Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 25:

Putting the Party in Boarding Party

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

I have one reminder and one vague statement to make today. First, reminder: We now have merchandise! You can get shirts, mugs, tote bags and stickers with your favorite Star Wars crew at teepublic.com. If you want to rep the show, check it out. Ours came in last week and I’ve been informed by several people that Tabletop Squadron merchandise made me appear more intelligent and attractive.

My vague statement for the episode: We’re getting pretty close to 200 followers on Twitter. Like, we can see it from where we’re standing, metaphorically. Laura’s been hard at work creating some awesome stuff to celebrate the next milestone. We’re ready to take this thing to the stars with your support. If you don’t follow us already on Twitter, you should, and if you have friends that might like the show, tell them. Believe me, it’s going to be worth it.

Finally, I want to thank JsXtm for their iTunes review. JsXtm must stand for Just So Extremely Terrific Machine. Thanks to everyone who has left us a review. It really warms our wampas to see all your kind words.

So now, let’s get into the episode.

##

NICK: Hello! Welcome to Tabletop Squadron, Episode 25! Pull up a chair. We’ve got chairs for you, at least one chair, but there should be exactly enough space. Just don’t knock my drink over on the new sound board. Gonna go around the table. Everybody gonna introduce themselves and say who they’re playing, and we got a little bit of experience last time so if you spent any let me know. We’re gonna go reverse order this time, so first up is Hudson.

HUDSON: Hi, I’m Hudson, and I play Tink the Gigoran slicer. I received experience last time but I’m hoarding that shit.

NICK: Yeah! He’s got it under a floorboard in his bedroom.

HUDSON: (laughing) They can’t escape.

(laughter)

NICK: (laughing) That’s not what I meant at all.

HUDSON: Oh…

NICK: I meant like a stash, not like…

LAURA: Like a box of money.

HUDSON: Oh!

NICK: (laughing) It’s too late. You said it now. Up next we’ve got Laura.

LAURA: I mean… (laughter) I’m just still thinking about this…

CAMERON: Did he like stash the money next to someone?

LAURA: Did you kill it and then put it under the floorboards, or did you bring it down into your basement and then wall it up?

HUDSON: Old Xavier Powell, known as XP, didn’t make it that far in my house.

NICK: He was like, ‘Yo Xavier, come try this really fancy wine in my basement.’

(laughter)

LAURA: That’s where I was going. ‘Do you want some really fancy wine? It’s in my basement…’ Hudson has no idea what we are talking about.

HUDSON: Nope.

NICK: That’s an Edgar Allan Poe short story called A Cask of Amontillado. It must have come out like, what, two or three years ago?

CAMERON: Oh my god. (smiling) Shut up.

HUDSON: (laughs)

LAURA: It’s a meme…? (laughter) You see, it’s a SpongeBob episode.

HUDSON: Oh yeah. I love that episode.

NICK: Oh god damn it.

LAURA & HUDSON: (laughs)

NICK: Our education system… Anyway Laura, who are you playing today?

LAURA: Yes. I am Laura, and I am playing Xianna’fan as always. She is a Twi’lek smuggler, and I also received experience points because we all did… (laughter) and I am not spending it, because I am also saving it.

NICK: Ooh.

LAURA: Mine is not under the floorboards though.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: It is just hanging out. It’s been invited over to stay a while.

CAMERON: It is stored safely on her character sheet.

LAURA: It is just written on my character sheet as abstract numbers. Yup.

NICK: Yup. Cool, cool. Cool-cool, cool-cool-cool. Last up we’ve got Cameron.

CAMERON: Hello! I’m Cameron. I’m playing Karma Nailo and I DID spend my experience points, because I had cheap shit to buy.

NICK: What’s that like?

CAMERON: Well, I decided it was time to put some XP into my Skip Tracer tree, so I bought Street Smarts!

NICK: Street Smarts!

LAURA & HUDSON: Street Smarts!

CAMERON: I get to remove a black die per rank of Street Smarts from all Streetwise or Knowledge: Underworld checks.

NICK: How much of that was because you thought it would assist the party and how much of it was you wanted to yell Street Smarts?

CAMERON: Well…

LAURA: Considering that I’ve had Street Smarts this whole time, and I don’t think I have once used it, it’s entirely so you can say Street Smarts!

CAMERON: Street Smarts!

NICK: I mean, that’s the main thing. I think you’ve used it once, but I can’t say stuff like that on the recording because someone will call me on it when I’m wrong.

CAMERON: Actually, the main reason I purchased it is because that is the line that gets me to the Dedication on that tree.

NICK: Stats are good. Stats are good.

CAMERON: Yes.

HUDSON: For our listeners that are unaware of the reference, just go watch the latest John Mulaney special, because there’s definitely an intersection between our audience and people who would like that special.

LAURA: It’s also an intersection of an inside joke we already had of ‘I have Streetwise!’

HUDSON: Yeah, that’s true.

NICK: Yeah. I’m pretty sure John Mulaney just knew that we liked that kind of joke and designed his whole special around us.

HUDSON: John Mulaney , our most famous fan.

LAURA: He stole my cross-stitch.

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: (laughs) The one that says ‘The cat is a dick. Watch out for your glasses.’?

LAURA: No, the one that says ‘I have Streetwise.’

NICK: Oh. Okay.

LAURA: You’ve seen this cross-stitch.

NICK: (laughs) Yeah. It’s a good cross-stitch. So, I have been informed that we are supposed to be playing Star Wars, so let’s start off with the Destiny Roll, which Cameron already did by accident.

CAMERON: (laughs) I got a dark side.

LAURA: I also got a single dark side.

HUDSON: I have a single dark side.

CAMERON: Oh shit. Three dark side.

NICK: Three dark side…

CAMERON: This is… It was so much better last episode.

HUDSON: It was.

CAMERON: (sighs) We used up all of our luck.

