianna also wants to find some mixers for the alcohol. There’s a fridge. And…
NICK: Okay. So the dining area is pretty big, and it’s actually separate from the kitchen area. The separate kitchen is designed for there to be staff on there, and the kitchen area is very well done. You could pretty much make whatever you want. There’s a decent amount of supplies, but it’s all very spotty, so there are some juices and things but it’s all the weird juice that you wouldn’t normally pick. It’s like, Dr. Skipper soda and things like that are left.
LAURA: Yeah. Off brands.
NICK: Mm-hmm, because most of it is already used.
LAURA: And then, with six hours, she also wants to look in any of the hallways or closets, and can there be some extra random clothes, and like makeup that’s been left behind? Just random little odds and end bits.
NICK: I’ll say with five successes on your check that throughout the ship you find basically the equivalent of one and a half costume changes for everybody.
LAURA: Cool.
NICK: So, not necessarily a full disguise, you could probably put a disguise on someone, but if you just wanted a different look for a different situation, there’s one and a half of those for each of you on the ship.
LAURA: Cool.
HUDSON: Okay.
NICK: So like, a different top hat for Tink, I guess. So that’s what you find. Tink, if you wanna make that Underworld check about cloaking devices and junk.
LAURA: Can I help with that?
HUDSON: I would love help with that. I’m upgraded.
NICK: So, since Xianna’s helping you, then you have… You’re following her around thinking out loud and she’s kinda helping you brainstorm why she’s up to her waist in cabinets.
LAURA: Okay, so then… Oh no.
HUDSON: This is, uh…
STEVEN: Not good.
HUDSON: So that gets cancelled out, right?
STEVEN: Yeah, that cancels, so that’s a…
HUDSON: That’s a failure and an advantage.
NICK: Okay. So, failure, you don’t know necessarily anyone who sells it. You do know that you can buy those things. Generally they’re illegal, because they’re military grade.
HUDSON: Have I checked the ship for this? Do we already have it?
STEVEN: I think we asked.
CAMERON: We asked if he had any cool things on his ship and he said no. he said we probably wanted to look into it, so probably not.
HUDSON: Oh, okay.
NICK: Yeah, the ship doesn’t really have anything like that.
CAMERON: And you know everything about the ship at this point.
NICK: Yeah, because you \won\ very early on. You are very familiar with the ship. You know that cloaking devices are illegal, because they are military grade technology. They’re very, very expensive and they’re hard to get. There are other things like jammers for scanners and things that you could use to get you a head start heading to a planet, but that’s about all you know. You’re not really sure where you would get one except for somewhere sketch. Xianna is helping you out the same way, and that’s about what you learn, because she’s more interested in searching so she’s not that helpful. She’s mostly wondering why you’re following her around.
LAURA: You probably get a few things thrown on you. Like, as I’m pulling things out, I’m just tossing stuff behind me, so a random scarf just falls over you.
HUDSON: Comically getting doused in random items.
CAMERON: Random costume changes.
LAURA: Oh yeah, like imagine how this scene would play out in a sitcom, and that’s what’s happening. So just like random things, every so often you just get like, you probably come away from the situation and you’re like wearing a bunch of clothes and have blush on your face now, splotches of fur are pink now.
CAMERON: Bright blue eye shadow.
HUDSON: Mm-hmm.
LAURA: But it’s not on his eyes, it’s just like on him in splotches as if I threw it and it just kind of like hit him and then fell down.
NICK: Dibs on a clown makeup face being on his chest.
HUDSON: Mm-hmm.
STEVEN: Two top hats.
LAURA: I mean, if you squint it kind of looks like a clown, maybe.
CAMERON: After we jump to hyperspace Karma leaves the cockpit and goes and takes a shower, because she’s kind of bloody and gross.
NICK: Yeah. There are several sanisteams in the ship. Everyone’s quarters have their own because this is a super nice ship.
CAMERON: Marvelous.
NICK: Yeah. You’re able to peel off your armor, get clean, you soak in a lot of the water because you’re aquatic.
CAMERON: It feels great.
NICK: The bacta’s doing a really good job of getting rid of any cuts and things. It won’t scar. You’re still pretty tender, the stitching will fall out eventually, but you’re also able to after you’re all clean you’re able to check through your armor and there’s no permanent damage on that either, so you’re able to repair that as well.
CAMERON: Nice.
LAURA: Very important question. Are there any hot tubs or Jacuzzis on this ship?
NICK: Oh, there absolutely is.
LAURA: Okay. That is how Xianna is gonna take a bath. She gets herself a nice drink and goes and sits in the Jacuzzi.
NICK: So the Jacuzzi is actually in the center of the ship, so…
LAURA: Oh, that’s fine.
NICK: Well, so there’s like, the living quarters are on one of the big storage containers, there’s another storage container that’s mostly for shipping, and then the middle spine of the ship has most of the important stuff like the cockpit and the engines and things like that. In the middle of that where you come up the ramp onto the ship there’s a big, round open entry way that has a centerpiece, it’s like a big, round pedestal, and there’s decorations on it, and there’s a hollow of a fountain. When you’re digging through the ship you find a little panel on the side and you start messing with it, and the top slides off, and there’s a large ten person Jacuzzi in the middle of the ship.
LAURA: Yes. Haha.
NICK: So, do you just like skinny dip in the Jacuzzi?
LAURA: So, Xianna probably goes back to her room, or like makes a drink, leaves it on the bar, goes to her room, takes off her clothes, and just like takes a tiny little towel and holds it around her, and that’s how she walks back through the ship, picks her drink up, and then goes to the hot tub and then just like gets in and skinny dips, but does leave the towel folded really nicely to the side.
NICK: Do you do like an origami towel fold or just really neat and square?
LAURA: It looks like a little loft cat.
NICK: Okay. Great.
LAURA: You do have to be told it’s supposed to be a loft cat.
(laughter)
NICK: Yeah.
LAURA: It’s one of those towel folds where you’re like, uh, it’s some sort of animal, but I don’t remember what. Hmm.
CAMERON: I can tell you were folding something.
NICK: Okay. You’re chilling out in the ship. You spend a couple hours drinking and hot tubbing it out.
LAURA: I mean, I let everyone else know that there’s a hot tub. Like, as I’m walking through holding my tiny, little towel around me, I’m just like, “Oh, there is a hot tub by the way. I am going in it.”
HUDSON: Is there a shower that fits me?
NICK: Yes.
HUDSON: Okay.
NICK: The showers go very high up, and the shower heads—the sanisteams, have a whole bunch of jets that just shoot out all at once. So, yeah, you can comfortably take a shower if you wish.
HUDSON: So, I take a hot sanisteam, and I sing in the shower, because that’s what I do.
NICK: Great.
STEVEN: I feel like you’re saying Santa steam.
CAMERON: Do you have your translator on when you take a shower or do you take the translator off?
HUDSON: Yes.
LAURA: No, I imagine you would take it off.
HUDSON: Really?
CAMERON: And just sing in Gigoran.
LAURA: Yeah, you’re just singing in Gigoran, which…
HUDSON: Okay, that makes more sense. Let’s do that.
CAMERON: Because you don’t want it to get wet.
HUDSON: True.
CAMERON: I’m sure it’s waterproof, for the future.
LAURA: Which we haven’t ever heard Gigoran in any sort of official canon stuff.
NICK: Ooh, what if it’s just a weird airy whistle or something?
LAURA: No, I have to imagine it’s more it’s similar to a Wookiee of just like weird growls and snarls but you can’t tell.
NICK: What’s a Gigoran mouth look like?
LAURA: Um…
NICK: What if it’s a proboscis.
CAMERON: (laughs)
HUDSON: It just sounds like a Binks with a cold.
