Tabletop Squadron Transcript, Season 1 Episode 38:
High Tea and Tight Spaces

Transcript by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)

## Intro

NICK: Hi everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. I’m Nick, your game master. Every other Thursday our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, and a slicer as they explore the galaxy helping a mysterious benefactor and each other.

Okay. As this episode releases, we are currently at GenCon. Hopefully everything is going awesome and we’re recording our panel as well as recording an arc for the show with an awesome guest. If you are a Patron and you weren’t able to see us, reach out to us on Twitter or our Discord and we’d be happy to send you some of our GenCon stickers.

Music this week is Hustle by Kevin MacLeod under Creative Commons 4.0 license.

Now let’s get into the episode.

##

NICK: Hello! Welcome to Episode 38 of Tabletop Squadron. I’m your host and game master, Nick. You are coming in at the tail end of about 20 minutes of us being distracted and not starting the episode, so let’s just keep that energy going, shall we?

LAURA: No.

NICK: No? Okay great.

CAMERON: Lies. Lies and slander.

NICK: [laughs] Well, we’re gonna go around the table. Everybody introduce your character, and if you spent any experience from the last time we played why don’t you just go ahead and let the listener know what you spent it on. We’re gonna start with Laura this time, because she interrupted me. Laura?

LAURA: Hi, I’m Laura, and I play Xianna’fan, a Twi’lek smuggler, slash thief slash scoundrel… yeah. I got to another Dedication, so I now have a 5 in Cunning.

NICK: Oh wow. Okay. That’s good. Up next we’ve got Hudson.

HUDSON: Hi! I’m Hudson, and I play Tink, a Gigoran slicer, and aspiring medical doctor.

[laughter]

NICK: Did you spend any experience?

HUDSON: Yes. I have a lot of experience, because I’ve been hoarding it, however I didn’t really have a purpose until today when I figured out I wanted to do two things on my skill tree. I did Improved Defensive Slicing, which is Defensive Slicing now upgrades opponent’s difficulty once per rank of Defensive Slicing, this replaces the usual benefits, and Bypass Security, remove one black die per rank of Bypass Security from checks made to disable a security device or open a locked door, which is super valuable to me. I also upped my Computers skill to Level 4, because I needed that of course.

[laughter]

NICK: Great. Sounds good. Last but not least, we’ve got Cameron.

CAMERON: Hello. I am Cameron, and I am playing Karma Nailo, a Nautolan bounty hunter. I bought one talent on my Skip Tracer tree, and it is Hard Boiled, which I already had one rank of so now I believe I have two ranks in it. When I’m recovering strain after an encounter I can spend advantages up to ranks in Hard Boiled to recover 1 wound per advantage.

NICK: Wonderful. Before we get into the recap and everything, let’s do the Destiny Roll~!

CAMERON: Two light side!

LAURA: Two light side.

HUDSON: One dark side.

CAMERON: Hudson!

NICK: You were so close.

HUDSON: I know…

NICK: [laughs] Alright. Before we started recording, we were talking through what happened last time.

CAMERON: What did happen last time, Nick? [laughs]

NICK: So, here’s what I’ve got…

LAURA: [laughing] I’m still not entirely sure.

NICK: [smiling] yeah… Last time the crew managed to transfer their bill to an Imperial account so that they didn’t have to pay for their stay at the resort. They chased down a thief named Isaac **Vars who was working for the Black Sun, supposedly under duress, and had stolen the outlaw data breaker from Tink. You got into a gunfight in a tiki bar taking out several gang members. Am I missing anything?

CAMERON: Karma and Xianna kept sending love interests each other’s way, during their fun bar time.

LAURA: Xianna has a girlfriend now!

NICK: Xianna has a girlfriend. That’s very good. You took a gun from someone and put it in your mom bag, Karma.

CAMERON: Yes. I think we kept Isaac’s blaster. I have an unconscious Black Sun lady, and unconscious Black Sun—I almost said Gigoran, they’re not Gigoran—Gamorrean, and then another one that’s dead.

NICK: Yup, so a nice, relaxing vacation for everybody, I guess.

CAMERON: And we ruined the tiki bar. [laughs]

NICK: It’s a little shot up. Honestly, you had a lot less collateral damage than I was expecting. I was like, I’m gonna spend all my threats on you destroying this place, and you didn’t actually have that many for me to play with, so good job all of you.

HUDSON: All-inclusive means all-inclusive. [laughter] That’s all I have to say. We are not getting charged for this.

CAMERON: We saved everyone.

NICK: Sure.

CAMERON: Our bartender friend knows. **Gangem knows.

NICK: **Gangem knows. If only there was something you might need, like, a discount for, or something like that.

CAMERON: Yeah. I don’t want to give the Imperials a discount.

LAURA: yeah, we don’t need a discount anymore. Isn’t Falx paying for it?

NICK: Someone’s paying for it.

CAMERON: The account that used to be Falx’s is paying for it.

LAURA: The account formerly known as Falx’s account.

HUDSON: Yeah, because we’re not sure if he’s alive.

LAURA: Are we?

NICK: No, we had this conversation last episode, or two episodes ago.

CAMERON: I don’t remember~

LAURA: He’s both alive and dead.

NICK: Yes, it’s Schrödinger’s Falx. You all are not sure. The last you saw him he was getting chased by an Imperial Inspector, and you met Mills, and Mills didn’t know. So yeah, it’s just kind of a nebulous… who knows, going on.

CAMERON: It’s a mystery.

NICK: So, let’s jump into it. How about that? Sound good?

HUDSON: Yes.

LAURA: Sure.

CAMERON: Yes.

NICK: We open on the idyllic city of Thrinaka nestled in the gorgeous tropical seas of the planet Sesid. You haven’t been at this resort very long, but you have made your impression. Everyone name one way that the place has visibly changed since the crew arrived.

CAMERON: Besides the tiki bar?

NICK: Besides the tiki bar.

CAMERON: [laughs]

LAURA: Oh. There’s a big holo-photo in one of the hallways that says “Volleyball Tournament Champions,” whatever year it is, of us.

CAMERON: With all of us holding our mug, with Nugget on fosh’s stepstool. John’s not in the picture.

NICK: The year is -1 BBY, which is really weird because if it’s BBY you don’t know.

CAMERON: [laughs] How did they tell time, then?

LAURA: There is an actual calendar, but…

NICK: There’s a Republic calendar, but who cares. It doesn’t matter. Also, technically, in the original trilogy there’s no way to tell how much time passes within movies or even within scenes, so there’s a lot of debate about that. Doesn’t matter. Anyway. Okay, so there’s a hall of fame championship photo. It’s very apparent from the photo that your team took it a lot more seriously than the other people who won. A lot of those teams have small children or they look impatient to get off. Someone has a bottle of champagne they’re spraying everywhere in your photo, probably Tink, spraying everybody with champagne. It’s very good. What else we got?

