Tabletop Squadron Transcript – Season 2, Episode 33:
Meet the Parents

Transcript by Raina Harper

## Intro

LILIT: Hello everyone, and welcome to Tabletop Squadron, a Star Wars: Edge of the Empire actual play podcast. Every other Thursday, our story follows a thief, a bounty hunter, and a slicer as they hunt for galactic treasure, staying away from a bitter rival and growing closer together.

I’d like to thank Chase for the creation of the NPC, Nyx, that we used in today’s episode. If you also would like to create and submit an NPC to possibly be used in the show, you can go and support us at the $10 level on Patreon.

Music credits and content warnings are available in the show notes this week.

Now let’s get into the episode.

##

NICK: Hello! Welcome to Tabletop Squadron, Episode 33! I am your host and game master, Nick, and we’re just gonna take it down a notch this week, just have a nice, chill, nonviolent game of Star Peace instead of Star Wars. Let’s go around the table and everybody say who you are and who you’re playing today starting with Lilit.

LILIT: Hello. I am Lilit, and I play Xianna’fan, a Twi’lek smuggler. I will be playing Star Peas today where you eat a bunch of frozen peas out of the bag at 2 AM.

NICK: Oh. See, I thought we were just pivoting and doing a religious-based fiction story and we were all produce to tell the stories and you would be Star Peas, and then there would be Star Carrots, and Star…

LILIT: Tomato.

NICK: Yeah, that’s the one.

LILIT: And a Cucumber.

CAMERON: Broccolini?

NICK: Star Broccolini! You figured it out, the big bad of the whole show. Next up we’ve got Hudson.

HUDSON: Hi. I’m Peace Officer Reginald Baltimore. As this is a laidback and new format we’re doing, I’m just gonna say that I’m here to chill and have a good time.

NICK: [struggling] Great to have you, Peace Officer Reginald Baltimore. Are you going to be playing Tink, a Gigoran slicer this week?

HUDSON: Yeah, Hudson is gonna be playing Tink, a Gigoran slicer.

NICK: Ooh, now we’re into the third person. I don’t like that.

HUDSON: Hudson loves it.

[laughter]

NICK: [groans] Yuck. Last but not least we’ve got Cameron.

CAMERON: Hello. My name is Cameron, and I play Karma Nailo, a Nautolan bounty hunter.

NICK: Phenomenal. Before we get started with the recap, let’s do the Destiny Roll~!

CAMERON: One dark side.

HUDSON: One light side.

LILIT: Two light side.

##

NICK: So, last time on Star Peace, a peaceful journey through the stars with Officer Reginald Baltimore—That was harder to say than I expected. You saw the consequences of assassinating a head of government on a planet that is under occupation by a fascist regime. You were able to escape the planet, and, based on a strange hunch that Tink had, decided to go to Mandalore. That’s where we last left off.

We open on the Afternoon Delight in hyperspace. The ship is well on its way to Mandalore, your next stop. Tink suggested that you go there on some sort of hunch and you all decided to see what adventures may lay in wait there. You’ve had some time, it’s far away from where you were, it’s probably been a couple of days of travel at this point. What have you all been doing during your voyage?

HUDSON: Tink has been constructing a gigantic blanket fort in the game lounge and cargo bay. And Room 16, which is unlabeled, and I think that’s the ever-shifting room, right?

LILIT: No, that’s Room 4.

CAMERON: Yeah, because it’s not on the list.

LILIT: Because Room 4 isn’t listed on the ship, so who knows where it could actually be.

[laughter]

HUDSON: So what is 16? Why is it unlabeled?

LILIT: We haven’t figured that out yet.

NICK: We just haven’t put anything in there.

CAMERON: We just haven’t picked yet.

HUDSON: That is the epicenter of my blanket fort that reaches across the three other areas.

LILIT: Who knows what room it was before, but now it is the heart of your blanket fort.

CAMERON: It is the blanket fort room.

NICK: Where did you get all the blankets? Were you stealing them from everyone’s rooms?

HUDSON: Yes.

NICK: Okay…

CAMERON: We have so many spare bedrooms.

LILIT: Yeah. There’s a bunch of spare bedrooms and it was a party yacht so they probably had a whole cabinet just full of linens.

NICK: Has anyone seen you in the last 24 hours or did you disappear into this blanket jungle that you created?

HUDSON: I’ve disappeared into the blanket jungle and no one has seen me for the past 24 hours.