(groans)
STEVEN: No…
LAURA: Yeah, there’s no new canon images of Gigorans without them from my knowledge.
NICK: Well, if you wanna sing with your mask on that makes it easier. We don’t have to guess. It’s waterproof, like you can swim in it.
HUDSON: I sing with my mask on.
NICK: Okay. What is your song that you like to sing in the shower?
HUDSON: The song of my people.
(laughter)
NICK: I walked into that one, I guess. Alright. You’re in the sanisteam taking a steam and singing. Karma is cleansing.
CAMERON: Yeah, so I shower and then like put my armor pants back on and like have a black tank top, and go and sit in one of the living areas and start fixing my armor before I put it back on.
NICK: Okay. Are you in the main area with the hot tub fixing things?
CAMERON: Yeah. I’m also cleaning all my guns, very in depth.
NICK: There’s a side table with a nice flower display and a big vase, and you set the base aside and slide it off, and it makes a pretty good work bench.
CAMERON: Yeah. I’m cleaning and shining my new vibro-sword, cleaning my blaster carbine, cleaning my vibro-knife, cleaning my heavy pistol, and cleaning my light blaster.
NICK: Great, you’re armed well.
CAMERON: I just dump all of it on the table.
NICK: And then Sabos, what are you doing?
STEVEN: I’m in the cockpit, and I’m flipping the switches on that she turned off before.
LAURA: Oh god.
NICK: For six hours?
STEVEN: Yes.
NICK: Okay, so…
CAMERON: He keeps finding new ones. (laughs)
STEVEN: Yeah, like I’m running out of switches and it’s kind of bugging me.
NICK: There’s one point, Xianna, while you’re taking your hot tub that the lid starts to slide back on.
(laughter)
LAURA: Xianna starts turning around, and like it’s starting to close, and she’s like, “No! No no no! Go flip the switch! No, put it back! Put the switch back!”
NICK: Karma probably runs over and flips it down on the base so it goes back.
CAMERON: I’m gonna throw my dagger at it so the hilt of it hit sit and flips it back on.
NICK: Wow, cool, okay.
CAMERON: Then I have to get up and go get my dagger, but I looked really cool.
LAURA: As she does that, Xianna’s like crawled out of the hot tub, like splayed out, and then she kind of pushes her empty glass. “If you are going to go that way, can you make me a new drink please? Thank you.”
CAMERON: (laughs)
NICK: Do you make her a drink?
CAMERON: Yeah!
NICK: Okay. So, Tink, at some point when you’re hanging out in your room doing stuff all the lights turn off, then they turn on, then your bunk beds turn into one big side-by-side bed then go back.
CAMERON: The shower gets really cold for a second.
HUDSON: “Who’s messing with me?”
NICK: (laughs)
HUDSON: “Sabos, if that’s you I’m gonna kick your ass!”
STEVEN: “Nothing’s happened.”
LAURA: Yeah, Xianna yells out, “Yes, Sabos is flipping all the switches in the cockpit!”
HUDSON: “Stop flipping switches, Sabos!”
LAURA: “He almost trapped me in the hot tub!”
NICK: The first switch Sabos flipped was the seal door into the cockpit, and the second switch he flipped was the com system, so he’s just back there like dum da-dum dum dum, and you’re all yelling at him, and he has no idea. Karma, from where you’re sitting you can see down the hallway into the main living quarters and a disco ball flips on, and you hear like Barry White singing and then it flips back off, and like another one a bunch of colored lights are flashing and then they flip back off.
CAMERON: Why are all these controls in the cockpit?
NICK: It just has a lot of switches.
STEVEN: It’s a fancy ship.
NICK: So, that all happens. Then after a while with these fun hijinks you come out of hyperspace and you are in a very small asteroid belt. It’s a lot of car sized asteroids that look like potatoes or shoes, a lot of zucchini looking asteroids, and there’s one bigger one that the rest seem to be orbiting around… Zucchini, yes.
CAMERON: Huh.
NICK: Yes. (laughs)
LAURA: Uh-huh…
CAMERON: Right. It’s a zucchini, sure.
NICK: Yeah, it is.
LAURA: Is it cucumber shaped?
STEVEN: Eggplant?
NICK: Nope, zucchini, it has the little pointy end.
CAMERON: Uh-huh…
LAURA: Ohh, okay…
NICK: Oh, this is getting worse.
LAURA: What zucchini are you looking at?
STEVEN: You know, zucchini.
CAMERON: It’s like, yeah, when it has the stem still on it.
LAURA: Oh! That’s what he means.
CAMERON: That’s what he means, yeah.
NICK: I’m glad you know what I’m trying to say.
CAMERON: Yeah, I got you. It’s okay.
LAURA: I was imagining…
CAMERON: (laughs) Yep. Nope.
NICK: All these smaller asteroids are orbiting around one larger asteroid that’s probably 500 meters across, and as it slowly rotates you see a port carved into it. It’s like most Star Wars entry things. It’s flat on the bottom, kind of semi-circly on top, and you see the slight shimmer of a ray shield in front of it, and it looks like a landing pad there.
STEVEN: I bring her in.
NICK: Alright. Make me a Piloting check on how smoothly you land.
STEVEN: Sure.
HUDSON: No trees this time.
STEVEN: This is gonna be fine guys.
CAMERON: I’m helping.
STEVEN: How hard is it?
NICK: Average, because you do have to lop through the asteroids, but they’re pretty slow.
CAMERON: Gah.
STEVEN: Well that worked out. Nothing happened at all.
CAMERON: Two advantages.
STEVEN: Yeah, two advantages.
NICK: Okay. With two advantages, you come straight in, you have to juke to the left at the last second. Karma grabs her piloting controls and does something that makes the ship kind of flip sideways, and you come in to land, and you land pretty hard and ungracefully. There’s a loud crunch. You’re not sure what part of the ship must have buckled a little, but you’re able to land, and through the front view port you see what looks like an oil drum fire and some fold up camping chairs that have some indistinct figures sitting on them, and as you land they immediately stand up and start to look suspicious. And you see that they are armed.
CAMERON: Cool.
STEVEN: Perfect.
CAMERON: I get out of the cockpit. I take my headband off, because then I’m just a Nautolan. Removing the distinguishable features from me.
HUDSON: Xianna should be out of the hot tub.
LAURA: Oh, yeah.
(laughter)
LAURA: Xianna got too pruney a while back. It was what, six hours? Yeah, I imagine she spent a while in there, and that would be like three hours. So, she probably went and took an actual sanisteam, dressed, maybe took a little bit of a nap, stuffed her pockets with bantha cakes.
NICK: Yeah, you guys have all had time.
LAURA: Oh yeah. I do have bantha cakes in my pockets now.
NICK: Okay. You can put them in your inventory if you want.
LAURA: Oh, it’s in there. I have four bantha cakes. I’m only taking four.
NICK: Roger that.
HUDSON: I have a light blaster.
CAMERON: Not yet.
HUDSON: Oh. Not yet?
CAMERON: Yeah.
HUDSON: Oh.
NICK: Okay. The ship lands. You are all aware that it’s landed.
CAMERON: So, I get up out of the cockpit, take my headband off, walk down to the main area where Tink is, and I pass him the light blaster I took off of Spark Duelson’s body. “Why don’t you hold onto this?”
HUDSON: (light gasp) “Thank you.” I take it.
CAMERON: “Do you know how it works?”
HUDSON: “Uh…”
CAMERON: (laughs)
HUDSON: “I’ll learn.”
CAMERON: “Cool. Great. Pull this trigger. Point this end at the person you want to shoot.”
HUDSON: “Oh, I know that much.”