NICK: Yup. Probably. When we last left off, Karma saw Tink being spirited away on a YT2400 space ship, which if you’re keeping track is Dash Rendar’s ship. It’s not his actual ship, but it’s the same kind. That’s very important. Anybody who likes Star Wars should know that. Just kidding. Tink was sort of on-boarded to this gang crew situation, met Web-Web Kebob the blue Gungan, and Karma and Xianna went and got a full night’s sleep and then went after the Gregarious Green Gig—Green Gregarious Gigorans? Gosh.

HUDSON: GGG. (Triple G).

NICK: GGG!

CAMERON: That is the correct order of Gs. Yes.

NICK: Green is first?

CAMERON: Green is first.

NICK: Gah. We need to just start naming things like Bob, something easy.

CAMERON: Or the Slippery Nerfs.

NICK: The Slippery Nerfs was good, but they’re all dead now.

CAMERON: Whoops.

NICK: Yeah. You jump to hyperspace having bribed some people into giving you the heading of their last hyperspace jump, and you came into a battle scene of a Mon Cal cruiser being attacked by pirates and were able to dock with the ship but on the far side. We’ll start off right about there. Am I missing anything? Sound good?

We’re gonna start off with Tink. We start with the camera looking over Tink’s shoulder. He is standing surrounded by Gigorans and unsavory individuals in front of a sealed airlock door. You can hear ship fire in the distance. It looks like you must have been discovered already. Ziller, the Gigoran quartermaster, looks annoyed. “Well, go ahead and get this open, brother.”

You plug your outlaw tech data breaker into the door panel, and as you begin to slice into the system there’s a huge bang. Another airlock door shuts behind you and the crew. Web-Web Kebob, the blue Gungan, leans close to you. “It’s getting a bit stuffy in here,” they say. “You should go quickly.” I’m gonna need a slicing check from you to get into the ship.

HUDSON: Alright, alright, alright.

NICK: Oh no…

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: It’s hard. … Oh my gosh, you’re good at slicing.

CAMERON: He’s really kriffin’ smart.

HUDSON: Wait…

CAMERON: Oh no, he’s not that kriffin’ smart.

LAURA: No, he has a 4 in Intelligence.

CAMERON: He does, but not four yellows.

NICK: you get two blue dice for using your data breaker too.

HUDSON: Yes I do.

NICK: The most relevant item in the game.

HUDSON: I have a triumph with a success, an additional success, and a threat.

NICK: Wow. Okay. The door slides open. You’re able to do it really fast, pretty much before Web-Web finishes saying like hey hurry up and do this, the door (whooshes and clunks). I’ll just skip this paragraph where I describe what happens when you fail, because that didn’t happen.

CAMERON: (laughs)

HUDSON: Yay~

NICK: Ziller pulls a vibro-axe off his back and the other three Gigorans do the same. We get a shot of the entire crew of the GGG gang. It’s about 15 people all armed to the T, and they push past you. “Take what you want, brothers. We’ve got 45 minutes, then the ship leaves. Go!” And the pirates scatter through the ship leaving you and Web-Web behind. Is there anything you want to do with that triumph?

HUDSON: Hmm. Does Web-Web have weapons?

NICK: Yes.

HUDSON: Okay. What kind of weapons?

NICK: Web-Web has two light blasters and what looks like wickedly curved vibro-knives. They look like kukri, the curvy knives. They’re really intense and they’re sheathed in forearm sheathes.

HUDSON: In order to make it so that I seem like I’m trying to help them, but also so that I can inadvertently misdirect during this whole fight, I want Web-Web to sit on my shoulder so that I may throw him acrobatics style at people, or—

NICK: Them. That one’s important. Throw them.

HUDSON: Throw them.

NICK: They’re non-binary.

HUDSON: Ohh!

NICK: They/them pronouns.

HUDSON: They/them pronouns, got it.

NICK: Yup. You’re good. Keep going.

HUDSON: …throw them at different people, or (laughing) have Web-Web just shoot from my shoulder.

NICK: Okay, so you want your triumph to be, because you hacked so good, this space pirate will ride on your shoulder like a deadly parrot. That’s what you want?

(laughter)

HUDSON: Yes.

NICK: (smiling) Um… Sorry. I was not expecting that.

CAMERON: Why…?

NICK: One: We can absolutely make this happen. Two: I’ll let that triumph give you two blue dice on a check to convince them that’s the best tactic to use, but I want to roleplay this conversation out.

HUDSON: yes. (laughs)

NICK: The door swings open. Everybody leaves. Web-Web is sitting there. They are unsheathing and re-sheathing their kukri blades on their forearms and checking their blasters. “Alright, let’s go. Where are we going? My job is to follow you. What’s going on?”

HUDSON: “If your job is to follow me, I have a proposal.”

NICK: “Okay…?”

HUDSON: “You should sit on my shoulder for optimal… You know acrobatics, right?”

NICK: “Oh. Can you just tell from my lithe figure? Yeah.”

HUDSON: “Not that you look like you’re from the circus or anything. Yeah.” (laughter) “But anyways, I digress. For the optimal vantage point you should sit on my shoulder so that I may throw you at the enemy or cause you to have a better shot, because you’d be higher up.”

NICK: “So I’m gonna be honest right now… No one’s ever told me to ride on their shoulders. I mean, you’re a big Gigoran, but we’re also gonna be on a ship. It’s gonna be… I’m gonna hit my head on stuff. I can just tell the first time you roll a threat I’m gonna smack my head on something.”

(chuckling)

HUDSON: “What’s rolling a threat?” (laughs)

NICK: “I have meta-knowledge, because I was created by Twitter.” No, none of that’s canon. Moving on. Roll me a Charm check, or if you have no intention of this increasing Web-Web’s capabilities you could do Deception. If you’re purely doing it so that you have an advantage when the tide turns.

HUDSON: I’m purely doing it so that I can have an advantage.

NICK: Okay, so this is even more BS which you’re better at than if you were just trying to be nice. I love that a majority of our team is better at lying than saying nice things.

HUDSON: Absolutely. What is the difficulty?

LAURA: I mean, I have a point in Charm.

NICK: How many points in Deception do you have?

LAURA: Two.