HUDSON: I have this special chair that’s by the pool that it kind of just pans over to, and it’s one of those pool side chairs that’s striped with plastic pieces and there’s an indent from me laying on it for a long period of time, and there’s hair kind of throughout the whole chair and on the ground, and no one’s bothered to clean it up yet. It’s just kind of gross, but I don’t see it that way. It just smells like wet Gigoran.

NICK: Which I think smells like popcorn.

HUDSON: I think it smells like wet dog, but a little sweeter.

CAMERON: I think we’ve established it smells like wet dog.

NICK: Yeah… What’s the animal that smells like popcorn on Earth?

CAMERON: Oh! They have giant eyes.

NICK: I thought for sure Laura would have that pull.

LAURA: Um!

CAMERON: I learned about them on Zoboomafoo!

NICK: Yeah, me too.

LAURA: Well, a beaver’s butt is vanilla, or raspberry..

NICK: What?!

HUDSON: Really?

LAURA: Yeah. There’s some beaver gland that vaguely smells like something and has been used for artificial flavors, I think.

CAMERON: It’s a binturong! It’s a bearcat!

NICK: Yeah, that’s it.

HUDSON: Ohh.

CAMERON: They smell like popcorn!

NICK: Okay, but Tink smells bad, and the chair smells bad.

CAMERON: Well, everyone just learned something from National Geographic. You’re welcome.

NICK: You’re welcome. Educational. Time to change which part of iTunes our podcast is on.

CAMERON: [laughs]

LAURA: We are an educational now!

HUDSON: [chuckles] We are an educational now.

NICK: We are an educational. She stands by what she said.

LAURA: Yeah.

CAMERON: I think on one side of the resort that had been previously undeveloped they’ve started construction on an adult sized slide complex that also has oil baths and stuff for droids.

NICK: Nice. I think next to the kiddy play pool area, the sign that says “You must be under 10 years of age” is scratched out and says “You must be this high” with a line, because one of the slides is broken and a weirdly Tink-shaped outline is blown through the side of one of the slides, and there’s a very grumpy looking Trandoshan lifeguard just shaking his head slowly at the broken slide.

HUDSON: So Xianna can go there most of the time, if you have to be that high.

CAMERON: [laughs] Oh gosh.

NICK: Yeah, potentially.

LAURA: Yep. That’s how that works.

NICK: So, it’s around lunch time yet again. What is everyone doing?

LAURA: Sleeping.

HUDSON: I’m eating a burger from the buffet.

NICK: Are you at the buffet or did you take it and walk off with it?

HUDSON: I’m at the buffet. I’m not fitting in the chair real well.

NICK: [chuckles]

CAMERON: Karma’s researching on the holonet to see where the closest bounty hunter office is.

NICK: I think that Thrinaka itself does not have a bounty office, but they will send a paddy wagon from a nearby facility to come and pick up a bounty if you say you’ve got one here.

CAMERON: Okay. We’ll say as we were going up to our room last night Karma stopped by the concierge desk to let them know that she needed a—

HUDSON: Wells Fargo wagon.

CAMERON: She needed a Wells Fargo wagon order.

LAURA: No… Don’t do this to me.

[laughter]

CAMERON: Because she had some bounties that she needed to hand off. And then she requested—they probably have a morgue, because shit happens while you’re on vacation, so we drop the dead guy off in the morgue.

NICK: It’s just the deep freezer where they keep all the ice cream.

CAMERON: Yeah, it’s fine.

HUDSON: [laughing] They probably have a morgue, like most all-inclusive resorts.

CAMERON: Exactly! You know.

NICK: Actually, to be fair, it would not surprise me if—maybe not an all-inclusive resort—but if a cruise ship didn’t have a couple of morgue drawers just in case.

LAURA: I’m pretty sure they do.

CAMERON: Yeah.

NICK: Yeah. Gotta put them somewhere.

CAMERON: So, same thing. They probably also have surgeons and stuff on staff, because it’s kind of remote and things go wrong, and then take the two still living Black Sun members up to our suite and just lock them up, still handcuffed. Get them some good breakfast, you know.

NICK: They’re handcuffed. We get a shot of the Gamorrean, still handcuffed, sitting in the hot tub in the spare bedroom just chilling out, and the leader of this group angrily standing by the door trying to figure out how to set an ambush for you all, and she’s verbally chewing out the Gamorrean for relaxing. “You know we’re going to go to jail, right? Can’t you help me break down this door?”

“Well, it’s pretty comfy, though. This is nice. Eat an omelet before it gets cold. They slid them under the door.”

So, that’s happening. We get a quick shot a little bit later in the day of a speeder with a large person carrier on the back, and a Dug and a Human jump out. Karma has her two captured prizes, I guess–

CAMERON: Bounties.

NICK: –bounties, out in front of—

CAMERON: Even if they’re bad guys, they’re not prizes to be won.

NICK: We watched Aladdin recently.

CAMERON: [giggling] Multiple times, in multiple different versions.

NICK: Too many times. Yeah, you’ve got your bounties and they’re being led in. The Dug says “Hey, I’m Wells, this is Fargo.”

CAMERON: [snickers] yeah!

NICK: “We can offer you 1,000 Credits for these two bounties. If you have proof of any others that you killed, we’ll take that too.”

CAMERON: “Oh, here you go.” She hands over the Black Sun patch that she put in her purse and then shows a picture of the dead guy on the morgue table.

NICK: “Fargo, go get the corpse out of the fridge, would you? I’ll watch these two.” So, they give you 1,000 Credits. Normally it would be more, but you’re not sure what these people’s rank were or really what the big job they were doing was, just the small one, and also you’re paying for delivery from Wells and Fargo, so that’s happening.

CAMERON: Eh, it’s fine.

NICK: Now, a small warning to you as a group. Imagine this is like a final save point in the video game where you save and it says ‘Are you sure you want to continue?’ If there’s anything you want to take care of on Sesid, now would be the time.

LAURA: How many health potions are lying around?

NICK: Like, four.

LAURA: How many jars are just on the floor?

NICK: It’s the standard double road at either side of the door.

LAURA: Okay.

NICK: There’s extra ammunition, all of that. [laughing] Was there anything else you wanted to do on Sesid?

LAURA: Do the doors say ‘don’t dead, open inside’?

[laughter]

NICK: No, they don’t. They’re bigger than every other door you’ve seen this whole time and very clearly different, even though they don’t seem to lead anywhere important. There’s a glowing circle on the floor. You know, standard.

LAURA: It asks you if you really wanna open the door.

NICK: Yeah. Exactly that.

CAMERON: Check your party members.

HUDSON: [laughs] I go buy a pair of sunglasses that are SO extra. Can someone else describe the sunglasses?