NICK: Okay. Great. So that’s what you’re doing. What about the other two members of the crew?

LILIT: Xianna stumbled upon the blanket fort in the middle of the night, and entered it, and has also not been seen in 24 hours, mostly because she no longer knows how to get out herself.

[laughter]

LILIT: She has been looking for Tink but has not found him. At this point she has given up. She lives in the blanket fort now with Creamsicle. Creamsicle knows how to get out.

NICK: Creamsicle has left and come back with snacks several times.

LILIT: Yes.

CAMERON: Karma is starting to get concerned with how quiet the ship is but has been going through—

LILIT: Has Karma seen the blanket fort?

[laughter]

CAMERON: No, I don’t think she’s wandered yet to try to track anyone down. She’s just making sure that there’s food out, and some food does keep leaving because Creamsicle takes it, so she’s like alright, well… I guess they’re alright. [laughs]

And has just been hanging out in the main living area and occasionally going up to the cockpit to check on things. But went through her whole routine of cleaning all of her weapons, since she actually used her sword, cleaning that. And then pulled out one of the books that we stole from the library that had all of the info on the Force objects.

NICK: Mm-hmm.

CAMERON: Picture a child sitting in the aftermath of a Christmas morning. So there’s just the boxes and the stuffing that was in the boxes kind of thrown around everywhere, just sitting in the living room floor and has the two items that we have, the Stone Breaker and the Spirit Breaker, pulled out and is reading about them in the books.

NICK: Okay. Make me a Knowledge check, probably Knowledge (Education) since you’re doing research.

CAMERON: What difficulty?

NICK: Eh, we’ll say average. You have books specifically about this so it shouldn’t be too hard, but what information you get in addition will be…

CAMERON: Can I have a blue die because it’s been silent on the ship for 24 hours?

NICK: Sure!

CAMERON: [laughing] So I’ve gotten really focused.

NICK: Yeah, that makes sense.

CAMERON: Three successes and three threats.

NICK: Hmm. Well, you are able to cross-reference the index of the gaming book that you took that has this information and the actual historical documents that you took from the library and you actually put some information together about what these objects ostensibly do. You’re not sure exactly how to activate them, you’re not sure how reliable they are, but I would say it was probably pretty convincing that these items actually do stuff because you saw Endo teleporting around and doing a lot of things in combat that should be impossible.

CAMERON: Oh yeah, that’s definitely why Karma is looking into them now.

NICK: So, you realize some things. You are able to get some information, not necessarily specifics but definitely situations in which these would be useful.

The Stone Breaker, which is a tablet about the size of a sheet of paper that is apparently made out of stone but still has buttons that you can depress into them even though they don’t appear to do much, is some sort of key. It’s like a skeleton key. You can use it to get into just about anything. It doesn’t really explain how that works, but you would imagine it’s some sort of data breaker or something like that. This piece of equipment is referenced very frequently around locked doors and security and things like that.

The second artifact, the blue orb that looks like it has an ocean in it, the Spirit Breaker, seems kind of contradictory to you. You find two different references that say really different things. One of them says that it actually cuts people off from the Force. That’s interesting considering that these are Jedi artifacts that there would be an item that dampens the Force.

But it also potentially promotes vitality? You’re not sure what “promotes vitality” might mean. There are a couple of references of people with this artifact being able to get through situations and combats that they should not have survived. That doesn’t necessarily make sense but seems useful.

CAMERON: Alright. I think Karma has been taking notes in her data pad and feels like she’s both learned a lot and not really learned anything useful at the same time.

NICK: Hmm.

CAMERON: So, looks through a little while longer once she gets the bulk of the information and then realizes she’s pretty much gotten what she’s gonna get on these two particular items, and then picks up the romance novel that Xianna stole for her and goes and starts reading that.

NICK: Okay. Are you reading in the cockpit or are you still in the living area?

CAMERON: Still in the living area.

NICK: As you stand up to go and get the romance novel you fall prone. [dramatic bass noise] You trip over the carpeting. There’s something knotted in there. You don’t really want to think about it too hard, but it is embarrassing. The good news is no one sees. HK is off in one of the storage areas and you haven’t seen Tink or Xianna in quite a while.

We cut away to Xianna intrepidly exploring this blanket fort. Xianna, I’m picturing you wandering through a jungle of sheets and hanging blankets with a machete trying to explore your way through.