CAMERON: “Well, okay. I didn’t know how basic we needed to get.”
NICK: So, you have a very obviously Imperial issue side arm, but you’ve got one. It’s got the little gear symbol on multiple parts of it.
HUDSON: I think it looks pretty cool.
NICK: Yeah, it looks cool.
LAURA: “Just put it in one of your side pockets on your little backpack.”
HUDSON: “Okay. You mean my utility belt?”
LAURA: Well no, you have a utility belt and a backpack.
HUDSON: Oh yeah, that’s right.
LAURA: Because we imagined that the utility belt is more of a bandolier style that you can then hold your vibro-axe on, but you also have a little backpack. I imagine it’s a tiny little…
CAMERON: It’s super cute compared to your size.
LAURA: I’m picturing a little backpack and it’ so cute.
NICK: Is it of an ewok?
CAMERON: (gasps)
LAURA: No…
NICK: It’s a little ewok backpack.
CAMERON & HUDSON: No.
LAURA: No, it’s just a cute little leather backpack. It’s a regular sized backpack, but because of Tink’s size and width it looks super tiny. Kind of like when you see Shaq get into a car, and you’re like oh, look at that, it’s cute.
CAMERON: (laughs) Try not to let anyone see that, but you have it if you need it.
HUDSON: Alright.
NICK: It won’t be super obvious, but if you hold someone up they may wonder, “Hey, why does this person have an Imperial blaster?”
CAMERON: We can mod it later.
HUDSON: Yeah.
NICK: Okay. So, what else?
STEVEN: I grab the briefcase.
NICK: Smart.
STEVEN: And we lower the stairs.
CAMERON: I’m gonna go pop the thing open, pop the ramp down.
NICK: Okay. You drop the ramp. Do all of you head out? Who’s in the lead? What are you all doing?
LAURA: Xianna’s gonna walk in front, and again she’s gonna look at Sabos, and stop, and sigh. “Sabos, look at me. Look into my eyes. Do not talk to them.”
STEVEN: “The light will never go out in the universe.”
CAMERON: “Wrong planet.”
(laughter)
STEVEN: “I know.”
LAURA: “This is why I am asking you do not talk, because even Tink does not say the things you say. Please let me or Karma do the talking. Please.”
STEVEN: “I am an ambassador.”
LAURA: “No. I think you are a war criminal.”
CAMERON: “Anyway, walking down the ramp. Hush.”
NICK: So, out you go. Sabos is carrying the briefcase. As you get closer to the oil drum fire you see that there is a Quarren out front. He has a lot of scars on his face tentacles. For those of you not versed in Star Wars species, a Quarren basically looks like Davey Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean. He has a tentacle face and kind of a squid head, and before they were officially named in the books they were called squid heads on their action figures and stuff. So, there’s a Quarren, and he is standing in the lead. He’s got what looks like a smuggler kind of captain outfit, so it’s nice and indistinct.
CAMERON: So, a vest?
NICK: Mm-hmm.
CAMERON: Nice. Okay.
NICK: Yeah, but like rather than just a vest and pants he has like epaulets, and he’s obviously a little bit fancier.
CAMERON: Oo-ooh. Got some girl scout patches on his vest.
NICK: Mm-hmm. Then there’s a human who’s kind of small but has a bunch of different blasters strapped to them, a guy with dark, short hair. Then there’s a Gamorrean in the back who has a tusk broken off and a robotic arm and a vibro-axe who stays behind the fire ad looks imposing. The Quarren steps up to the front and says, “You here to make the drop?”
LAURA: “Yes. Hello. How are you today?”
NICK: “That seems irrelevant to this business negotiation.”
LAURA: “I was just being polite.”
NICK: “Fine. Uh, let’s just do this. Do you have the briefcase?”
LAURA: “Yes.”
STEVEN: “Right here.”
NICK: “Uh, yes, you are clearly the leader.”
HUDSON: “Don’t—Don’t boost his ego.”
STEVEN: I nod, but I try to nod, like, you know an under the…
CAMERON: You nod curtly.
STEVEN: Yeah, curtly. I really don’t want anyone else to notice except him.
NICK: “So you, leader, how did you convince Falx to make the delivery?”
CAMERON: (laughing) The leader looks to Xianna.
LAURA: Yeah. Xianna sees this and kinda rolls her eyes. (sighs) “Our leader had a one on one talk with him and convinced him to do the delivery. I do not know of the exact details. Our leader does not like to discuss these things with the rest of us.”
STEVEN: “Yep.”
CAMERON: (laughs)
NICK: “Ah yes, a man of few words, much like me.” You see the Quarren’s tentacles all curl up into his face in maybe pride, hard to tell, he’s got a squid for a face.
CAMERON: (giggles)
LAURA: Xianna’s just keeping a smile on her face, just internally being like, ugh I hate this, but I’m smiling.
HUDSON: Yeah, I’m dead inside.
CAMERON: Karma’s taking the role of the Gamorrean in the back and is just standing, looking imposing behind everyone.
NICK: The Quarren says, “Tiny, go and get the briefcase.” The small human seems very suspicious, and he keeps a hand on the grip of one of his blasters, and reaches out for the briefcase.
STEVEN: Yeah, I let him take the briefcase. I also have a hand on my big rifle behind my back because I think that’s what we’re doing now.
(laughter)
NICK: Okay. So, Tiny takes it and he sets it down in one of the folding chairs. You see, you didn’t really look at the briefcase that carefully but it has a pretty complicated locking mechanism on it, and Tiny starts typing some stuff in.
STEVEN: “We best be going.”
LAURA: Yeah, Xianna’s standing here in her head going like, we didn’t check what was in the briefcase.
STEVEN: We need to get out.
LAURA: Umm… and starts putting her hands like nonchalantly into her pockets, and kind of like, I mean hopefully he would’ve put something in the briefcase, but we don’t really know this guy and he did blackmail us into this.
CAMERON: Karma’s already looking terrifying, so she’s holding onto her weapons already.
NICK: So, as Sabos starts to back away towards the ship, Quiggle says, “Hold on, Quiggle always verifies the deal.”
Tiny types and you hear an (error noise) and he goes, “Shit,” and he starts typing again, and there’s like 20 seconds of awkward beeping and then you hear (error noise). “Okay, wait wait wait, I think I remember.” Quiggle’s starting to look kind of awkward as he’s still standing there. You can tell his swelled up personality can only be held for so long. Now, the Gamorrean on the other hand, that’s pretty much his default setting, big and scary, but Quiggle not so much.
CAMERON: Karma shifts her weight to her other hip.
NICK: Finally, Tiny hits a button and you hear (a clicking noise) and it clicks open, and he opens up the briefcase, and you hear him go, “Uh-oh.”
Quiggle turns around and goes, “What is it?”
Tiny says, “I’m sure it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
Quiggle says, “Tell me now.”
“Uh, briefcase is empty boss,” and Quiggle immediately starts to go for his gun.
LAURA: Ugh, yeah, Xianna just throws her head back, rolls her eyes, and sighs. She already has her gun out, because she does have quick draw.
NICK: Okay. Nobody starts shooting right away. Quiggle says, “What did you do with the money?” He’s pointing a gun at… I guess Sabos, probably.
(laughter)
STEVEN: Sure.
CAMERON: Leader. Our leader.
LAURA: Which everyone I think is okay with at this point.
NICK: Tiny draws two pistols and then draws a big rifle on a tripod and drops it in front of him, and kicks it forward a little, and is pointing all of those weapons at Sabos as well.
LAURA: Xianna looks over at him. “Yes, leader, where did the credits go?”
STEVEN: I’m gonna try to be really cool here. “As you know, I didn’t know the password. I’m just the currier.”