[laughter]

LAURA: They are bright red, and they are that super elongated vintage cat eye, so they flair out on the outside. They have rhinestones all over them probably in some sort of shape as well, like they spell out ‘flirty.’

CAMERON: I think the front of them is the red, but I think the… earpieces?

NICK: Stands.

CAMERON: Stands?

NICK: The part that holds your glasses up is called a stand. I know this.

CAMERON: Nifty. They are an animal print, though.

NICK: And rhinestones.

CAMERON: Obviously the rhinestones continue, but they just switch to animal print.

HUDSON: These may never leave my face.

CAMERON: Good.

NICK: Heh. Wow. Okay. So are they like the overlarge movie starlet ones that flair out horn rim style, or are they like the big bug eye ones?

CAMERON: Cat eye.

LAURA: They flair out, yeah.

CAMERON: So not bug eye. Yeah.

NICK: So that’s what cat eye means. Okay.

HUDSON: Does Elton John have similar glasses?

NICK: Most likely.

LAURA: He just has many.

CAMERON: Elton John has everything glasses, so yes.

NICK: Heh. He simultaneously wears all types of sunglasses at the same time.

HUDSON: [singing] ‘I remember when rock was young—‘

NICK: That’s the song you choose?

LAURA: No, we’ll get sued!

[laughter]

HUDSON: Suddenly there’s a takedown notice on iTunes.

NICK: Okay. There wasn’t anything else you all wanted to do on your fancy resort planet?

CAMERON: [smiling] Is there anything else we wanted to do?

HUDSON: We’ve done a lot of things, y’all.

LAURA: Xianna keeps pushing to get matching tattoos, and I don’t think anyone takes her up on that.

NICK: Well, does anyone want matching tattoos?

HUDSON: I’m not feeling it.

CAMERON: You don’t want to get shaved for a tattoo? [laughs]

HUDSON: No. I’m just enjoying these glasses. I might have a mojito… that’s virgin.

NICK: [laughs]

CAMERON: Well yeah, you are seven years old.

NICK: So it’s Sprite and mint leaves?

HUDSON: Yes.

CAMERON: Yuck.

LAURA: “But Tink, they can do one of those color injecting ones that goes into the hair. You don’t have to get shaved. Then your hair will grow in a fun color pattern.”

HUDSON: “Yeah…”

CAMERON: “Tink! You can get one of the hair wraps that they do with the embroidery threads. You’re the only one with hair. You need to do this for me.”

HUDSON: “Alright. No hair wraps. I might get the fur tatt. What is it called?”

LAURA: “Sure. Heh.”

CAMERON: “Fur tatt.”

LAURA: “A fur tatt.” A fur-tata!

NICK: Pretty sure a Furtat is an alien race.

[laughter]

HUDSON: Fur tatt. Alright, so I get a fur tatt.

NICK: Of what?

LAURA: Xianna did not have anything in mind when she said matching tattoos.

HUDSON: Yin and yang.

NICK: [laughs]

LAURA: “Oh no…” Not even Xianna gets that. She already has one that says The Afternoon Delight.

CAMERON: Karma gets some fun ocean motif stuff done in henna.

NICK: Like down her arm as a sleeve, or on her forehead?

CAMERON: Not on her forehead. [laughs] Probably a couple of head tails.

NICK: Cool. Yeah. I feel like you probably got one of your head tails with the colorful yarn wrap.

CAMERON: No.

NICK: No?

CAMERON: No. She looked at it seriously, but the amount of embroidery thread it would take to completely wrap the head tail was just gonna be too expensive, because they charge by the inch.

NICK: Makes sense.

CAMERON: Yup. And they were gonna charge more because it’s not just very small little loops of the thread, it would be nope, you’re going around a head tail, and that’s a little bit more excessive.

NICK: Okay. We’ve got a yin and yang tattoo, an ocean motif henna, Xianna does already have one that says The Afternoon Delight. Laura, does Xianna get another one?

LAURA: Xianna gets another one but doesn’t show anyone what it is, so that way I have time to think about what it will be.

CAMERON: Well yeah, because you have to put the bandage on it.

LAURA: Yeah. She just doesn’t show anyone.

NICK: Where does Tink get his tattoo?

HUDSON: Big Earl’s Parlor.

[laughter]

NICK: No, I meant like where on his body.

HUDSON: Oh! That’s a different question.

NICK: Is it on his shoulder, or his back, or the small of his back, or like a butt cheek?

HUDSON: Back, yeah, just middle back.

NICK: Okay, just a yin and yang there. Okay. Well, all our photos so far of Tink are the front, so that’s fine.

CAMERON: Can you see it with your battle axe on?

HUDSON: Yeah, because the strap isn’t super thick that it covers it up completely. It covers up part of it, but enough that you understand what it is.

CAMERON: Okay.

NICK: Cool. You got a cool symbol. We’ll have to come up with… It’s some Force symbology that I’m sure someone understands.

HUDSON: Not us.

NICK: Hopefully not. Okay, well, that’s enough of that. You push open the metaphorical door past the save point, and we cut to the landing pad. It’s basically an open parking lot with a small toll booth looking shack for an attendant in the middle, and the first cut that we see is of the board with all the inbound ships coming in. It’s got the flip letters that go through like the old school where they flip into the marquee for the new one, and one of the lines starts to spin. You see that it comes to Tallahassee Quagmire, and a ship comes in to land. The Tallahassee Quagmire lands at the pad. It’s a croissant-shaped ship. It looks pretty sleek. It has a few large, square boosters strapped to the back, and we see a pair of boots step onto the ramp, and that’s all we can see. You hear someone take a deep breath and say, “Let’s find our cargo, crew,” and we cut back away to everybody else who are all hanging out probably by the pool, I would imagine, now that you’ve turned in a bounty.

CAMERON: Yeah.

LAURA: Probably.

HUDSON: Yeah, that seems right.

CAMERON: We’re just waiting at this point. I think with the bounty Karma probably forgot to go check the parking lot this morning. She was distracted with ambushing the people who were trying to ambush her going into the guest bedroom.

LAURA: Xianna is doing an unofficial taste test of every frozen drink that the resort makes, so she probably has like 15 various frozen drinks around her on her little lounge chair in various states of frozen-ness depending on if she forgets about them or not.

NICK: Nice. I think, from the pool, is Karma just in one of the deck chairs sunbathing?

CAMERON: nah, Karma’s just underwater. You just see a green down there.

NICK: And Xianna’s sliding deeper and deeper into her water barstool as she goes through those. We get a shot over Xianna’s shoulder from the bartender’s perspective to that walkway that you first took to the main thing, and we see a short Human wearing smugglers’ gear and a Wookie walking up the path. You hear the Wookie make a Wookie noise, [all make noises] and the Human turns and says, “Well, I don’t know, we’re just here to pick someone up. Might as well go check in and say The Tallahassee Quagmire is here.” They’re walking by and gesturing at each other, and they walk into the main lobby. I think this is funnier if nobody from the crew notices.