LILIT: Yes. Xianna has torn off a piece of a pillow case and has tied it around her head like a bandana. Creamsicle has a tiny matching one.

NICK: [laughs]

LILIT: Is riding around on the top of her head. She has found a voice recorder and is keeping a journal log.

LILIT (as Xianna): It is… I do not know what time it is anymore. I have no idea how many days it has been since I have gotten lost into this pillow fort. I fear I may never return, however I will keep going. Surely there must be an end to this. The Afternoon Delight is only so big, and maybe eventually Karma will notice we are missing and come for us.

[laughter]

NICK: Xianna, I think you find some sort of ravine with water flowing through it and jump across.

CAMERON: [laughs]

NICK: There’s weird animal calls coming from the distance. You come across Tink deep in this blanket wilderness. What is the scene that she sees, Hudson?

HUDSON: Tink is sharpening a stone into a point and trying to attach it—and has some string and a stick beside there—to make a handmade spear and doesn’t notice Xianna walk up.

LILIT (as Xianna): Oh my god. Tink!

HUDSON (as Tink): [startled] Ah! Oh… Oh, Xianna.

LILIT (as Xianna): Tink! I have found another person! It has been so long.

HUDSON (as Tink): I know. I know. This got… This really got out of hand.

LILIT (as Xianna): I crossed a ravine with a waterfall in it. How is that even possible? There is no ravine in our ship.

HUDSON (as Tink): You know… [stammers] with evolution and the, ugh, things just got… I let HK just do whatever he wanted to do.

LILIT (as Xianna): Do we have an holodeck? Is that a thing that we have in this universe?

HUDSON (as Tink): At this point, who would know?

NICK: The camera cuts away really fast to somewhere else out in the blanket wilderness. HK-67 is kneeling down by a track of mud and you can see boot prints through it. He puts his fingers in it and wipes the mud beneath both ocular sensors.

NICK (as HK): It is time to hunt the most dangerous game of all.

NICK: And we cut back.

LILIT (as Xianna): [sobbing] Tink, how do we get out of here?

HUDSON (as Tink): I don’t think there’s any getting out. I think we live here now.

LILIT (as Xianna): But again, how is this even possible?

HUDSON (as Tink): I just wanted a place where I could let my imagination run wild, and HK offered to help, and then I just took a snooze and when I woke up this was all here.

LILIT (as Xianna): This is too much, Tink. Okay? Even for you, this is too much. You need to dial it back.

HUDSON (as Tink): You don’t have to tell me that. I’m lost. I’m as lost as you are.

LILIT (as Xianna): [exhales] We have to find our way back. I don’t want to stay here.

HUDSON (as Tink): For some reason all com communications are disabled.

CAMERON: [laughs]

LILIT (as Xianna): The pillows are too thick for the signal to go through. I tried that earlier. It does not work. Also, I’m pretty sure I heard HK laughing in the distance and that scared me.

NICK: [smiling] We get a quick cutaway to Karma sitting in the living area flipping through a book. She goes “hmm” and you can hear from two rooms over the muffled conversation of Tink and Xianna, very clearly close. She looks up and shrugs and goes back to reading. [laughs]

CAMERON: Well yeah. I heard them. I know where they are now.

NICK: Yeah.

CAMERON: They’re fine.

NICK: The ship pops out of hyperspace. There’s that sudden jolt of inertia as you resume normal sublight drives.

LILIT: Out of a ceiling vent in the main living space next to Karma, the vent just pops open and Xianna just falls out, splatters all over on the ground and is rolling around.

LILIT (as Xianna): Oh! Oh my god. Oh! I am free! I am free of the blanket fort!

[laughter]

HUDSON: As the ship comes out of hyperdrive the blanket fort collapses all around him. He tries to get up but he struggles through the blankets and eventually he bites and chews his way through five layers of blanket and then rips open the hull to emerge like he’s being birthed. He just [roars] and just comes out of it.

LILIT: And comes slithering out of the vent.

HUDSON: Jus comes slithering out of it. Yes.

NICK: You get up and look around and peer into the rooms where the blanket fort had started and there’s just a pile of blankets on the floor. It’s very unassuming. This bit doesn’t make a lot of sense. From out of the vents you see HK’s head poke down and he’s got paint of mud in a camo pattern and he had a stone knife and he looks down and sees that everybody’s back in the living area.