NICK: See. (laughs)

HUDSON: (laughing) I have 2 points in Deception, 0 in Charm.

CAMERON: Yeah. I have 2 in Deception, 1 in Charm.

NICK: I’m really glad that I did that no-look shot and was right.

CAMERON: But they’re both three dice! So Karma’s not that far off.

NICK: Okay. It’s gonna be two because Web-Web’s game for anything, but a black die because this is a weird suggestion. Roll it up.

HUDSON: A triumph and a threat, and the triumph has a success.

NICK: Right. You succeed. There’s a threat. I think the threat is that Web-Web is mildly suspicious, or just kind of concerned about you as a person. If that was your first thing, ‘Oh, right! We’re gonna raid this ship? Get on my back!’ That’s a weird thing. Do you have something for the triumph that you would want to do? You can also think about it, because we can cut away to the others.

HUDSON: Yeah, I can think about it. Can it come up a little bit later?

NICK: Yeah, but it’ll have to do with Web-Web riding your shoulders, be vaguely around that thing.

HUDSON: Got it.

NICK: Cool! That’s going on. We jump over to Karma and Xianna. You were able to connect the Afternoon Delight on the far side of the Mon Cal cruiser. There’s an auxiliary airlock to welcome you to the ship. We get an internal shot of white, well-lit hallways and then a slight shutter as your ships connect. We see you slide ungracefully through into the hallway through a flexible red chute. You land in the hallway. There are emergency claxons going in the distance. This ship is on high alert and you have boarded without permission. The hallway extends to either direction. From where the Gigoran YT2400 was parked you know that heading to the left towards the rest of the ship is probably in the correct direction if you’re aiming for Tink. Besides that, you’re currently going in blind. What do you do?

CAMERON: “Xianna, I’m gonna recommend you put your blaster on stun.”

LAURA: Oh. You turn around and Xianna’s eating a bantha cake. (laughter) She’s just like, both hands, doing the chipmunk thing. (mouth full) “Oh… Okay~!” Heh.

CAMERON: “Just thinking since we just saw the captain get shot down we may come under some friendly fire from the people who are supposed to be on this ship. Since I don’t think he gave us clearance before he was shot, I would prefer to not kill anyone.”

LAURA: “Should I not have brought the grenades?”

CAMERON: “Hold onto them, just don’t throw them at non-green Gigorans, I guess.”

LAURA: “Okie.” She smooshes the rest of the bantha cake in her mouth, crumples up the wrapper, tosses it over her shoulder, and then takes out her blaster and puts it to stun. Yes.

CAMERON: It sticks a little. It hasn’t been over there for a while. (laughs)

LAURA: Yeah, I’m sure her gun has that. She does do it so that Karma sees it. She’s like, “there,” and she does check a grenade, like “these don’t…?”

CAMERON: “Nope. Those don’t.”

LAURA: “No?” And puts it back. “Okay.” Heh.

CAMERON: Karma watches her do it while walking around her and picking up the trash that she just dropped. “Okay. Thanks.” She puts it in her pocket and she’s gonna throw it away later. (laughs)

LAURA: “They have droids for that!”

CAMERON: “Xianna! We’re guests!”

NICK: A little mouse droid goes buzzing by to where the wrapper was. You can see it’s smoking slightly. It makes a (“oh well” sounding motorized noise) and then speeds off really quick. Right now you have a hallway to the left and to the right. That’s all you can see. You can hear the sounds of combat and laser fire, and just general muckery I guess. It’s kind of hard to tell where it’s coming from, the ship is pretty echoey, but your hallway is currently empty.

CAMERON: You said Tink would be left?

NICK: Probably.

CAMERON: That is where the ship would be anyway.

NICK: Yeah. The ship is basically shaped like a giant cucumber. He was—

LAURA: (snickers)

NICK: Yup.

LAURA: (laughs)

NICK: Look up a Mon Cal cruiser.

CAMERON: Cats are terrified of it.

NICK: Yep. The Bothans don’t mess with the Mon Cal, because of their cucumber shaped ships. The GGG ship was in the top right corner of the ship and the auxiliary port that you were able to park in was in the bottom left corner of the ship. You’ve got a decent amount of ground to cover, but if you turn left that will head towards a majority of the ship. If your characters turn left… She’s making gestures at me like ‘Really?’ No, I promise. I drew it out.

CAMERON: (laughing) Alright. Well, I don’t know. If you had it drawn out—my brain’s not picturing it. But okay!

NICK: Cool. Whatcha doin’?

CAMERON: Turn on my com. “Hello…?”

LAURA: “Oh yeah. We have coms.”

CAMERON: “Tiiink?”

LAURA: “Tink?!”

NICK: We get a shot of Tink running down a hallway and peering around a corner with this acrobatic Gungan hanging off of his shoulders and leaning further around the corner and holding a pistol out. Your com goes off and you hear them calling you.

HUDSON: “Who is this?”

CAMERON: “It’s us!”

LAURA: “Tink! You know who this is!”

HUDSON: “Oh… Where are you?”

LAURA: “I don’t know…”

NICK: “Hey Tink, who are you talking to?”

HUDSON: “I don’t know yet. I think I’m gonna investigate.”

CAMERON: (laughs)

NICK: “Oh, okay. Well, just remember, our goal here is to kill as many as possible and get as much valuable product as possible back to the ship.”

CAMERON: “Tink. What? Who are you talking to?” (laughs)

LAURA: “Wait. Do you mean investigate where you are or where we are?”

HUDSON: “I’m gonna find you. … Where are you?”

CAMERON: (laughs)

LAURA: “I don’t know!”

NICK: “Yes Tink, tell us where they are. If you found any survivors we can go finish them off.”

CAMERON: “Tink, we’re in the bottom left corner?” (laughs) “Right? Right?”

NICK: The, uh… stern?

CAMERON: “Stern.”

NICK: Stern port side.

CAMERON: “Stern port side.”

NICK: Ships.

LAURA: “Yes. What she said.”

CAMERON: “We’re back behind you, buddy.”