CAMERON: I’m underwater.

LAURA: Like Xianna would notice even if they were talking about her.

HUDSON: I don’t notice at all.

NICK: [laughs] Tink doesn’t notice either. Okay.

CAMERON: Does Tink remember the name of the ship that we’re waiting for?

HUDSON: Nope.

NICK: So, we flash forward probably a couple hours and the crew of the Afternoon Delight heads back inside. You’re walking through the lobby, probably to go change clothes and relax. It’s gotten pretty hot, and it’s late afternoon. You see a short Human and a Wookie come out the elevator as you go in and they walk over to the reception desk. The short Human says, “Well, so, when things get charged to the room they get charged to the room, right, not to the ship? We’re on the Tallahassee Quagmire, but the room may not tie directly to the ship. We’re on contract right now.” They start having a conversation about that as you all walk onto the elevator.

CAMERON: I feel like Karma 100% recognizes Tiny when they walk past them.

LAURA: Karma would have to.

CAMERON: Because Karma just talked to this kid and decided not to kill him, like, a week and a half ago, maybe two weeks [laughs] and was giving mom advice and shit.

NICK: So then we get—

CAMERON: “Wait, that’s Tiny!”

NICK: The elevator closes and starts to go up to your penthouse suite.

LAURA: “Who?”

CAMERON: “Quiggle’s replacement.”

LAURA: “Who is Tiny?”

CAMERON: “Okay. So do you remember when Falx gave us that briefcase and it as an empty briefcase?”

LAURA: “Falx is not very tiny. He is like a fairly normal height.”

CAMERON: “No. Gosh. You drank too much. Anyway.”

LAURA: “I mean yes. Heh.”

CAMERON: “Which one won, by the way?”

LAURA: “Oh. It was frozen, and I think there was coconut in it, and maybe a fruit.”

CAMERON: “That is so descriptive.”

LAURA: “Because I think coconut is not technically a fruit. It is like a seed or something.”

NICK: “Observation: The pink one made her fall out of her chair.”

LAURA: “Yes, but that was not my favorite.”

CAMERON: “Does that mean it wins?”

LAURA: “No.”

CAMERON: “Okay. I’m not sure what the rules are.”

LAURA: “It was not as tasty. I was not really setting out, I just kept forgetting about drinks and then ordering new ones and then realized I was just getting all of them, so I decided to see which one was better. The one, it had coconut definitely, and a fruit, and it had pretty colors, and was swirly. There was an umbrella on the top. I want to say it had some sort of tropical name.”

CAMERON: [laughs]

LAURA: “Yes. That one.”

CAMERON: “Alright… Cool. Anyway. Do you remember when Falx gave us the briefcase?”

LAURA: “yes.”

CAMERON: “Okay. And we took the briefcase to go meet with his friends on the asteroid, and then they were not his friends, and they tried to kill us?”

LAURA: “Oh yes, because the briefcase was empty.”

CAMERON: “Yes. The Tallahassee Quagmire is that ship that we met.”

LAURA: “Oh! Okay. Tink, do you remember this at all?”

HUDSON: “Eh…”

CAMERON: “Guys, this was like two weeks ago.”

LAURA: “It seems like it was much longer than just two weeks ago.”

CAMERON: “It really does.”

LAURA: “Was it even two weeks ago? Like a week and a half? How does time work? Heh.”

CAMERON: “I don’t know… I don’t know.”

NICK: “Defensive Statement: I was not here for that.”

CAMERON: “That’s true. You are excused from remembering this, HK.”

HUDSON: “I’m a little heat exhausted. I didn’t drink enough water. I don’t remember.”

CAMERON: Karma pulls out a bottle of water from her mom bag, and an orange.

NICK: [laughs]

HUDSON: “Oh! Thank you. I won’t get scurvy.”

CAMERON: “That was my concern. So, Tiny was the kid that we decided not to kill, and I guess the Wookie was one of his other crew members because we killed everybody else who was there. It was called Quiggle’s Quagmire, I believe, and now it’s called Tallahassee Quagmire because Tiny wanted to keep the crew’s identity kind of stable but named it Tallahassee after his mom, I think.”

NICK: Ping! The elevator opens and you’re at your nice, big, open room with all of the hot tubs and heart-shaped beds. Also, every time you go in there they’ve refreshed the rose petals scattered everywhere, because it is the honeymoon suite. The camera zooms through the room and goes to where you were keeping the two Black Sun members prisoner and some of the walls are scratched up and dented where they tried to get out.

CAMERON: But as Tink said earlier, all-inclusive is all-inclusive.

HUDSON: That’s right.

NICK: [chuckles] Because he clearly read the 14 pages of the contract that he signed.

CAMERON: Yup.

HUDSON: I just took from the definition what the definition meant.

NICK: Yeah, so you’re back in the room now.

CAMERON: “Alright. Everybody pack up your stuff and we’ll head downstairs?”

LAURA: “Wait, why?”

CAMERON: “Because the ship’s here that we’re supposed to meet up with to leave.”

HUDSON: “Aww. Vacation’s over.”

LAURA: “Wait. Are we not on vacation?”

CAMERON: “We are. This is now the end of our vacation. Our vacation has come to a close.”

LAURA: “I was not given a 24 hour warning. That is how vacations work. You get like a warning ahead so that I know what to do.”

CAMERON: “Maybe there’s a hot tub on the Tallahassee Quagmire.”

LAURA: “Wait. Why are we going onto their ship?”

CAMERON: “Because they’re infiltrating us into wherever the hell we’re going next. I don’t remember! It’s been a while, Xianna! I don’t know how much of this plan we actually know.” [laughs]

LAURA: “But why can’t we just use our ship with our hot tub and whatever is living in and around the hot tub?”

HUDSON: “They’ll kind of notice that it’s our ship rather than a ship they like.”

CAMERON: “Tink has a very good point. Also, would you want our ship to get messed up?”

LAURA: “Ugh. Okay. I mean, I don’t really care.”

HUDSON: “Our ship isn’t all-inclusive. If it gets a dent…”

LAURA: “Is their ship all-inclusive?”

HUDSON: “To us.”

LAURA: [laughs]

CAMERON: “I mean, if you find it.” [laughs]

LAURA: “Okay fine. I will pack up. But I’m taking towels.”

NICK: [laughs] “Reminding Statement: Perhaps the crew of this new ship know what’s going on and you could ask them.”

LAURA: “I mean, I hope they do.”

CAMERON: “I know, but we’re not there yet, okay? And I’d like to put a little bit more clothes on before we go find them.”

HUDSON: “Don’t get onto HK. He’s just trying to help.”

CAMERON: “And I appreciate it.”

NICK: HK is staring at a wall.