NICK: “Clearly you are someone more put together than that. You’re trying to screw us!” And they go to start shooting.
STEVEN: I mean… sure.
LAURA: We shot first.
(laughter)
NICK: So, I will need Vigilance rolls from everyone.
STEVEN: (sighs) Right. I really need to get some of that.
HUDSON: Me too.
LAURA: Yeah…
HUDSON: I have no Vigilance and one Willpower.
CAMERON: Guys! Seriously? (laughs)
LAURA: Hey, I have like Cool, and Streetwise, and Skullduggery, and Deception.
CAMERON: Am I the only one with the Vigilance skill?
LAURA: Yes.
CAMERON: Oh great.
STEVEN: It’s just so expensive.
HUDSON: I have one success.
LAURA: A success and an advantage.
STEVEN: Two successes and an advantage.
CAMERON: Two successes and an advantage.
NICK: Can you roll me a three green dice check, please?
CAMERON: One success, four advantages.
NICK: Roll it for me again.
CAMERON: Two successes, three advantages.
NICK: And then roll me two green dice, please.
CAMERON: Two advantages.
NICK: Okay. Who had the most successes?
STEVEN: Me and Cameron.
NICK: Had how many?
STEVEN & CAMERON: Two.
NICK: Two? Okay, so it’s gonna go NPC, two PC slots… How many people had one advantages? You guys did?
CAMERON: Successes?
NICK: Successes, I mean.
HUDSON: Successes, yeah.
NICK: NPC, two PC slots, NPC. Nice and spread out. Alright, so Captain Quiggle, the Quarren, is gonna go first.
(someone snorts)
LAURA: (giggles)
NICK: It’s a perfectly respectable pirate name.
LAURA: ‘Queegle.’
HUDSON: ‘Queegle.’
NICK: He says—
CAMERON: (musically) Quiggle, Quiggle, Quiggle…
SEVERAL: (musically) Do, do, do do, do…
STEVEN: That’s no more respectable than I am the leader.
CAMERON: (laughing) I’ve been thinking that every single time since you said it.
NICK: Ah, okay! So Quiggle says, “Damn it, Falx. You’ve betrayed us for the last time!” And he takes a shot at Sabos.
STEVEN: I say, “Not Falx, not Falx. Sabos, not Falx.”
NICK: “Close enough!” Can you make me a two difficulty check with two greens and a yellow? This guy’s pretty good.
CAMERON: Not good enough. Failure, two advantages.
NICK: Okay. He shoots at Sabos while he ducks back behind the oil drum fire, and he takes a shot, and Sabos is able to duck to the side, but when he does so he presents a very clear target to Tiny who’s gonna go next. So, that’s what happens there. He will have a blue die on his next check. Then we’ve got two PC slots. Who’s gonna go first?
STEVEN: I’ll shoot.
NICK: Okay. Who are you shooting at?
STEVEN: The big guy’s behind cover now?
NICK: Yeah.
CAMERON: The squid man is behind cover.
STEVEN: Quiggle? Quiggle the Quarren?
NICK: Quiggle the Quarren Captain is behind cover!
STEVEN: So, just Tiny and the Gamorrean are out?
CAMERON: The other big pig man.
NICK: Mm-hmm. So you can shoot Quiggle, it’ll just be a little bit harder to hit him.
STEVEN: I’ll shoot the big pig. \inaudible\ scary.
[ ]: Shoot the big pig, yeah.
NICK: Okay. That’s racist as heck, by the way.
STEVEN: Yeah.
NICK: Maybe he’s their slicer. Don’t make judgments.
LAURA: I mean, but have you met Sabos?
NICK: So he’s at medium range, so it will be average, yeah.
STEVEN: Yeah, well, nothing happens.
STEVEN & CAMERON: One advantage.
NICK: How would you like to spend your advantage?
STEVEN: Can I get behind cover on the ship?
CAMERON: You can do that anyway \inaudible\
NICK: You’re at long range from the ship. To run back to the ship would take several maneuvers, but you can use a maneuver to run back to the ship. That doesn’t even cost an advantage. It’s just gonna take you a while to get there.
STEVEN: Uhh… How far are we from the trash fire?
CAMERON: You can use your advantage to set up another piece in the environment that you can jump behind, like there’s a crate or something.
STEVEN: Oh yeah. Also, who goes next?
NICK: It’s another PC slot.
STEVEN: Can I use the advantage to make the pig more presentable?
NICK: Yeah. You can make it so the next person to go will get a blue die.
STEVEN: Yeah, I’ll do that.
NICK: Okay, so it’s the same kind of thing. You shoot at him and he ducks out of the way, but he steps a little bit closer into the fire light, so it’s gonna be real easy to hit that guy. And, another PC slot.
HUDSON: I think that I want to take my light blaster, feel overly confident but like secretly pretty scared of using it, and try to hit the pig person.
NICK: Okay. It’ll be two difficulty with a boost die.
HUDSON: And I have nothing in ranged light weapon.
NICK: Great!
STEVEN: Hold on, wait, does that—No, no. Does that help? No, it doesn’t.
HUDSON: Yeah. None of my \inaudible\ help either.
STEVEN: Is that an assist? No, okay.
NICK: You can’t assist people with combat checks, unless you wanna do the like ghost thing where you’re behind him massaging his shoulders, and if we do that you have to specify.
STEVEN: (laughs)
LAURA & CAMERON: Hmm…
HUDSON: Just advantage.
CAMERON: So, it fails, because it’s a wash.
NICK: Okay, so you miss. How would you like to spend your advantage?
HUDSON: Um… I’ll help the next PC character slot out.
CAMERON: (laughs)
NICK: Alright. So it’s the same thing. You all are shooting right above your left shoulder, and there’s this weird triangle of blasters going around, and everybody’s taking one step to the left each time. It’s rather comical. It’s how I imagine \bar fights\ in the old west would get. Everybody’s just shooting near people and nothing’s happening.
[ ]: Pew!
NICK: Now we’ve got another NPC slot, and it is Tiny. He takes both of his blasters and he is going to shoot at Sabos, still, because that was his last order. He has a green and a yellow, and a blue die because he got set up.
STEVEN: Don’t listen to him, Tiny.
CAMERON: Two difficulty still?
NICK: It’s gonna be three, because he’s dual wielding.
CAMERON: Two failures and an advantage.
NICK: Alright. So, he shoots a whole bunch, and you hear him going, aaaaah, pew pew pew, and they just go all over the place…
LAURA: Aww, so cute.
NICK: And pepper the back wall, and with the advantage he actually hits something somewhere off on the back wall and the ray shield starts to flicker, and some of the atmosphere starts to go out and it gets really windy and crazy in here. He’s destabilized something important. That advantage is going to start with whoever gets shot at next by the Quiggle Crew is going to have a blue die. Oh, no, so whoever next attacks from your team, not the Quiggle Crew, will have a black die, because the atmosphere is thinning.
HUDSON: The Quiggle ‘quew.’
LAURA & CAMERON: The Quiggle Crew~!
STEVEN: Quiggle the Quarren crew, captain.
NICK: Quiggle the captain of the Quarren Quiggle crew.
LAURA: If it’s a PC slot…
NICK: Yeah, it is a PC slot next, yes.
LAURA: Yeah. I imagine Xianna would go since she was already hands in her pocket of like, oh this is going south. Like, immediately, she was like, ugh. (musically) We didn’t check the briefcase, gonna shoot someone…
CAMERON: You have a blue die and a black die.
LAURA: Yes. Who’s closest to me?
NICK: Tiny is closest to you. Quiggle’s behind cover, and the Gamorrean is behind them.
LAURA: Probably Tiny, yeah? I’ll shoot Tiny.