HUDSON: “Wub-Nub, alright…” (snickering) “We need to get to the stern port side.”

LAURA: (quietly) “Who is Wub-Nub?”

CAMERON: “Tink, do you have someone else with you?”

HUDSON: “Oh yeah! I’m gonna find you!”

(laughter)

CAMERON: “Noted. Okay.”

LAURA: “What does that mean?”

NICK: “They sound fun. Let’s go cut their throats.” Web-Web is climbing up higher to see around corners more. From where you’re at, you’re in the hallway that recently led off of the ship. You come to a four-way intersection. There’s no signage or anything. Ooh! I should also mention this ship is super humid, it’s gross, because it was built by fish people.

CAMERON: Karma thinks it feels nice.

NICK: I’m sure that Karma does. At the four-way intersection that you’re at, Tink, you can pretty much see across the length of the ship. There are some bulkheads that have all been blown open, and you see straight to the far side of the ship some sort of cargo hold with a bunch of small safety deposit boxes all sunk into the walls and there’s five or six of the GGGs in there just busting stuff open and doing an inventory. To your right there’s another cargo hold that just has big storage crates in it. These look a lot more heavy but more valuable. You’re identifying big ship parts and server blocks and things like that, and some crates that usually hold raw materials, like big metal crates. There’s about five more of the GGGs in there. They’re starting to pick stuff up and carry it, because they’re gonna have to take multiple trips. This stuff is heavy. To your left you see a hallway that’s heading towards the stern of the ship, and you could go that way if you want. You also know that if you head to the far side of the ship, like that first safety deposit box kind of storage area, there’s probably more hallways and things that way that could lead you somewhere, just logically looking at how the ship is laid out. Where do you go?

HUDSON: The last option was far right?

NICK: Right is expensive heavy shit. Straight across the whole ship is small, probably valuable stuff that you have to break stuff open to get into. Those are both being robbed. Left is further into the ship. Those are kind of your options.

HUDSON: Oh okay. I thought there was a fourth. Yeah, left is further into the ship? I’m gonna do that.

NICK: Okay, so you’re gonna go that way… That’s gonna happen. I have this super cool layout, and I have real-time stuff that’s happening, but that means I have to move people when you make decisions, so that’s fun. That’s happening. Karma and Xianna, are you staying put? Are you gonna try to move towards Tink? It’s also possible you could find a map, potentially, if you patched in or something.

LAURA: Xianna’s gonna start walking towards… just further into the ship.

CAMERON: Towards the noises.

NICK & LAURA: Towards the noises.

NICK: Okay. Your hallway is pretty empty. You see on the far end you’re on the hallway that lines the edge of the ship, so you can see out into space, and in the far distance there’s a sealed bulkhead up ahead. It looks pretty heavy duty like it’s locked down. Very quickly you pass a small room with wood panel doors, and the door is cracked, and Xianna you catch that this is like valuables storage area. It’s the ship equivalent of a hotel safe that somebody didn’t shut. It’s got a lot of jewelry and fancy shiny things. So, you pass that.

LAURA: “Ooh! Um… Hold on a second. There might be a… a map, of the ship in here. I’m going to stop. Okay.”

CAMERON: Does Karma notice what type of room this is? (laughs)

NICK: Sure. Yeah.

CAMERON: Okay.

LAURA: Xianna’s already trying to open the door.

NICK: Oh, it just swings open.

CAMERON: Karma wants to grab the door and slam it shut.

NICK: (laughs)

CAMERON: Hoping that it locks itself.

LAURA: What would that be to see if Xianna’s already on the other side or not?

NICK: I’d take a Vigilance contest between the two of you of if you get through the door before she can shut it.

LAURA: For Willpower?

CAMERON: Yeah, to see how much we’re paying attention.

NICK: Vigilance? Yeah. That’s the initiative roll.

LAURA: Oh okay.

NICK: I was just saying, like, roll initiative. I guess you could do Cool. Either of those.

LAURA: I was thinking an Agility thing.

NICK: Well, just because it’s like a quick reaction thing, initiative makes sense to me for that. It’s also like just because she shuts the door doesn’t mean you have to give up on this if you’re dead-set on doing that instead of rescuing your friend.

CAMERON: Do you want to do Vigilance or Cool? We’ll just do the same one.

LAURA: I would do Cool.

CAMERON: Okay.

NICK: Yeah, Cool makes sense because Xianna’s like ‘hey, there’s this thing—‘ and then bolts for the door, and it’s whether she gets a step ahead of you or not.

LAURA: That is a triumph with a success and two more successes.

CAMERON: I just got a success and an advantage.

NICK: Okay. I was hoping for threats and things, but that makes no sense because it was an initiative roll.

CAMERON: Yeah, we didn’t roll any bad dice.

LAURA: Yeah, that’s why I said, like, do an actual check. Heh.

NICK: No, this works really well. So, by the time you see what’s going on Xianna is already standing in the middle of the room starting to peruse through stuff.

LAURA: I’m not perusing. I’m grabbing!

NICK: (laughs) Okay.

LAURA: If it is small enough to fit in the pockets, it’s going in the pockets. Heh.

NICK: Roll me a force die, would ya?

LAURA: One dark side.

NICK: Okay, so…

LAURA: It’ll be fine~ Especially if it’s shiny.

NICK: Oh, it’s extremely shiny. It is extremely shiny.

LAURA: Good. Please give me all of the terrible, terrible shiny things.

NICK: What happens is… You grab a bunch of necklaces and earrings, just the jewelry, it’s in those velvet display boxes just where you can all see. You grab a whole bunch of that stuff. The ship shutters, and the door shuts, and it makes that noise when you shut your hotel room door and it auto-locks. You are now in there. Karma, did you go in with her?

CAMERON: No…

NICK: (laughing) Okay, so you’re still out.

CAMERON: I was trying to swing—I guess I wouldn’t swing the door shut, because that’s not how Star Wars doors work—but I was trying to get the door to shut by the time I noticed she was in there.