CAMERON: “I don’t think he really cares.”

LAURA: “Fine. I will pack up my things, but I am not changing.”

CAMERON: “That’s fine.”

HUDSON: “I’m changing. I’m gonna get out of this swimsuit.”

CAMERON: You’re just gonna go back to being naked again? [laughs]

HUDSON: yes.

NICK: Okay. Tink changes out of his old-timey sailor suit that he’s been wearing for this whole thing that you don’t remember. Do you keep your sunglasses on?

HUDSON: Yeah.

NICK: Karma, do you put your space clothes back on?

CAMERON: I think they’re on the ship, because we changed into our swimsuits before we got off the ship.

NICK: Oh yeah, they probably are. You sure did. So, are you heading back to the ship then?

CAMERON: Yeah.

NICK: Okay. The crew all heads to the ship. We get the clock wipe that just goes around and they step back off of the ship and they’re all wearing whatever clothes that they want to wear. Tink is wearing sunglasses, his backpack, his fanny pack, his weapons, and nothing else. Karma, are you wearing your armor and everything again?

CAMERON: Yeah. I’m back in my armor and stuff.

NICK: And Xianna, are you still in your strappy swimsuit?

LAURA: Yes, strappy swimsuit and sandals and sunglasses and big hat.

CAMERON: Did you add your blaster holster?

LAURA: Yes, just on top.

CAMERON: [laughs]

NICK: Did you bring your smuggler coat with you?

LAURA: Oh yeah, it’s all in a bag.

CAMERON: She’s got an overnight bag.

LAURA: Yeah. I have one of those oversized bags and it’s all in there. Stuff is sticking out of it so that you know I have clothes in there.

NICK: There’s a baguette.

LAURA: There is a baguette, so you know I went grocery shopping.

NICK: [laughs]

LAURA: Carrots with the leaves still on them hanging out. All of it.

NICK: So, basically, this is a thing for fan artists. We’ve got Xianna geared for war but still in a strappy, black bikini. That’s what’s going on?

LAURA: Yes.

NICK: Cool.

CAMERON: It’s not really a bikini.

LAURA: It is like a one-piece, but it’s just strappy.

CAMERON: It is a one-piece, it’s just there’s a lot of holes, but it’s all connected.

NICK: Okay. Cool. So, you’re geared up for conflict, you’re standing in the parking lot, what do you do now?

LAURA: “I’m pretty sure I saw Creamsicle behind the refrigerator thing in the kitchenette area. Creamsicle is what I have named the loth-rat.”

CAMERON: “Alright. I was about to ask, although I was scared of that.”

LAURA: “They are like a nice orange color, so I named them Creamsicle. Yes. We have to keep them now, because I have named them. Yes.”

CAMERON: “Because it has a name… Yep, I remember that stage.”

NICK: “Observation: I could go and exterminate the rodent for you.”

LAURA: “No! Hank, you cannot kill Creamsicle.”

CAMERON: “It’s fine. I have a feeling that it’s not doing any damage.”

NICK: [laughs]

LAURA: “They are a good little floofy. Please don’t kill them.”

NICK: For a being that’s face is immovable metal, HK manages to look disappointed and puts his extremely large rifle back on his shoulder.

LAURA: “I’m sure you will get to kill someone later on in this mission.”

NICK: So, you’re geared up.

CAMERON: HK has his gun again.

NICK: HK has his gun. Yeah. HK is good to roll. You’re standing in this parking lot. We get a last wistful camera shot of the beautiful teal ocean, and the white sand, and a couple of the Draedan resort associates with their khaki capris and different colored polo shirts and they’re guiding some tourists along the beach. You can see on the landing board the Tallahassee Quagmire and what the parking location is, and it is across the parking lot from you but it’s pretty close. It’s a pretty large ship. It looks like it’s got some extra pieces that have been stuck to it since the last time you saw it. It’s carrying heavy cargo. But it’s parked nearby. You don’t think that Tiny and his Wookie friend are probably there since they were in the resort, so what do you do?

CAMERON: Close up the Afternoon Delight. (boop-bwoop!)

NICK: [laughs] Lock the ship. Okay.

HUDSON: Lock the ship.

CAMERON: [giggles] You know the one time I forget to say that Nick’s gonna fuck with our ship.

HUDSON: Yeah. We get completely everything stolen from the inside.

CAMERON: All of our popsicles just gone.

HUDSON: Ugh. I mean, I already ate them all.

LAURA: All my drugs.

NICK: I thought you had those with you.

LAURA: Well no, I keep some on the ship. I have 12 on me and 28 on the ship.

HUDSON: Gosh.

CAMERON: [laughs]

NICK: You have so much drugs.

LAURA: Also on the ship I have a camouflage set, a weird mask, some Twi’lek totems, a B&B cross-stitch that says something about ‘don’t steal towels,’ [laughter] a caf carafe…

NICK: Yes, so there’s plenty of things. Thank you for reminding me how much valuables you’re keeping on your ship. That’s good to know.

CAMERON: I believe Karma has a med kit on the ship.

NICK: Yeah. Well, that’s more like the ship has a med station now with the way you’ve been using it.

CAMERON: Yup. I believe that’s it.

LAURA: I mean, good luck to anyone who tries to find Xianna’s stuff in that room.

NICK: Yeah…

HUDSON: I look at the Tallahassee Quagmire, and I say “Ooh, I need to claim a bedroom,” and I start running toward it.

NICK: [laughs]

CAMERON: “Wait, Tink.”

HUDSON: “What?”

CAMERON: “I think the captain is still in the hotel.”

HUDSON: “Oh… Well, they might have left it unlocked.”

CAMERON: “Ooh. That seems like a bad way to start a business relationship, especially since we started this first relationship with us all shooting at each other.”

HUDSON: “You’re right. You have a point there. Let’s go find them.”

LAURA: Is it unlocked?

NICK: I don’t know. Do you try to open it?

LAURA: Yeah. Xianna just keeps walking. “Well, I’m going to try it.”

NICK: Xianna, there’s a hand access panel. You press that. The main ramp doesn’t drop, but a small side door opens on another part of the ship.

LAURA: “See? It is open.”

CAMERON: “I’m gonna head back into the hotel and find Tiny.”

LAURA: “Okay, if that is what you want to do. Tink, come on.”

HUDSON: “Okay.”

CAMERON: [laughs] “Alright HK, you’re with me.”

HUDSON: “To be fair, if you had a safe in the yard and that safe was unlocked, even though it’s a safe, you would want to go in there and steal the bedrooms that are in that safe and claim them for yourself.”

CAMERON: “I’m confused with your metaphor, but I’ll see y’all later.”

LAURA: “Yeah. I’m not even following that one.”

NICK: Okay. Xianna and Tink, you climb through the side door?

HUDSON: Yes.

LAURA: Yes. Heh.