NICK: Guys, we are so good at shooting.
CAMERON: Some of us.
LAURA: Two successes.
NICK: Nice. How much damage does your blaster do?
LAURA: Six, so that will be eight damage.
NICK: Ooh. Okay, you hit Tiny square in the chest, and he yelps and kind of crouches down. He drops his blasters. So, he’s down and he’s bleeding pretty hard, but he doesn’t look down completely. He says, “Quiggle’s Crew never quits!”
STEVEN: Oh boy.
NICK: He’s still moving. Another PC slot.
CAMERON: That’ll be Karma. I am going to shoot at the… I can only think of Gigoran.
NICK, STEVEN & CAMERON: Gamorrean.
LAURA: ‘Quigmorrean!’
HUDSON: ‘Quigmorrean?’
LAURA: You know…
STEVEN: The Quiggle Gamorrean.
LAURA: When Quiggle and the Gamorrean have a little baby.
CAMERON: Yep, gonna shoot at the Gamorrean.
NICK: Aww, little pig with tentacle face.
CAMERON: It’d be so cute~
LAURA: It’d be terrifying.
CAMERON: With tusks coming out of the tentacles?
HUDSON: Eww.
CAMERON: That sounds gross.
LAURA: I mean, I actually think that would probably be cute.
STEVEN: So like a catfish.
NICK: Yeah, basically.
STEVEN: Yeah. Just sharper.
CAMERON: Two successes, one threat.
NICK: One threat. Okay, so the threat is you step forward and start spraying blaster fire with your carbine and come into the fire light. The atmosphere is kind of venting, it’s starting to get a little light, but you’re really good at dealing with low oxygen environments so that’s not too big a deal, and your blasters scrape across the Gamorrean’s chest. How much damage do you do?
CAMERON: Eleven.
NICK: Ooh-hoo-hoo.
LAURA: Damn.
CAMERON: I have a big gun.
NICK: That’s a palpable hit. He grunts, and a little trickle of greenish blood comes down the side of his mouth, and he begins to step forward as it is his turn. He is at medium range which means it takes a maneuver to get to short range and then another maneuver to get to engaged, and he’s gonna go ahead and engage with… Roll me a force die, would you
CAMERON: Oh no. One dark side.
NICK: Sabos! So, even though you shot him his orders had been take down the leader, so he takes one strain to do a double move action, and he is going to try and hit you in the face with a giant vibro-axe. This is gonna hurt real bad.
STEVEN: Cool.
NICK: Go ahead and roll me a yellow and two greens versus an average check.
STEVEN: Oh, that hurts pretty bad.
CAMERON: Wow. Four successes.
NICK: Oh shit. What’s the damage on your vibro-axe there, Tink?
HUDSON: Brawn plus three.
LAURA: Well, it’s also pierce two, sunder, vicious three I believe, because your serrated edge adds plus one.
HUDSON: Yeah, that’s what it is.
NICK: h, okay, so pierce two. So you take Brawn is three, plus three is six, plus four is ten, and then that does get reduced by your Soak, but by two less than your normal Soak because it’s pierce two.
CAMERON: So you still take…
STEVEN & CAMERON: Eight.
NICK: You take eight damage. How are you looking there, Sabos?
STEVEN: I’m doing pretty good.
CAMERON: Oh, he’s fine.
NICK: Okay.
CAMERON: He’s almost… A little less than half health.
NICK: The Gamorrean twirls; he sprints up to you, twirls his vibro-axe with surprising agility, and slashes you across the chest, and it bites deep, and it hurts real bad. Do you respond in any particular way?
STEVEN: Good thing it wasn’t my head tail.
(laughter)
CAMERON: (groans) There’s an idea.
NICK: We’re back to the top. Quiggle says, “Great work! Quiggle’s Crew always stands correct!” And then he also goes to shoot Sabos.
CAMERON: How are they spelling these words?
(laughter)
LAURA: I do not know. Maybe in their language it makes more sense. Like, it is actually alliteration and not just phonetic alliteration.
NICK: So, he’s gonna shoot at Sabos, which is a two difficulty still, except he’s gonna take a maneuver to aim now that he’s down behind cover. He’s gonna try to shoot at Sabos.
CAMERON: Blue die! He’s gonna try. Two failures, six advantages.
NICK: Alright, so he’s gonna give three blue dice to Tiny, because he doesn’t actually shoot with his blaster pistol, he actually shoots a little tracking dart that hits Sabos in the chest. It doesn’t hurt, but it starts to beep a little, and that big rifle that’s on the ground has a laser that lines up with it, and the rifle starts to beep. So, I wonder what that’ll do.
CAMERON: I’m sure it’ll be fine.
NICK: I’m sure it’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it.
LAURA: It’ll be okay.
NICK: Yeah. So that was Quiggle’s turn. Two PC slots.
STEVEN: I’m gonna pull the tracking dart out.
NICK: Nope.
STEVEN: I can’t?
NICK: Nope.
STEVEN: Can I shoot it out?
NICK: You can try.
STEVEN: Can I use my vibro-knife to cut it out?
NICK: You can absolutely try.
STEVEN: That seems like a good idea.
NICK: Alright. Do that.
STEVEN: Oh wait, no—Oh, I have some Melee. Yeah, that’s fine. Is Melee what we’re gonna do here?
NICK: That or Medical.
LAURA: (laughs) Melee against the tracking dart. (laughter) I wanna try to cut something delicately out of my torso… Eh, Melee check!
HUDSON: Melee!
NICK: Use an uppercut!
LAURA: I’m gonna use a giant knife!
CAMERON: What’s the difficulty?
NICK: We’re gonna say it’s average, but every threat is going to hurt you.
CAMERON: Okay. There you go, buddy.
NICK: Also, flip me a dark side point. Let’s upgrade one of those suckers.
STEVEN: Alright. That’s cool.
NICK: I want Sabos to stab himself so bad.
STEVEN: Nah, we’re gonna be fine.
CAMERON: Hey, you’re fine.
STEVEN: A success and an advantage.
NICK: Yeah. You’re able to carve the tracking device out. You don’t hit yourself, you just put a little divot in the armor and the tracking device falls out, and with the advantage it rolls far enough away from you—
STEVEN: Can I get behind cover?
NICK: Yeah. You can use a maneuver to try and get to some cover. There are the mobile folding chairs, and there is the trash can fire.
STEVEN: The trash can sounds amazing. Just warm up behind the trash can fire.
NICK: Okay, so it’s gonna take two maneuvers to do. You can use one maneuver to move up to the trash can fire, and if you take a strain you can take another one to take cover on the opposite side of the barrel from Quiggle.
CAMERON: (giggles)
STEVEN: Yeah, I’ll take a strain.
NICK: Okay. You are now both back to back with the barrel between you.
STEVEN: That sounds fine.
NICK: As you slam into the barrel and it rolls you hear Quiggle go, “Hey! Give up now. There’s no chance.” That’s one PC slot. Next PC slot?
HUDSON: Can I go?
LAURA: Well, it doesn’t matter the order.
CAMERON: Yeah.
NICK: You can go if you want.
HUDSON: Okay, unless you had something really cool you wanted to do.
LAURA: I mean, I was gonna shoot someone. I don’t know if that’s cool in a…
HUDSON: I’m like super close to the Gamorrean, I think, so I was gonna go vibro-axe on him.
STEVEN: Just saying, there’s a, if y’all wanted to pick up the dart and put it somewhere useful…
CAMERON: No, that’s fine. You got this, buddy.
STEVEN: Haha, I mean it would help you all too.
HUDSON: So, the Gamorrean’s the pig monster, right?
NICK: That’s really mean.