LAURA: Trying to reach for the panel.

CAMERON: Yeah.

NICK: Mm-hmm. So, it’s shut. It’s actually just a swingy-openy-closey door. The way it shut it feels pretty heavy, so the wood paneling, it’s not just a wood door, but it’s not a swooshy door.

LAURA: Oh.

NICK: While that’s going on, we’re gonna jump back to Tink real quick. Tink, you and Web-Web are running down the hallway. Are you just sprinting down the middle? Are you walking carefully?

HUDSON: Sprinting down the middle.

NICK: Just (thud, thud, thud). I think Web-Web is riding you like a jockey at this point and at one point reaches down to slap your butt. “Yah! Go, go, go!” You come to a hallway, and immediately… Roll me a Cool check, please. Difficulty is gonna be average on this one.

HUDSON: Wash.

NICK: Total wash. You don’t have any Defense, do you?

HUDSON: No.

NICK: Could you roll me two yellows and a green at average difficulty, please?

HUDSON: A failure and two advantages.

NICK: Oh, you are so lucky. Okay. Two advantages isn’t enough to do what I want to do… A hail of stun bolts go flying past you. You’re able to duck behind a nearby bulkhead and grab some cover, but you’re still sticking out. It’s a hallway. There’s not a lot of cover here. You can see two blaster rifles kind of leaning around a corner from one of the what looks like passenger’s quarters, and you catch a view of what looks like a Gand. A Gand is a species in Star Wars that look like really terrifying chitinous bug people and are known to be deadly combatants and often extremely effective bounty hunters. They are shooting at you. So, yup, you’re gonna have to deal with that.

HUDSON: “Wub-Wub! What do we do?”

NICK: (laughs) Web-Web says, “… It’s Web-Web, and you said the whole point of this was for me to have a good shot, right? Get me where I can shoot them.”

HUDSON: I take them with one arm and lean back like I’m about to throw a football pass, and I throw them at the Gand.

(quiet giggling)

NICK: Okay. Make me an Athletics check? You know, it’s weird, the player handbook doesn’t mention what kind of skill you use for chucking other characters.

HUDSON: Well, and I still have that triumph that I can use for more accuracy, right? Can I do like a blue die for that?

NICK: Sure. You can have two blue dice for a triumph. That’s pretty in line with what I’ve used those for in the past.

LAURA: This is not the Lord of the Rings RPG.

NICK: Yeah. (laughs) ‘Gonna have to toss me!’

(chuckling)

HUDSON: Difficulty?

NICK: That’s gonna be hard.

HUDSON: One success and two threats.

NICK: Okay. We get this shot of Tink throwing Web-Web, and Web-Web is extremely graceful and lithe—I’ve used that word before, but it works really well. They’re skinny but also strong and flexible. It’s like in pool when you aim for a different wall to get the ball to bounce, because they’re hidden in this short hallway leading into this room, so you throw them at the far wall. Web-Web flips in the air, lands with their feet, draws their knives, and disappears around the corner, and you just start hearing fist fighting noises and you don’t see anyone for a while. Web-Web comes running back out and you can see blood—Gands have green blood I think, because they’re ammonia based…

LAURA: Sure!

NICK: I think it’s green… I don’t wanna Google “what color is Gand blood.” That’s gonna get me on a watch list.

HUDSON: (laughs)

CAMERON: Do it.

LAURA: I think they do, but I also enjoy that my phone is at a point where if I try to go to Wikipedia it assumes I’m going to Wookipedia and it takes me there instead. Heh. The first one that pops up is starwars.wikia.com/wiki/willrow_hood

NICK: (laughs)

LAURA: That’s what I always click because it pops up.

NICK: Biology and Appearance… It doesn’t say! Ack. Way to suck. I’m sure there is a canon answer. We’re gonna say they bleed green. That’s more fun. So, Web-Web’s knives are dripping with green blood. “Okay! Go, go, go! I got one of them!” And they take off down the hallway past. Do you follow them?

HUDSON: Yes.

NICK: Okay, then you see one of the Gands is just eviscerated and there’s another one standing over them, and they look up as you go past. You continue running down that hallway. Let’s jump back to karma and Xianna here.

LAURA: Xianna is stuffing things in her pockets as the door closes and just does the turnaround while still grabbing and pushing into a pocket. “Oh no! The door closed! Um… Oopsies!”

CAMERON: “I don’t think I can hack this door to get you out.” (laughs)

LAURA: “Um…”

CAMERON: “It’s not my strength.”

LAURA: “Okay! Hold on a second!” And she grabs one more thing, shoves it in her pocket, and then goes over. Is there a door panel on this side?

NICK: Yeah. It would be Skulduggery to crack a door open. It’s not really Computers, this is just how doors work in Star Wars.

LAURA: How doors work? Yeah. She’s gonna then try to open the door. She doesn’t have any fun things like Tink does.

CAMERON: Skulduggle your way out?

LAURA: Yes.

NICK: The door is average, but I think you’ll have a black die because it’s not really supposed to be unlocked from the inside.

LAURA: Ha-ha! Bypass Security!

NICK: Ohh~!

LAURA: Almost like you knew that and did that so that I had something to do.

CAMERON: (giggles)

NICK: … Nope.

CAMERON: (smiling) Look at us, using our talents.

NICK: Definitely didn’t delete a conversation from the episode I was editing today where someone pointed out that they’ve never gotten to remove a black die from a skill check. Nope-nope. That didn’t happen.

LAURA: Yep.

CAMERON: (chuckles)

NICK: ‘You must read the ancient runes~!’

LAURA: That’s a triumph with its success, three more successes, and a threat.

NICK: So, with the threat and some of the other threats that have happened, the claxon alarm for border starts going off in your quadrant of the ship. We get Karma just tapping her foot outside the door, and then suddenly it starts going WOOP, WOOP, WOOP. The door slides open and we see Xianna standing there, looking… I don’t know. How does she look?

LAURA: She’s just smiling. She’s like, “The door is open!”

CAMERON: “Yup. Okay, come out and close it again. Pretend we weren’t here.”