NICK: It’s pretty dark in there. You climb in. Xianna, do you go first?

LAURA: Yeah. I have my scanner goggles.

NICK: Yeah. You slide your scanner goggles on and you realize there’s a blank wall in front of you, and about the time you do that the door behind you slams shut and you’re locked in a very small room with Tink.

LAURA: “Oh no, Tink. Tink, I think I made an oopsie.”

[laughter]

HUDSON: “Uh, yeah, this is quite the oopsie.”

LAURA: “Okay… Let me see if I can figure this out.”

NICK: [smiling] We’re gonna pan away from you two for a minute and we’re gonna cut to Karma. Karma, you get off of the parking lot and you hear the slide-whoosh of the door closing and all is quiet. You head back to the hotel.

CAMERON: Yeah, it seems fine. They probably closed the door themselves.

NICK: Yeah, probably.

CAMERON: They’d call if they were in trouble, surely.

NICK: [laughs] We get a quick cut over to Tink and Xianna working on it and Tink’s knee is somehow up in Xianna’s face. It’s like fitting two people in a phone booth. It’s just very tight. We cut back to karma walking into the hotel. How are you gonna track down Tiny?

CAMERON: With my tracking skills~!

NICK: Okay.

CAMERON: I’m an Expert Tracker. What does that do for me? [laughs]

NICK: I don’t know. [laughs]

CAMERON: I can remove a black die per rank of Expert Tracker from checks to find tracks or track targets and it takes me half the time to track my target.

NICK: I’m gonna say you’re probably not going to be tracking them with literal tracks. You’re probably talking to people.

CAMERON: Well yeah. That’s part of my Skip Tracer tree. I’m asking the front desk, who like us now because we spent a lot of money here.

NICK: Mm-hmm, but weirdly all the account information changed recently.

CAMERON: That’s fine. I don’t mention who I am. It’s all under Tink’s name. it’s fine.

NICK: So are you gonna roll Survival and try to track them?

CAMERON: I go over to the concierge stand and I make a reservation for the crew of the Tallahassee Quagmire at the restaurant in like half an hour, because I know that they’ll give courtesy calls up to the room to tell them that it’s time for their dinner reservation, or their lunch reservation depending on what time it is. What time is it?

NICK: It would be a very early dinner, but you can still make the reservation.

CAMERON: Okay. We’re having high tea then. They have high tea in there, and they now have a reservation, and I’m gonna go sit in there at the table and start drinking tea and eating scones.

NICK: Great. The person at the desk says, “Oh, that’s wonderful. If you could just scan your com that’s linked to your room then we can make that happen.”

CAMERON: Okay.

NICK: So you scan the com that’s linked to your room?

CAMERON: No, I’m making the reservation for them.

NICK: Right. The way you do the reservations is by scanning the com.

CAMERON: No, because you’re looking at me, and I don’t want to do this. [laughs]

NICK: Well, you could try to talk her into just doing it manually. You’re just gonna have to, like…

CAMERON: “Just do it manually.”

NICK: …maybe charm them or something, some sort of roll here. We haven’t done a roll in like three sessions. [laughs]

CAMERON: What am I best at? … Can I do Piloting?

NICK: No~

[laughter]

HUDSON: Pilot your way around this one.

LAURA: Just metaphorically flying.

NICK: We’re sure flying by the seat of our pants now.

HUDSON: [air horn noises]

NICK: Thank you, Hudson.

CAMERON: “No, they asked me to make the reservation for them.”

NICK: Are you deceiving?

CAMERON: Yeah.

NICK: Okay.

CAMERON: “We were all at the pool together just now, but they had to run up to the room to change because, um, sand. You know how it is. It just gets everywhere, and I hate it so much.”

NICK: “Oh yeah. It’s coarse and rough.” Average.

CAMERON: Just one failure.

NICK: Just one failure. So, the person at the counter says, ‘I’m so sorry. The only way we can make the reservation is through the system. It’s to ensure that everyone is charged the correct amount to their rooms. You can understand wanting to be fair.”

CAMERON: “Yes, which is why I don’t want to use mine, because they’re paying for it, so it would need to be charged to their room.”

NICK: “I can tell that. I’m unfortunately unable to help. Why don’t you call them and just have them make the reservation from their room, if that’s where they are?”

CAMERON: “Ugh. Gah, this place is so insufferable.” Karma goes and leaves a bad review online for the hotel with just how unhelpful they are, and mentions Cassandra specifically because that was the name of the person at the desk.

NICK: The light in Cassandra’s eyes dies, but her smile does not flicker.

CAMERON: Karma just sits and stares at the elevator.

NICK: [laughs] We cut back to the other two locked in a small phone booth in the ship. What are you all doing?

LAURA: Can Xianna do some sort of Skulduggery type check to see if there’s any release buttons?

NICK: On the inside?

LAURA: On the inside. Or grates, or anything that might let them out.

NICK: You can sure try. This one’s going to be daunting though, because this is a room designed to catch people who try to go into the ship. So it’s doable, but it’s not easy, and you have a black die because Tink is all up in your business.

HUDSON: I’ll explain what I’m doing in a second.

NICK: [laughs] Okay.

LAURA: Would this be considered a security device or locked door?

NICK: Yeah.

LAURA: Okay, so then I can remove that black die with a Bypass Security that I have.

NICK: Nice.

LAURA: How many is daunting?

CAMERON: Four.

LAURA: A complete wash.

NICK: Huh. I wasn’t expecting that. I think Xianna is able to touch every part of the panel, get every part of the small room, which is a fun… think anime style flash cut scenes of her and Tink being smooshed in different positions as she tries to get to everywhere, and it’s just a sealed box. You’re stuck real good. Tink, what are you up to?

HUDSON: I have my CryonCorp EnhanceScan, and I’m seeing if there are…

NICK: Motion sensors?

CAMERON: [laughs]

HUDSON: …motion sensors, other scanners, or lifeforms.

NICK: Okay. Make me a Perception check, because I feel like this is going to take some skill to calibrate it for what you’re trying to do.

HUDSON: What is the difficulty?

NICK: Hard. That’s three purple.

HUDSON: Two successes and a disadvantage.

NICK: Okay. You’re able to see there is a motion sensor in this box, so they are tracking you, because you have a motion sensor-sensor. There is at least one more lifeform somewhere on the ship, like it’s in close proximity, but it doesn’t really seem to be moving. It’s just in one place. That’s pretty much what you can get out of the sensor.

HUDSON: So it could be a pet.

NICK: Potentially, or someone’s sleeping, or a very active plant. Hard to tell.

[snickering]

HUDSON: I hit the device. ‘This thing. Ugh.”

NICK: And it turns off, because canonically every time you hit it, it breaks for a little while.

LAURA: “Tink, I think we might just have to call Karma and get us out.”