NICK (as HK): Disappointed sigh. Aww.

NICK: And then crawls back away through the vent.

LILIT (as Xianna): Where is HK going?

HUDSON (as Tink): HK, get back here!

LILIT (as Xianna): How did we end up in the vents? We were in an open area.

CAMERON (as Karma): Why… Why were y’all in the vents?

LILIT (as Xianna): Karma! Karma…

CAMERON (as Karma): Yes?

LILIT (as Xianna): We were lost in the forest!

CAMERON (as Karma): What forest?

LILIT (as Xianna): The blanket fort got out of control. We do not know how it happened, but it got too big and we couldn’t find our way back.

CAMERON (as Karma): Um…

LILIT (as Xianna): I think HK was hunting people.

NICK: HK pokes his head out of the vent since Tink asked him to come back.

NICK (as HK): This is true. I was hunting the most dangerous game of all.

LILIT (as Xianna): You keep saying that, HK, and then you just laugh when I ask you what that game is!

NICK (as HK): Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

CAMERON (as Karma): How is it possible that y’all got lost in a blanket fort that you built on the ship?

LILIT (as Xianna): I don’t know. I passed a waterfall. I’m starting to think that maybe some drugs got in the water or something.

CAMERON (as Karma): Um… well, did y’all have fun on your adventure?

LILIT (as Xianna): Not at all.

HUDSON (as Tink): No… not really.

CAMERON (as Karma): Oh, well…

HUDSON (as Tink): I was very scared.

LILIT (as Xianna): I think HK had fun.

NICK (as HK): I had lots of fun. It would have been more fun if I had finished the hunt.

HUDSON (as Tink): What hunt, HK?

NICK (as HK): The hunt for the most dangerous game of all.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh, that one.

LILIT (as Xianna): Who else was in there? Was HK hunting us?

HUDSON (as Tink): I think there were others.

NICK (as HK): Nonchalant whistling.

LILIT (as Xianna): I’m still so confused how that happened.

CAMERON (as Karma): HK, you can’t just say nonchalant whistling.

NICK (as HK): Nonchalant whistling. [buzzing]

CAMERON (as Karma): [laughs] Thank you. Yes, that’s much better.

##

NICK: The running lights of the ship go back to full daytime brightness. We can see down the hallway from the main living area where you all are having the conversation and through the view screen of the cockpit to the planet of Mandalore, a golden orb with a couple of cities obvious on the surface but otherwise a rugged wilderness. What are you gonna do?

CAMERON: Karma closes her romance novel and stands up.

CAMERON (as Karma): Alright, so Tink.

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah?

CAMERON (as Karma): We came to Mandalore. Now where am I going?

HUDSON (as Tink): Hmm…

LILIT (as Xianna): Please don’t say back into the fort.

HUDSON (as Tink): We’re not going back into the fort. I’m never going into that part of the ship again.

CAMERON (as Karma): I meant on the planet.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh! Mandalore. So, if I got my geography right, the capital should be Keldabe.

HUDSON: I look really proud of myself for remembering that even though it’s been a while.

NICK (as HK): Query. Boss Man, didn’t you live on Mandalore for most of your childhood?

HUDSON (as Tink): … That is inconsequential! So, I think we should land there, and uh, let’s land on Bay 13.

CAMERON (as Karma): Well I think I’m gonna have to go to whichever bay they tell me to.

HUDSON (as Tink): Hmm…

CAMERON (as Karma): You got a particular section of the city? Like, should I go north, west side, like what…?

HUDSON (as Tink): Don’t go to the west side.

CAMERON (as Karma): Okay.

HUDSON (as Tink): Don’t go to the west side. Uh, go ahead and go to the east side.

CAMERON (as Karma): Alright.

NICK: Tink has a distant look in his eyes as he is suggesting these things as though staring into the depths of unknowable space.

CAMERON (as Karma): Tink, where on Mandalore did you grow up? Was it in the capital?

HUDSON (as Tink): I grew up right outside of Keldabe.

LILIT (as Xianna): And you are unsure if it was the capital or not?

HUDSON (as Tink): No. I was very confident it was the capital earlier. Yes, it was a… I grew up in a small town outside of Keldabe called Riveriska.

NICK (as HK): Boss Man, what is Riveriska known for? What is their main export? What is their economy based around? Are they mostly about commuting into the main city or do they have resident economic benefits?