LAURA: “Okie.”

NICK: With your triumph, you see one more thing.

LAURA: One more shiny? Heh.

NICK: Yeah. Tucked around a corner in a dusty case you see something that looks really, really interesting and you grab that real quick on the way out.

LAURA: Yeah. As she’s walking out she grabs it, shoves it in a pocket, and then closes the door behind her.

NICK: Yeah~ I’m just keeping a loot list for Xianna. I figured she was the only one that I would actually need a loot list for, but the ship does have a bunch of stuff on it. There’s a reason the GGGs targeted it. So, you’re back in the hallway.

CAMERON: We close the door.

LAURA: We closed the door!

NICK: You closed the door. Xianna looks wistfully at the fact that the door has locked and sealed again and then is ready to go. Where do you head?

CAMERON: “Continue down the hallway?”

LAURA: “Yes. I did not find a map.”

CAMERON: “Shocking.”

LAURA: “Uh, sorry~! Oops.”

NICK: You continue down the hallway. You come to an intersection. About 40 yards in front of you there is a pretty heavy duty sealed bulkhead, but at the intersection to your right the hallway changes. Before it was very Apple Corporation design, so a little bit of chrome, a lot of white enamel everywhere. This hallway goes to—

CAMERON: Android.

NICK: Yeah, kind of, like gray durasteel military finish, crisscrossed, looks like it may head towards the bridge would be your best bet. Which direction would you like to go?

CAMERON: “Let’s turn.”

LAURA: “Okay. Yes. I would also pick the direction that does not require hacking.”

CAMERON: “yes.”

NICK: Okay. You head down that hallway, and… Coordination checks from both of you, please, at hard difficulty. If you have Stalker you should get some blue dice there.

LAURA: Yes!

NICK: I know that one. That’s what it is. When I made that rune joke, Laura, it’s because when you pick up the dice tray it’s like when someone peers at a cup for reading tea leaves. (laughs)

HUDSON: (laughs)

LAURA: Yes.

NICK: Rotate it to look at it.

LAURA: Three successes and two advantages.

NICK: Wow.

CAMERON: Three successes and one advantage.

NICK: Okay. You both poke your heads around the corner and you hear the whine of servos and the charging of lasers. You both look up and see two auto-turrets in the ceiling focus on you, and right before they shot you just step back behind the wall. You are being agile and alert and you have no problems. You both did well enough if you want to like backflip behind the wall or something.

CAMERON: Yeah!

LAURA: Yes. I’m also just realizing that I had done impact right before we got on this ship.

NICK: Ohh.

LAURA: So that would have upped everything. It’s fine.

CAMERON: Because she hasn’t failed yet.

LAURA: Because I haven’t failed! So we’ll just keep moving.

NICK: It was like a bad batch, so it’s just now kicking in.

LAURA: yes.

CAMERON: It kicked in when you were on the gunnery bay, and then you were like wow that wore off fast, but now it’s back!

LAURA: It’s back!

NICK: Yeah. They cut it with something. There was a little bit too much baking soda in there maybe. Blue baking soda, because impact is blue.

LAURA: Is it?

CAMERON: Is it? I thought that was booster blue that’s blue.

LAURA: I thought it was white.

NICK: Oh no. We’ve had this conversation. I always imagined it was blue. I imagined it like crushed up rock candy.

LAURA: Like meth.

NICK: Yeah.

LAURA: I imagined it like cocaine.

CAMERON: Yeah.

NICK: Okay, fine, it’s not blue. So yeah, you are around the corner of the hallway. It turned 90 degrees. You did get a chance since you were so successful to see a door that is open, a sealed bulkhead, and it clearly is the bridge, and there is something going on back there. You can hear scuffling and stuff, but you have to deal with these two turrets. What do you do?

CAMERON: Is there a computer console anywhere near here?

NICK: You can see one that’s in the hallway within the line of sight.

CAMERON: Hmm. I don’t want that one.

NICK: And you passed some that are further back, but right where you are, no, but there are ways around this. How do you solve the problem of the automatic turrets?

LAURA: Xianna puts her hand in her pocket, and when she pulls it out she’s holding her grenade. “So, I have grenades.”

CAMERON: Are they on the ceiling?

NICK: Yeah. The blast radius will probably take one out. These things explode pretty big.

LAURA: Also, I believe you can set grenades to either have a timer or to explode on impact, so if I aim at it and hit it would explode even if it’s on the ceiling.

NICK: Yup. Just tactically it’s the question of if you want to throw a grenade in this ship or not.

LAURA: “So, I actually have, uh, four grenades. We could both throw one. I don’t know how good you are at the throwing.”

CAMERON: “I’m not sure either, honestly.” (laughs)

NICK: It’s ranged, light.

CAMERON: Oh. Hmm. You know, if we can weigh the grenade down with a few rocks to get that to ranged, heavy I’d be better at it. (laughs)

LAURA: I have ranged, light. Two green, two yellow.

CAMERON: “I don’t know if I really want to go blowing up the ship that we’re trying to help, though.”

LAURA: “Okay, but I don’t want to get shot either. So, I mean…”

CAMERON: We’re at the corner. When we peeked around the corner we could see into the bridge? There’s at least something there?

NICK: Yeah.

CAMERON: We know it’s not the captain, because they done got shot.

LAURA: “I mean, I think a grenade would just solve all these problems.”

CAMERON: “Yeah. If the person who is on the bridge right now is one of the people who is supposed to be on the ship—“

LAURA: “Okay. (shouting) ‘Ello, person on the bridge! Heh. Are you a Mon Cal?!”

NICK: You hear a strangled gurgling noise for a second, and then you hear, “Oh yeah, I’m a Mon Cal. Me and my friends here we still control the bridge. Come on over.”

CAMERON: “You know, we’d love to, but there are turrets.”

NICK: “Well, we have the lockdown procedures activated. You’ll just have to get past those. We wouldn’t want those pirates to make it to the bridge.”