HUDSON: “How many grenades do you think would reopen the door?”

LAURA: “I don’t have any grenades anymore, so—“

HUDSON: I pull out three.

[laughter]

LAURA: “Tink, we are way too small. This room is way too small for you to throw a grenade. Please do not.”

HUDSON: “We could fetal position in the corner. I’d protect you.”

LAURA: “No! I mean… I feel like you could probably protect me from like a single grenade blast, but then you might die. So, I mean, we could give it a shot if you are very confident.”

HUDSON: Ooh. What is my confidence level? “We should probably call karma, but you know, if that falls through I got these babies.”

LAURA: “Okay. You make the call.”

CAMERON: [laughs]

HUDSON: “Hey, uh… karma?”

NICK: Karma, your com starts to ring as an elevator door opens and you see Tiny and his Wookie compatriot walking through the lobby.

CAMERON: “HK, could you take that?” Karma transfers it to HK and then runs after Tiny.

NICK: “Answering Com: Hello.”

HUDSON: “Oh? Is this not Karma? Did I call the wrong number?”

NICK: “Explanatory Statement: Karma was too busy to answer your call. I am here instead. How can I help you?”

HUDSON: “Me and Xianna boarded the ship, and when we did that it trapped us into this small room that we can’t get out of.”

NICK: “Apologetic Statement: I forgot to ask who this is. Who is this?”

HUDSON: “This is Tink.”

NICK: “Acknowledged, primary user. You are trapped in a small box?”

HUDSON: ‘yes.”

NICK: “How did that happen?”

HUDSON: “We tried to board the ship. The door behind us closed, and so did the walls around us.”

LAURA: “No, Tink, the walls were already there.”

HUDSON: “I’m just remembering a horror story. I don’t know.”

LAURA: “Ello, Hank.”

NICK: “Greetings, secondary user, Xianna. Boss Man, what assistance do you require?”

HUDSON: “Could you come out to the Tallahassee Quagmire, inspect the touchpad, and try to reopen the door? Oh! No. All you have to do is hit the touchpad.”

CAMERON: [laughs]

NICK: “Request acknowledged,” and then the com hangs up.

LAURA: “So do you think he’s actually going to come let us out?”

HUDSON: I call back.

[laughter]

NICK: Do you call Hank or Karma?

HUDSON: I call Hank.

NICK: Okay. It rings for a long time.

LAURA: “He’s not coming to get us…”

NICK: “Call acknowledged. Hello.”

HUDSON: “Oh, thank goodness. When you come to get us, make sure the door stays open after you hit the control pad, and if you’re still up there just make up an excuse, like tell Karma that you have to go to the little droid’s room.”

NICK: “Apologetic Statement: I forgot to ask who this is. Who is this?”

HUDSON: “This is Boss Man.”

CAMERON: [laughs]

NICK: “Boss man acknowledged. I am heading to your location.” He hangs up again.

HUDSON: “I think were saved, Xianna.”

LAURA: “Okay.” Now they’re just smooshed in there. Xianna does reach into her bag and pulls out a big old frozen drink that just had the boba drink lid film on top and punches a straw in it. “Oh Tink, you want some?”

HUDSON: “Mm, is that alcoholic?”

LAURA: “Yes~”

HUDSON: I do my arms in a cross.

NICK: [laughs]

LAURA: “Okay. Your loss.”

CAMERON: Tink takes out his orange.

HUDSON: Yeah, I start eating the orange.

NICK: Karma is approaching Tiny, and then HK gets her attention from where she left him in the lobby. “Deceptive Statement: I’ve been instructed to go to the little droid’s room.”

CAMERON: “HK, what’s actually going on?”

NICK: “Primary user acknowledged. The other two members of the crew have locked themselves in a tiny box.”

CAMERON: “Great. Okay. Delay any orders they gave. Just follow me. We’ll go deal with it with Tiny and we’ll get them out.”

NICK: “Disappointed sigh. I wanted to help them out of the Tiny box.”

CAMERON: “We’ll still give you credit. Fair?”

NICK: “We will leave them in the tiny box.”

CAMERON: “No. Wait. What?” [laughs]

HUDSON: [laughs]

CAMERON: “I’m not following your logic jumps.”

NICK: “Statement: We will do whatever you as primary user require.”

CAMERON: “Fantastic. For the moment, follow me.”

NICK: “Acknowledged.”

CAMERON: Continues after Tiny.

NICK: Okay. Tiny is at the maître d’s podium. “Hey, yeah, we asked somebody to make a reservation for us for high tea, but we never got the reminder that our reservation was coming up, so I don’t really know what’s going on there.”

CAMERON: Karma glares at Cassandra.

NICK: Cassandra is still dead-eyed and smiling brightly. She’s actually currently talking to another family that’s there, and they just seem really out of it and not listening to what she’s saying, and it’s just this really circular conversation about the pool’s hours. Cassandra’s just saying, “Well, the pool’s always open.”

“Right, I get that, but what time does the pool close?”

“But the pool’s always open.” So, Cassandra’s got her own problem going on.

CAMERON: I feel better having glared. “Excuse me, Captain Tiny?”

NICK: Before he turns around you see that it is indeed Tiny, the gunrunner from a long time ago podcast-wise, not very long ago real time-wise.

CAMERON: Like Episode 8 or 9? Right?

NICK: Yeah. He is 1.5 meters tall. He has dark hair. He has a very wide and dramatic hat on now with a feathery plume sticking out of it. He doesn’t appear overtly armed, but there are several places in his cool leather jacket and stuff where there could be hold out blasters hidden. “Actually, it’s Commodore Tiny.” He turns around. “Oh gosh! Oh, I remember you. Hi… Uh, did not expect to see you here, actually.”

CAMERON: “Oh hey. That’s kind of surprising, because we were sent here to see you!”

NICK: “Oh. Are you the cargo…?”

CAMERON: “yes.”

NICK: “You’re not supposed to be here for like another three days. We were kind of hoping to get a vacation in before this next job, actually.”

CAMERON: “I mean, we won’t say anything if you don’t say anything, if we just want to continue this beach party.”

NICK: The Wookie turns around and looks like he recognizes you. “Haaarn.”

CAMERON: [laughs]

NICK: That’s what Wookies say. Wookies say harn. Read a book.

CAMERON: “Hey. It’s good to see you, too.”

NICK: “Well, I mean, if the job’s started we should probably keep on. The pay is honestly pretty good and we need it right now. Haven’t had a good couple of weeks. We were just about to do like a tea, like a late lunch. Did you want to join in on that one?”

CAMERON: “yes!”

NICK: Okay. [laughs] You all go and you sit and you have tea and it’s great.

CAMERON: “Oh hey, yeah, so um, you remember there were other folks on my crew the last time we ran into each other.”

NICK: “Oh yeah, you mean the people who shot everyone I’ve ever known, except for my buddy…” unnamed Wookie.