LILIT (as Xianna): Do your parents still live there, Tink? Oh my gosh. Can we go meet your parents? They must be so fucking weird.

NICK: [cackles]

HUDSON: [laughs]

CAMERON (as Karma): Xianna, we shouldn’t assume.

LILIT (as Xianna): I mean, if they raised Tink! Look at him. Have you met him? He built a pillow fort that was somehow a portal into a real jungle.

CAMERON (as Karma): That does take talent.

LILIT (as Xianna): They must be so strange.

CAMERON (as Karma): I mean, so… Children don’t necessarily grow up to be at all like their parents, so…

LILIT (as Xianna): I mean, it definitely has a big influence.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah…

HUDSON (as Tink): I don’t know if they’re gonna want to see me or not, but we can stop by I guess.

LILIT (as Xianna): Are they still mad about the spaghetti?

HUDSON (as Tink): [sighs]

LILIT (as Xianna): How could they be that mad? It was just some soapy noodles.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah Tink, that seems like a ridiculous reason for your parents to not want to see you.

HUDSON (as Tink): I think that… [huffs] If you really want to visit my parents, we can.

NICK: Karma, you head to the cockpit and start landing procedures. As you head towards Keldabe you get a hail from an Imperial air traffic control. They give you several different bays to land in based on where your travel plans are. You have to log basic travel reasons and things like that, but that’s easy enough to lie about. They give you the options of 6, 12 and 13.

CAMERON: Headed to 13.

NICK: You head down to the surface. Keldabe has a lot of space traffic. It’s a large spaceport. The population itself is a lot more spaceborne than most planets, because in Star Wars normally there’s space travel people but most people planet-side don’t leave the planet. It’s expensive and it’s hard to get on a ship. But because these are Mandalorians and warriors and ambassadors and things like that, a lot of people travel off-planet, so this is a very large spaceport.

We see you land. You’re guided in by a droid with two glowing sticks to park and you actually walk out onto a concourse and into a spaceport that is inside and has luggage procedures and things like that. There is a group of beings standing around the receiving area holding white flimsy signs that have different names written on them in Aurebesh. You see one that says Rallltinkraatakat on it.

HUDSON (as Tink): Hey! That’s for me…?

LILIT (as Xianna): Tink, did you tell somebody we were on our way?

HUDSON (as Tink): No?

NICK: As Tink says that, this person whips around and makes eye contact with him. You see a bright red Nautolan with large black eyes wearing white clothing that’s pretty loose and has stripes that are both red and blue on them in a crisscrossing pattern and is wearing bracelets on each wrist that go up his forearms that are both red and blue. So you get a lot of red and a lot of blue and a lot of flowing clothes. He smiles at you broadly as he sees you and makes a motion for your group to come over.

CAMERON: Beep-beep.

NICK: [smiling] Yes, the ship is locked. There is security for the ship. The ship will be fine.

LILIT (as Xianna): Are you one of Tink’s parents? Is Tink adopted? Who are you? How do you know Tink.

NICK (as Nyx): [voice: smooth, jovial] You ask a lot of questions. I like that about you. No, I don’t know Tink. His name came to me as though in a dream, as though some force all around us that flows through us.

LILIT (as Xianna): [fed up] Ugh, kriff…

LILIT: Xianna throws her head back.

LILIT (as Xianna): Ugh. Oh my god. Are you like some Jedi or some shit?

NICK (as Nyx): Hey, don’t go calling people Jedi that—

LILIT (as Xianna): Force user. Whatever.

NICK (as Nyx): So you walk up in your fancy coat and your fancy boots and just immediately assume that somebody’s a Jedi? That’s, uh… that’s a lot.

LILIT (as Xianna): You said you had some sort of weird fucking Force dream about Tink and that is how his name came to you. Sorry for making a logical assumption.

NICK (as Nyx): Well, the good news is that I want to help, so let’s start over. Hi, my name is Nyx. It’s nice to meet you. I want to send you on your journey in the correct direction.

LILIT (as Xianna): Okay. Where are Tink’s parents?

NICK (as Nyx): The correct direction is probably not Tink’s parents. If you—

LILIT (as Xianna): Can we make a short pit stop first?

NICK (as Nyx): I’m not your parents. Do whatever you want. I was just wanting to make sure that you all knew where you were going. Seems like you’ve already got an itinerary. Tink, does she always speak for you or do you have any sort of personality or interesting things about you?