LAURA: Xianna just looks over at Karma…

CAMERON: (whispering) “Xianna, that’s the pirates!” (laughs)

LAURA: …and is moving her arm back, and is doing the whole like ‘I’m gonna throw this,’ and is waiting for the approval. Her arm is way back behind her.

CAMERON: Karma nods and ducks around the corner.

LAURA: And Xianna throws the grenade!

NICK: Are you throwing it into the bridge or at the turrets?

LAURA: This one is gonna be at the turrets. Ah, that’s an Agility, so I get three yellow and a green. What is the difficulty?

NICK: Wow. I’d say you’re at medium range, so two.

LAURA: I’m gonna aim.

NICK: Okay. … Well—Hmm.

LAURA: I already did it!

CAMERON: Too late!

NICK: Okay…

HUDSON: Didn’t matter.

CAMERON: In a good way or bad way, Hudson?

HUDSON: Like, the blue die is what came up nothing.

LAURA: The blue die wasn’t anything, but thanks to drugs, yay, I have a triumph with a success, two more successes, and a threat.

CAMERON: Have you done any rolls that haven’t had a triumph in them today?

LAURA: Nope! (giggles)

CAMERON: Okay. Cool. Just checking.

NICK: Sheesh.

CAMERON: I was pretty sure that’s how it was working.

NICK: The only thing is since you aimed that means you leaned around the corner and took a second, so I think it’s gonna get to shoot at you, but you definitely throw the grenade. With the triumph do you want to take both out with one grenade?

LAURA: Yes. I don’t have advantages, but I had a triumph. The frag grenade is 8 damage, blast is pretty much anything around it also gets the blast plus successes. So yeah, I would use the triumph to take out the other one.

NICK: Yeah. You throw it. You lean around the corner, you heft it, you make sure that your throw is gonna be good, and then the turrets lock on you. You throw, and they shoot at the same moment. Can you make me a—

LAURA: I would like to use my Dodge!

NICK: What a great idea.

LAURA: I have one rank in Dodge, so I’m gonna take 1 Strain to upgrade the difficulty of being attacked by that number.

NICK: Okay. it was gonna be average, so now it’ll be hard, and it’s against three green. Do you have ranged defense? I can never remember.

LAURA: I do. I have one ranged, one melee.

CAMERON: Upgrading the difficulty would take it to a red, right? Not increasing the difficulty?

NICK: Upgrading makes it a red, increasing—

CAMERON: To upgrade the difficulty of the attack.

LAURA: Upgrade the ability is…

NICK: It makes it a yellow.

CAMERON: Yeah, so it’s not hard, it’s a purple and a red.

LAURA: Increase versus upgrade.

NICK: So it’s a purple and a red now.

LAURA: And how many green?

NICK: Three.

LAURA: Three green, and I get a black for my defense…

NICK: Ooh.

LAURA: That’s three successes, but also three threats.

NICK: Okay…

CAMERON: The turrets fall prone… (dramatic bass noise) …as they explode, and fall from the ceiling. (laughs)

NICK: (laughing) So yeah, the grenade blows out their hinges and they fall and explode. What we’ll do with those three threats is actually the turret spins around in the force of the explosion and fires randomly into the bridge for a little bit before they finish shorting out. You are going to take… It was three successes?

LAURA: Three successes!

NICK: That’s 8 damage coming your way.

LAURA: Okay! (laughs)

NICK: That’s kind of a lot. You get…

CAMERON: How much do you soak?

LAURA: Oh yeah, I have Soak. I soak 2, so I take 6 damage.

NICK: Ooh.

CAMERON: That’s better than 8!

NICK: Yeah.

LAURA: I have some stim packs, for this reason!

NICK: You blew it up, those fall down, they shoot randomly into the bridge, and you take a shot. What does that look like, you getting shot?

LAURA: I think what happens is I hit them with the grenades and one of them hits the floor and bounces and gets a shot off and hits me in the shoulder.

CAMERON: So one of them turns and shoots the bridge, the other one just remains locked on Xianna as it falls.

NICK: (laughs) Yeah. It shoots while in mid-air. We get the slow motion heartbeat noise, but it’s mechanical so it sounds like an EKG machine, and then it shoots you. It hits you in the shoulder, spins you around, but you manage to catch yourself on the wall. You get kind of a scorch mark and a trickle of blood, it’s very dramatic, and the turrets are gone. You hear someone from the bridge call, ‘Hey! Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot! What are you doing?”

LAURA: “Oh fuck.”

CAMERON: I wanna sneaky to the door of the bridge.

NICK: Like with Stealth?

CAMERON: Yeah, like not have them see me as I come down the hallway. (laughs)

NICK: Okay. Yeah.

CAMERON: Due to all of the smoke caused by the grenade.

NICK: Mm-hmm. You can have a blue die because of all the smoke from the grenade. It is going to be a hard check.

CAMERON: “Xianna, are you okay?”

LAURA: “Um, well I have a hole in my jacket now, and that is not ideal… but I brought some stim packs!”

CAMERON: “Alright, so you’re good.”

LAURA: “Also, if you need one—“ Xianna would reach in and use a stim pack.

NICK: I feel like Karma’s the one that has the diaper bag of health snacks, but—(laughs)

CAMERON: ‘Do you need any baby wipes?’

LAURA: ‘… No.’

NICK: (laughs)

CAMERON: ‘I have some crackers.’

LAURA: My pockets go on forever. There’s a lot of stuff in here. (laughs) I also have a surveillance tagger. That would’ve been a thing I could’ve used.

NICK: Did you get that at the black market?

LAURA: No, I bought that at the start, and for some reason have never used it.

NICK: Oh. I feel like there’s been several times where you needed to follow somebody where that would have been…

LAURA: yeah, that would have been…

NICK: (laughs)

LAURA: I’m sure it’s just behind something and one day Xianna will pull it out and go, ‘Oh! I have this.’

NICK: You gave Tink such a hard time about his life sign tracker.

HUDSON: yeah.

CAMERON: Uh, his motion-detecting motion detector.