LAURA: Stop calling him a pig monster! They’re an actual species that like does stuff!
CAMERON: Tink is the yeti monster.
HUDSON: I’m the yeti monster.
LAURA: They’re not monsters. They are people.
HUDSON: I just keep thinking of the pig monster from Power Rangers, and that’s what I visualize. Anyways. I have my vibro-axe, and I go after the Gamorrean for a vibro-axe battle!
NICK: In the background it starts going- (hums Duel of the Fates from The Phantom Menace).
NICK: Make your attack. Vibro-axes don’t have defense, do they?
HUDSON: No.
NICK: Okay.
HUDSON: Two successes and a threat.
NICK: Okay, so the threat is you swing wide and leave yourself a little open so that when he attacks you he’s gonna be able to do something similar. Two successes… So, what’s your Brawn, three?
HUDSON: Yep.
NICK: So that’s eight damage, but his Soak is three, so he’ll take five. Ooh, he’s not doing well.
HUDSON: Ha-ha!
NICK: You bury the vibro-axe into that space between his neck and his shoulder. It sinks in real good, and he squeals, and then he pulls back and gets ready to attack you except it’s not his turn. So, Tiny drops down prone, uses his maneuver to drop prone, which it’ll be harder to hit him, and he grabs that rifle, and he’s going to take another shot at Sabos. At this point he’s just trying to have done something with his life. So, it’s a yellow and a green versus two purple. Can you flip a dark side point?
CAMERON: Ugh.
NICK: It’s strong with him.
STEVEN: Behind the barrel even, only two purples?
NICK: Well, he’s off to the side. He’s not behind the barrel. Oh, you can have a black die for cover.
LAURA: I should note that throughout this whole time Xianna keeps yelling like, “Yes, Sabos, our leader, you told us to do this.”
STEVEN: “Everything’s fine.”
LAURA: “Defend yourself, leader!”
STEVEN: Well, that’s not good.
CAMERON: Two successes, four threats.
NICK: Hey, you know what happens when we get more than three threats.
CAMERON: The guy laying on the ground falls prone.
NICK: He falls prone. (deep bass noise) So, I guess that means the kick from the rifle is so strong that he goes flying backwards and he ends up on his back without his rifle anymore. How many successes was it?
CAMERON: Two.
HUDSON: Mega prone.
NICK: Two? So, it’s seven damage \reckless\, so it’s nine damage coming at you, Sabos.
CAMERON: (gasping laughter)
LAURA: Umm…
NICK: Minus your Soak.
CAMERON: Yeah, yeah, four. He’s down to one health.
STEVEN: Yeah, that’s cool. Yeah.
CAMERON: I’m sure he’ll be fine.
STEVEN: Yeah, yeah.
LAURA: Yeah. I’m sure you’ll be fine.
STEVEN: Yeah, that’s fine.
LAURA: Good luck finding someone on this team who’s gonna heal you.
CAMERON: (laughing)
STEVEN: No, it’s all good. It’s all good.
NICK: That was Tiny’s turn, so it’s a PC slot.
LAURA: Is Quiggle visible, or is he still in his hiding spot?
NICK: He’s behind the barrel. You would get a black die to shoot at him, but you can see him. It’s just kind of hard to tell where the shadows end and he begins.
CAMERON: If you take out the almost dead guy, I’ll go after the live one.
LAURA: Well, because I don’t wanna get in the middle of this vibro-axe battle. That’s like an honor thing right now. They’re good.
CAMERON: Oh, see, I was gonna end that.
HUDSON: I’ll finish this!
CAMERON: Okay, you got it! You got it, Tink!
LAURA: Xianna’s gonna like honor their little one-on-one battle.
HUDSON: Thank you!
LAURA: Wait, Tiny’s alive, right?
CAMERON: Yeah, but Tiny’s down, almost.
NICK: He’s down on the ground, he’s bleeding a little, he’s not near his rifle…
LAURA: Oh, no, yeah, then Xianna’s gonna shoot at Quiggle.
NICK: He is covered in pistols, though.
LAURA: She’s gonna shoot at the Quiggle.
NICK: Okay.
CAMERON: Hee hee hee…
STEVEN: Quiggle the Quarren.
LAURA & CAMERON: (musically) Quiggle, Quiggle, Quiggle, do, do do, do…
NICK: I’m never naming NPCs again.
LAURA: I’m going to aim.
STEVEN: Ooh.
LAURA: I’m gonna flip a light side point.
NICK: Oooh.
LAURA: Four advantages. That’s it.
NICK: How would you like to spend those?
LAURA: He is going to drop the weapon he is holding.
NICK: Okay. So you shoot the blaster out of his hand. “Hey, that was the blaster my mother gave me.”
LAURA: “Oh, I did not know that. Sorry. I should have just shot your face instead.”
NICK: “I swear eternal vengeance. You have been submitted to Quiggle’s quarrel!”
(snorts and giggles)
LAURA: Xianna just kinda like stops. “What is with these names? Seriously.”
STEVEN: (laughs) Quiggle’s quarrel… “Were we not already in Quiggle’s quarrel?” I say behind the other side of the barrel.
NICK: “Shut up! Come out where I can shoot—Oh wait, I don’t have my gun anymore.”
HUDSON: Before this time there was an \accorem\.
STEVEN: “Come out where I can shoot you.”
CAMERON: Go get in Quiggle’s corner.
NICK: (laughing) So, it’s Karma’s shot.
CAMERON: I am going to shoot at Quiggle. I’m going to take a black die because he’s under cover. I’m going to take a blue die because I’m going to aim.
HUDSON: Shoot his privates.
LAURA: Nooo.
STEVEN: So, Tiny. So, you mean Tiny?
CAMERON: I’m going to flip a light side point to upgrade.
NICK: “Don’t castrate Quiggle~”
STEVEN: ‘Quastrate.’
CAMERON: And I’m going to—Stop. (laughs) I’m going to shoot him.
STEVEN: ‘Quiggle quastration.’
CAMERON: A success, two advantages. So that’s only ten damage.
NICK: Ooh, okay. That’s the first time he’s been hit. He yelps and ducks further behind the barrel as you hit him solidly in the shoulder. He’s not super happy. What?
CAMERON: Ah, my crit’s three.
NICK & LAURA: Ohh.
CAMERON: Dang! So close. I have two.
LAURA: So, I still had an extra advantage from my turn. I don’t know if it’s too late to add a blue die to that.
CAMERON: (laughing) Can I have a retroactive blue die?
NICK: You can add a blue die to Karma.
CAMERON: Can I see what it does?
NICK: If you get an advantage.
CAMERON: If I get another advantage? Let’s see… Aw, it’s nothing. Damn.
NICK: Aw, bummer. It was worth a try.
CAMERON: Can my advantages be that the barrel falls over?
NICK: Sure.
STEVEN: No…
NICK: And shoots sparks everywhere.
CAMERON: Yup, and he and Sabos fall back to back, because it just disappears.
NICK: Yeah. It falls to the side, shoots sparks everywhere, they’re very illuminated. Whoever shoots at Quiggle next will get a blue die, and Sabos and Quiggle actually are touching backs right now, and they do the thing where Quiggle looks left, and he looks left, so they look over each other’s opposite shoulders and they don’t make eye contact for a second. Then the Gamorrean, our giant pig friend, goes. He squeals to himself and swings his vibro-axe at Tink, because there’s a giant person with a vibro-axe in front of him. That’ll be two greens and a yellow versus two purple dice.
Oh, he failed the hell out of that.
CAMERON: One failure, two advantages.
NICK: So, the two advantages: He’s going to attack but get deflected, and he’s going to defend himself so whoever attacks him next will get a black die. How do you block his axe attack, Tink?