CAMERON: Yeah. What’s the Wookie’s name?

NICK: Um… Laura, help.

LAURA: Horn!

CAMERON: Horn. [laughs]

NICK: Horn. Yeah. Hornbacca. They’re all –bacca.

LAURA: Corenhorn!

NICK: [laughs] Corn-horn the Wookie! No.

LAURA: It’s spelled differently! It’s a very traditional Wookie name.

[laughter]

NICK: We’ll say, uh…

LAURA: Lumpy! It’s a very traditional Wookie name!

[laughter]

NICK: We’ll say Carn.

LAURA: Lobacca, also a traditional Wookie name.

NICK: That one actually is.

LAURA: They all actually are!

NICK: Yeah, I know… Carn. Carn the Wookie.

HUDSON: Carn Horn.

NICK: Sure.

CAMERON: Carnhorn.

LAURA: His middle name is N.

HUDSON: Beep-beep.

NICK: Carn N Horn?

LAURA: Yes.

NICK: Ugh… Yeah, I forgot what I was saying.

[laughter]

CAMERON: “Yes, how they killed everyone you’ve ever known except for Carn here.”

NICK: “Yeah, those. So, they’re still around…?”

CAMERON: “Most of them. yes. We’ve unfortunately lost a crew member since then. Our fearless leader, Sabos, the Tagrutan—“

NICK: “Golly. What must that be like.”

CAMERON: “Yeah, well—”  It was a promotion. Shut up.

NICK: [laughs]

CAMERON: “We have lost Sabos. The rest of my crew is a little bit delicate. It would be very much appreciated if you didn’t bring up the fact that he was missing when we see them again.”

NICK: “I mean, I do kinda owe you for not killing me, and by pirate code you were well within your right. Alright, that’s fine. Ooh, could you pass those scones, please?”

CAMERON: “Oh yeah, sure, here. Do you want the clotted cream?”

NICK: “Oh, absolutely.”

CAMERON: “Okay. The other piece, I believe the other two members of my crew have gotten themselves trapped on your ship.”

NICK: “Well, the only way they could have done that was if they tried to get into the ship without permission.”

CAMERON: “Uh-huh.”

NICK: “Okay. Well… Wait. Isn’t one of them like a Gigoran?”

CAMERON: “Mm-hmm.”

NICK: “Ooh. That’s gonna be tight. They might start running out of air, actually. It’s only designed for one person.” And we cut back to Tink and Xianna in their small phone booth.

CAMERON: [laughs]

HUDSON: [groans]

LAURA: Xianna’s probably passed out.

[laughter]

HUDSON: “Xianna, wake [heavy breath] up… Where’s HK?””

LAURA: “[startled] Wh-What?!”

HUDSON: “Where’s HK?”

LAURA: “Where is the cat?!”

HUDSON: “There’s no cat.”

LAURA: “Oh. Okay. Never mind then. Um… What?”

HUDSON: “Alright. I’m gonna call HK again.” I call HK.

NICK: [laughs] “Acknowledged. Hello.”

HUDSON: “HK, where are you? Why haven’t you let us out?”

NICK: “I’m sorry, I forgot to request who this is. Who is this?”

HUDSON: “This is the Boss Man.”

NICK: “Boss Man, acknowledged.”

LAURA: “Ello Hank.”

NICK: “Greetings, Xianna. Your order was overwritten by another primary user.”

HUDSON: “I would like to override whatever the hell that means and… ugh, get us out of here.”

NICK: “Affirmative.” Com clicks off. “Deceptive Statement: I must visit the little droid’s room.” [laughter] HK steps up, throwing his chair backwards with a clatter.

CAMERON: “Okay. Can we go let them out of your ship?” This is happening right as Tiny made the comment of huh, that’s gonna be awkward, that’s only supposed to have one person in there, and then immediately after he finishes that statement HK stands up.

NICK: Yeah. Tiny says, “I don’t know. It sounds like your droid has to go to the little droid’s room. We should probably wait on him, right?”

CAMERON: “Did you not hear the deceptive statement at the start of it? This is the same thing they told me earlier when I decided it might do them some good to be trapped in a small room for a while to think about their choices, without realizing that they were gonna run out of air, so can we go let them out so that they can breathe?”

NICK: “Hey that’s kind of messed up. You just left them locked in a security protocol?”

CAMERON: “They got themselves locked in a security protocol. If you don’t teach children, they’ll never learn, Tiny.”

NICK: “This is in line with the only other interaction I’ve had with you where you taught me about life, at the end of a blaster. … Alright, yeah, let’s go.” They head off down the boardwalk. Tiny goes to the croissant-shaped ship, the Tallahassee Quagmire. Also, say croissant-shaped ship several times fast. That one’s hard.

CAMERON: That’s okay.

NICK: He goes to the main entry panel that you saw earlier and he doesn’t press that, and he presses a secret button up under the plating of the ship, and you go inside. It’s mostly open, like a majority of the ship is used for storage, except you can see a series of doors along one wall of the ship which correspond with the bulbous attachments on the outside. He walks over to one of those and hits a button, and we see Tink and Xianna just get dumped unceremoniously out of the small room that they were in and onto the floor of the ship. “Oh hey. Maybe you shouldn’t try to enter ships without permission.”

LAURA: “Oh hello. We thought it was just unlocked, so sorry.”

HUDSON: “I was trying to claim a bedroom, and… That’s my excuse.”

NICK: “Well, we don’t have bedrooms. This is a smuggling ship. We kind of just sleep in the captains’ chairs. Ships usually don’t have like comfortable accommodations. They’re for travel.”

HUDSON: “Oh, you’ve never been in our ship.”

LAURA: “Yeah. We have like eight bedrooms.”

CAMERON: ‘Alright. When we’re done with this mission you should come on vacation with us and just stay on our ship for a few days, because then you still get the break you need.”

LAURA: “We have a hot tub.”

NICK: “If you make it out of where we’re dropping you alive, then sure, we could make that happen, but I mean that is a pretty big if.” And that’s where we’re gonna end the episode.

ALL: Ba-naaa~!

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you’ve enjoyed our show please consider logging into iTunes and giving us a five-star review. Five-star reviews will help new listeners to find the show and will make the squad giggle like school children when we read them. If you’re so inclined, you can also help support the show through our Patreon which can be found in the show notes, on our website, and basically anywhere we post things. We have all sorts of Patreon levels including some of my favorites: Bantha Buddy, Tarkin’s Underwear Drawer, and Build-A-Beru which all have fabulous rewards and super great names.

Xianna’fan is played by Laura Penrod. She can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson. He can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @Tabletop_Squad, and join our Discord and share all of your food and cute pet photos with us. We also sometimes talk about Star Wars. You can find the link to join our Discord on our website and in our pinned tweet. See you next time.