NICK: Yeah. It detects motion detectors.

CAMERON: Yeah. Alright, I actually get three blue dice, because one for the smoke and two more for Stalker. I got a triumph and three advantages, but no successes.

NICK: Huh.

CAMERON: Yeah.

NICK: So… I think you just crouch walk your way up to the doorway and lean into it. I’ll let you pass a Perception check to just kind of see what’s in the room. There are five people in the room. You see a Gigoran that’s a pleasant clover color. You see two Humans wearing heavy body armor and heavy repeating blasters. They have blasters strapped to their backs and they’re typing away on some of the ship’s computers. You see the smoking corpse of the Mon Cal captain that you recognize just kind of sprawled over the captain’s chair. You also see a Zabrak man with an orange complexion, and he’s wearing one of the ship uniforms and is just kind of standing over to the side looking anxious, and he’s got a light blaster on his hip. You failed, so the Gigoran sees you. He looks a lot like Tink, actually.

CAMERON: But green.

NICK: But green, kind of a giveaway. He says, ‘Hey. Thank you for helping take care of that security system. If you wanna come in here real quick we can talk this through about how we’re gonna repel these borders.” You can see he actually has a cruise captain’s hat stuck on his head at a jaunty angle, so he’s still going for that.

CAMERON: I’m gonna whisper into my coms. “Hey Tink, we’re at the bridge.”

HUDSON: “Oh, uh, okay… Um, the bridge, um…”

CAMERON: “The big green guy is here too.”

HUDSON: “Oh. I saw them earlier. Okay. I’m headed that—I’m gonna getcha!”

(laughter)

NICK: Tink, from in front of you Web-Web calls back, “Yeah, just make sure they stay intimidated. I think we should head towards the bridge. I think it’s this way.” They go running around a corner. What did you want to use your triumph on? You also get the feeling that something is probably gonna go down in here, so if you want to use it to give yourself an advantage leading up to it that could be good. Right now no one’s touching their guns. They’re just saying hey, come in here, let’s make a plan.

CAMERON: So you said Ziller’s in there, two Humans, and then the Zabrak looks like he belongs on the ship?

NICK: Yeah. He’s wearing a uniform, but no one’s paying him any attention.

CAMERON: Can the two Humans be by one of the control panels that may have a faulty wire in it, so if it gets shot it might explode?

NICK: Oh yeah. Absolutely. You notice that.

CAMERON: I notice that. It’s sparking a little bit underneath where your legs would go if you sat in it, and I can see it.

NICK: Works for me. That’s the situation. You’re posted up by the door. You’re half in cover, but everyone knows you’re there. Xianna, you’re still back around the corner.

LAURA: I’m behind the corner, but I would like to sneak up. Which side of the door are we on? If I was to sneak up would I be able to be on the other side of the doorway as Karma or would I have to be on the same side as her?

NICK: You could go to the other side. There’s a decent size bulk head and it’s smoky. You could potentially get up to there without being seen, but it would take some sort of check of your skills.

LAURA: Xianna pulls on her scanner goggles so that she can see better in the shadows. I’m assuming that would be a Stealth?

NICK: Absolutely that would be a Stealth. You get a blue die because it’s smoky.

CAMERON: Stalk the hell out of that.

NICK: We’ll leave it hard, but a black die because now everyone’s looking at this door. I should just keep adding dice to this dice pool.

(laughter)

CAMERON: Laura’s hands aren’t that big. She can’t hold any more.

LAURA: Okay, so two successes and seven advantages! Heh.

NICK: What do you even use seven advantages for? Okay, you pass, you’re stuck up to the door, you’re a ghost. No one knows you’re there. You have a clear view of the room. You’ve seen everything that Karma’s seen. You even note that the panel that they’re trying to take control of, the reason it’s kind of exploded looking is that they cracked into the electrics of it to try to get past the security, some sort of hardware block, so they destabilized it themselves. You see that as well. If you wanted to create an explosion of some kind you could. You are up against the door. The Gigoran captain is saying, “Hey. Just come in here. Come on. You’re making me nervous leaning up against that wall here. Let’s talk this out.”

At this point Web-Web comes running in from the other door. Tink, do you follow Web-Web?

HUDSON: I follow them. Yeah. Absolutely.

NICK: Okay. You’re running, and you can actually see that the hallway you were going down leads a majority of the length of the ship, and that there’s another one of those big military bulkheads that just says Detachment on it, which is weird. Yellow paint, looks kind of scrambly. You turn the corner and you find yourself standing on the bridge, and you see Ziller the green Gigoran, two members of the GGG, and a Zabrak man you haven’t seen before, and they’re all focused the other way. Web-Web walks in and says “Alright Ziller, we’re here. We’ve killed a couple of people. There may be someone following us. What’s next?”

“We’ve got some people here trying to help us retake the ship, so as long as this Nautolan comes in we can talk through it.”

CAMERON: While Ziller is turned to acknowledge Web-Web slightly, I get Xianna’s attention by waving at her slightly and point towards the explodey bit for her and then point at me and aim my gun at Ziller, so we will divide and conquer. Then I take aim.

NICK: Okay. When you start aiming at him, because you can see him, he’s like “Whoa, whoa!” He takes the hat and throws it and it lands on the corpse of the captain. “Alright. I guess these are the marines. Someone told me they were stormtroopers.”

CAMERON: I shoot him.

LAURA: “Okie! Heh.”

NICK: You get ready to shoot. “I thought these were stormtroopers.” You can see he’s making a motion, ‘I’ll just take you out,’ and you begin to hear the stomp of booted feet in the hallway behind you. Tink, you’re standing in the room, you see all this happen and you also hear the stomp of booted feet behind you and some more blaster fire. You all take aim to shoot… and that’s where we’re gonna end the episode~

CAMERON: Ba-naaa~!

OTHERS: Ba-naaa~!

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you’ve enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show and give the squad warm fuzzies when we read them.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson, and he can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @Tabletop_Squad. For real, we’re real people and we want to talk to anyone who listens to the show. Reach out! See you next time.