HUDSON: With my axe.
NICK: Okay. Does it shoot sparks everywhere and look super cool?
HUDSON: Yeah!
CAMERON, LAURA: (hum Duel of the Fates from The Phantom Menace).
NICK: Great! It’s up to Quiggle’s turn. He doesn’t have a gun, so he’s gonna straight try to punch Sabos in the back of the head. So he turns around and like grabs him, and he tries to punch Sabos in the face. That’s gonna be a yellow and a green versus two purples.
CAMERON: One threat.
NICK: One threat. No successes?
CAMERON: Nope.
NICK: Aw, okay. So, whoever shoots at him next it’ll be two blue die. He tries to punch you and you manage to just duck your head out of the way, and he ends up awkwardly hugging you.
CAMERON: Aww.
NICK: Yeah.
CAMERON: Quiggle cuddles!
STEVEN: Quiggle ‘kwuddle.’
NICK: “Beware the Quiggle cuddles!”
LAURA & CAMERON: Quiggle ‘kwuddles!’
NICK: ‘Kwuddles?’ I don’t wanna say ‘kwuddles.’
LAURA & CAMERON: Quiggle ‘kwuddles!”
NICK: Gosh. He’s a respectable space pirate, you guys. Okay.
LAURA: No he’s not!
CAMERON: And he’s so ‘kwuddly.’
LAURA: He’s just so quute!
STEVEN: He’s so quigglewy.
NICK: It is a PC slot.
STEVEN: I’m just gonna stab him with the vibro-knife.
NICK: Okay.
(laughter)
STEVEN: We’re sitting back to back, so.
LAURA: Stabby stab stab.
CAMERON: First person to attack Quiggle gets two blue dice.
STEVEN: Oh yeah.
NICK: He’s lit by fire light, and also just like standing awkwardly hugging you.
CAMERON: (seethes)
LAURA: What is—Okay.
CAMERON: That is cocked.
NICK: Yeah, you can reroll that one.
CAMERON: That’s cocked. Reroll it, and it better be good.
LAURA: That is a cock.
CAMERON: Hey!
LAURA: There you go.
STEVEN: Hey, two successes. It is gonna be five total.
NICK: Five damage, okay. You stab him in the throat, it severs a couple of his face tentacles, and he drops.
STEVEN: But the pierce is two on it, so.
NICK: Yeah. You went through his Soak, so that’s how you brought him down. Quiggle’s on the ground coughing up greenish blood. He’s out of the fight. Another PC slot.
HUDSON: I’ll go ahead and finish off the Gamorrean.
NICK: Okay. Go for it.
CAMERON: Two purple.
HUDSON: Two purple.
CAMERON: And a black die, because he’s in defending zone.
NICK: Yes, thank you. Glad we have Cameron to help with that.
HUDSON: Nooo.
CAMERON: Nothing.
STEVEN: Well—
NICK: Absolutely nothing.
LAURA: Literally nothing. Just blank dice.
HUDSON: Nothing.
NICK: Okay, so, like a blade ballet you both clash, titans in the asteroid night amongst the fire light, the shrieking whine of your weapons pierces everyone’s minds, and they know this is a fatal encounter… but nothing happens.
STEVEN & CAMERON: (giggles)
HUDSON: I feel like this is like Phasma and Finn fighting (mumbles)
NICK: A little bit, a little bit, yeah, except you’re both giant and kind of lumbering, so you’re not as cool.
HUDSON: Yeah, that’s true.
NICK: Tiny’s gonna go. He’s still on his back. He uses a maneuver to roll onto his tummy, so he’s prone instead of prone, and he draws two blaster pistols and he attempts to shoot Sabos.
STEVEN: “You’re gonna shoot me?” I yell out, because I’m right back to back with his leader.
NICK: No, you stabbed him. He’s on the ground now.
STEVEN: Oh, haha, alright.
NICK: And he has a green and a yellow, and it’s three purples because he’s dual wielding. So, Sabos, you’re gonna flip one to upgrade his difficulty to shoot you?
STEVEN: I will.
NICK: Eh, he’ll also take a strain to aim.
CAMERON: So that’s two purples, one red, one yellow, one green, and one blue?
NICK: Yep.
CAMERON: It’s a rainbow, guys.
LAURA: It’s so pretty.
CAMERON: I really hope this misses.
NICK: I hope it doesn’t.
CAMERON: I’ma feel real bad if I roll the roll that kills you.
STEVEN: Yup.
NICK: Ooh.
CAMERON: Eh, that’s one success.
STEVEN: Hey, look at that.
NICK: How many advantages?
CAMERON: Two.
STEVEN: Enough.
NICK: Oh man. You know what having two advantages does when you’re dual wielding, right?
STEVEN: No.
NICK: Lets him use both pistols.
CAMERON: Yeah. One success, two advantages.
NICK: Yeah! So he’s gonna use those two advantages to activate his other pistol, which means he’s gonna do double damage.
STEVEN: Sure, sure.
NICK: Which means that’s gonna be twelve damage coming at you.
STEVEN: That’s gonna be tough. (laughter) That will put me around, oh, the negative seven mark, pretty darn close to zero.
NICK: And if you go down, then that’s a crit, guys. Alright, so you are now unconscious at negative seven. We now know that it does track for negatives, and go ahead and roll that crit that Tiny got on you.
CAMERON: Thirty-four.
LAURA: A 34! Let’s see… That is Stunned. The target is staggered until the end of his next turn.
CAMERON: You’re also unconscious, though.
NICK: So you can’t take another action. Bummer.
STEVEN: Yeah, because I’m unconscious. (laughs)
NICK: So, Sabos goes down in a blaze of pistols. Tiny sits up slightly, and is like, “I hit him? I hit him! Woo!” And then everybody looks at him, and he’s like, “Uhh… Great.”
LAURA: Xianna actually is like, “Aw, good job.”
NICK: “Cool. Uh, last chance for y’all to surrender, because I’ve taken out your leader.”
CAMERON: “Sweetie, I’m gonna reverse that. Last chance for you to surrender”
NICK: “Um…”
CAMERON: “You might notice your leader’s down too.”
LAURA: “He is dead.”
CAMERON: “And I really don’t wanna hurt you.”
LAURA: “Also, he is not actually our leader.”
NICK: “What?!”
LAURA: “We just said that so that you would target him. We don’t really like him too much.”
CAMERON: “Thanks for shooting him for us.”
NICK: “Oh, you’re welcome. Well, I mean, wait—“ Can you make me a check?
CAMERON: Coercion?
NICK: Coercion, yes. It’s super duper Coercion.
CAMERON: Can Xianna help me?
NICK: Yeah, absolutely.
CAMERON: Can we co-Coercion?
STEVEN: Coerce.
NICK: Yeah.
LAURA: What’s Coercion?
CAMERON: It’s Willpower.
LAURA: Willpower? I have a two.
NICK: So you can have a blue die.
CAMERON: Okay. That at least gets me a blue.
LAURA: Okay.
NICK: For this one since it was straight her glaring at him and saying we’re about to kill you.
CAMERON: Dang. I don’t have the Good Cop skill on my tree yet.
LAURA: Oh no.
CAMERON: It’s right there, though. I can see it.
NICK: The Skiptracer tree, everyone who hasn’t read it, you should look at it. It’s awesome. You have Good Cop and Bad Cop, and it’s great.
LAURA: Wait, no, no—
CAMERON: Well, Skiptracer doesn’t have Bad Cop, they just have Good Cop, but other ones have Bad Cop.
LAURA: But in other trees. Yeah, we found the one that has Bad Cop, and I don’t remember which one it is.
CAMERON: Okay. Let’s see how intimidating we are. Nope, nada. Zilch.
NICK: Okay. He looks concerned for a minute, but then he says, “As long as our friend is standing, Quiggle’s crew of cons will stay on top.” And he looks real sad, but he doesn’t drop his weapons.
LAURA: I’m trying to think of more C Q words. You have like Quiggle’s coterie.
STEVEN: Ooh.
NICK: But he left them on the ship.
LAURA: Yes.
NICK: So, PC slot.
LAURA: Xianna’s gonna shoot Tiny, and she’s gonna kinda sigh and look sad at him.
CAMERON: No. He said as long as his friend is standing. Shoot his friend.
LAURA: Xianna doesn’t wanna get in the way of an honorable duel. Okay?
HUDSON: Don’t get in the way of my honorable duel!
CAMERON: Karma will shoot his friend!
HUDSON: No!
CAMERON: Karma don’t care! (laughs)
LAURA: Xianna is like, nuh-uh, those two are in close quarters combat. I’m going to honor that timely tradition-
HUDSON: Thank you.
LAURA: -and let them battle it out. You know. I’m gonna shoot the little tiny person.
STEVEN: (laughs)
NICK: Honorably.
LAURA: Is this like a child? I keep imagining like, short round.
NICK: He kind of looks like Mouse from the Matrix, so just like a scrawnier little guy.
LAURA: Oh. Just a small? I was straight up picturing short round, and I felt really bad because I was picturing like a little kid. Okay.
STEVEN: Seems like we’ve found ourselves in a Quiggle’s quagmire.
LAURA & CAMERON: Ohh!
NICK: Ho-ho! Too bad you’re unconscious. You gasp that around the bloody bullet wounds in your chest.
STEVEN: (laughs)
LAURA: And I’m gonna aim. Is he still lying down prone?
NICK: Yeah, so you get a black die.
CAMERON: Nooo.
LAURA: One threat.
NICK: Okay. You shoot at him and it’s obvious that you’re not super invested in hitting him, because you feel kinda bad about it-
LAURA: Yeah.
NICK: -and he ducks a little, and then sees that you’re not that committed to killing them, and he is heartened. He is very confident. That’s what the threat is.
STEVEN: (laughs)
NICK: Another PC slot.
LAURA: Karma should shooty-shoot-shoot.
CAMERON: Who am I shooting though is the thing. I’m questioning.
HUDSON: Shoot Tiny!
LAURA: I feel like Karma would shoot the Gamorrean.
CAMERON: Yeah, because how old does Tiny look?
NICK: Eighteen, maybe.
LAURA: Yeah.
CAMERON: Yeah. There’s no way in hell Karma’s shooting Tiny.
HUDSON: For all you know the Gamorrean could be a child. They’re just that big.
STEVEN: (laughs)
CAMERON: Yeah, I don’t care. Yeah, I’m shooting the Gamorrean.
NICK: Okay. Ooh boy.
CAMERON: Alrighty, so that’s two successes, two threats, and a triumph.
NICK: Okay. The threats are Tiny is even more bolstered but you get a—Are you gonna use the triumph to crit, or?
CAMERON: No. I’m going to do ten damage to the Gigoran—err, Gamorrean. Not the—I’m not shooting Tink. I’m shooting the pig person!
HUDSON: Whoa!
CAMERON: Hold on. Gamorrean.
NICK: Okay, so, you hit him in the back of the head. He’s mid swing. He actually had the advantage for a second. He had used the pole of his vibro-axe to hit Tink in the stomach, and he was going up for a big overhead strike, and you just shoot him in the back of the head and he collapses like a sack of potatoes.
CAMERON: One of the things for triumphs is that they can take out—
NICK: They take out mooks. They don’t take out, like–
LAURA: Yeah, you can take out minions.
CAMERON: Oh, okay.
NICK: These are like actual PC characters you guys are shooting.
CAMERON: So you said my threats were that he was more bolstered?
NICK: Mm-hmm.
CAMERON: Mmkay, because I wanted the triumph to be that he started thinking about how sad his mom would be if he died.
NICK: I mean, the triumph could be you can go kind of through the bolster and you get one more chance to try to persuade him to stand down.
CAMERON: Yeah.
NICK: Okay. So, you give your speech. He’s standing there going, “I’m gonna live forever! Quiggles for life! Yeah!” Even though he’s bleeding, he’s waving his guns around.
(laughter)
CAMERON: “How old are you?”
NICK: “I’m 18. I’m gonna live forever.”
CAMERON: “Mm, I’m not thinking for that much longer actually if you keep holding that gun.”
NICK: “That sounds intimidating, but clearly we’re gonna win. I don’t need my friends. I’m the new captain. Yay!”
LAURA: So, I know this won’t help Karma dice-wise, but Xianna just kinda looks over and is like, “Do you know how many of my friends were dead by the time I was 18? A lot.”
NICK: “Yeah, most of mine, too. I mean, those two were pretty much the last ones except for Quiggle’s coterie, and they were always pretty mean to me.”
(snorts and giggles)
CAMERON: How do these words work?!
LAURA: You can see she’s using her hands to like make a Q, but then a C, and she’s like, “But isn’t coterie with a C? I do not… Nn.”
CAMERON: “Before you do anything stupid, I just want you to sit back and reflect on your short life at this point and also think of all the people who are going to be sad, like your mom, if you don’t make it out of here, but how proud she’d be of you if you left as the new captain. You could even rename the crew since Quiggle is … dead. Sorry, I can’t think of a dead word for a Q. I apologize.”
STEVEN: Quiggle has quit.
(laughter)
NICK: Sabos sits up, says that, and passes back out.
CAMERON: Thank you, disembodied voice of Sabos! Yup.
NICK: Go ahead and make me a roll. You can use whichever talky skill you think is most appropriate.
CAMERON: yeah, that’s happening, because none of mine are good.
LAURA: Okay, I’ll go ahead and flip that. I mean, not that the audience could see, because you know audio medium, but I was pointing at a light side.
NICK: I like to think that Tabletop Squadron is an audio large.
STEVEN & HUDSON: Boo!
NICK: This is what happens when we play for five hours, guys. It only gets worse.
CAMERON: I’m going to use Charm, since I don’t think Deception fits at all.
NICK: Yeah.
CAMERON: I flipped a light side point, so I’m upgrading it.
LAURA: I can help with that.
NICK: Yeah, since you added stuff in.
LAURA: My Presence is a three.
CAMERON: Nice! Mine is only a two. So, what am I rolling against?
NICK: It’s gonna be two purple and a black die. The triumph cut through the three black dice it was originally gonna be.
CAMERON: Alright. I really hope we don’t have to kill this kid.
NICK: You’re gonna feel real bad.
CAMERON: I’m gonna feel so bad! It’s okay, I think we’re okay, two successes and an advantage.
NICK: Oh, he goes, “Yeah, you’re probably right,” and drops his pistols, and then he proceeds to drop the other eight pistols he had strapped to his chest.
CAMERON: (laughs) Karma does a big sigh of relief.
NICK: “All hail Captain Tiny! Also, do you guys have any like medical supplies, because I’m getting pretty low on blood here.” He starts to kind of waver in place.
CAMERON: “Why don’t you… Lay down. We’ll find something.”
NICK: “Okay.” He collapses to the ground.
HUDSON: “It’s a quality Quiggle evening.”
NICK: And, that’s where we’re gonna end it.
(All make dramatic noises and Star Wars tunes)
## Outro
CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show.
Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.
Tink is played by Hudson Jameson and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.
Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.
Sabos Nix was played by Steven Schroeder. He… does not exist on the internet.
Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.
Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.
Additional music by James Gunter.
Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @tabletop_squad. For real! We’re real people and we wanna talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.