HUDSON (as Tink): Hey, I’m Tink! I do have personality, normally, but you are kinda confusing me with this whole saw me in a dream stuff. I know I’m dreamy, but…

NICK (as Nyx): Aw, that’s sweet.

CAMERON (as Karma): Tink, we came to Mandalore because the voices in your head told us to. I really don’t think we should be knocking the dream thing.

HUDSON (as Tink): Alright. Alright. So sure, maybe the dream thing is legitimate. So… why did this happen to me?

NICK (as Nyx): Okay… Okay, this has been fun but we’re getting really metaphysical here, so I’m just gonna say… We have a mutual acquaintance who called me and told me to expect that you would be coming.

LILIT (as Xianna): Who was the mutual acquaintance?!

NICK (as Nyx): Well…

CAMERON (as Karma): Do you really not have a guess? [laughs]

HUDSON (as Tink): Was it my parents?

LILIT (as Xianna): Was it Tink’s parents?!

NICK (as Nyx): [chuckling] Yes. Yep, you got it in one. That’s who it was.

LILIT (as Xianna): [deflated] Was it Sentinel?

NICK (as Nyx): Yeah. Sentinel is an old friend of mine.

LILIT (as Xianna): Oh my gosh. So, you have a weird Force dream and you tell Tink to “go to Mandalore” and then you are friends with Sentinel and you are mad at me for saying that you might be a Jedi?

NICK (as Nyx): Okay, so friends is strong. I said acquaintance. I stand by saying that guy’s kind of a jerk as well. I was mostly just fucking with you. I didn’t—weird dream thing… I got a com call. I got a com call that said to expect somebody to be heading this direction and to put this name on a sign and to help them to continue their journey and avoid the Empire, so that’s what I’m here to do.

LILIT (as Xianna): Tink, did Sentinel tell you to go to Mandalore?

HUDSON (as Tink): Nope.

LILIT (as Xianna): Who told Sentinel we were going to Mandalore? I haven’t talked to him in like weeks. We probably should, but I haven’t.

HUDSON (as Tink): Did I, like… Did anyone drunk dial him?

LILIT (as Xianna): I don’t think so. I don’t have his number saved in my coms.

CAMERON (as Karma): [withering] My guess is that Sentinel is the voice you heard in your head, Tink.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh, that’s nerve-racking.

LILIT: Xianna’s scrolling through her previously called history.

LILIT (as Xianna): Yeah, I don’t see his number. And again, it’s not even saved, I always have to ask Karma what it is.

NICK: Because Xianna doesn’t save people’s names in her phone, she saves other things as reminders of who they are, just give me a couple of examples of what your contacts look like.

LILIT: There’s definitely one that is just a string of emojis and it is green heart, peach, second green heart, and the little heart with a bow on it. That’s Nolaa.

NICK: Makes sense.

LILIT: There’s definitely one that’s just angry face and a stabby emoji. It’s probably Falx, but she’s not entirely sure, so occasionally she just sends a message that’s kind of prompting the other person. They haven’t responded yet, though. There’s a whole handful of ones where it’s just like that one dude from that bar, the chick from the grocery store.

NICK: [laughs] There is no contact with Sentinel on there. One might even say that the Force works in mysterious ways. But Nyx wouldn’t say that, Nyx looks thoroughly confused. This red Nautolan drops the sign on the floor and crosses his arms.

NICK (as Nyx): Okay. It sounds like you all already have a plan. I guess you don’t need any guidance or anything like that, so I’m gonna take off. I’ve got a hot date tonight.

LILIT (as Xianna): Okay cool.

HUDSON (as Tink): Who’s the date with? Can we help?

NICK (as Nyx): Well, it’s with my boyfriend. I think we’re probably far enough along that I don’t need any guidance on that, but I do appreciate it. I’m just gonna say, if whatever you’re looking for is probably out on the plains somewhere and you’re gonna need a speeder, I’m gonna let you get it from there. You don’t really seem to need my help. I’ve got more important things to do, so… if you don’t want to listen, I’ll take off. Go see your parents. Do whatever you want.

LILIT (as Xianna): Look. You can’t just do this whole “I am a mysterious Force user” thing and then get upset when people are like okay cool, you’re mysterious, whatever. If you’re not going to answer our questions or give us any information, like yeah, we’re going to go do something else. I don’t want to waste my time here.

NICK (as Nyx): I legitimately offered you the information and you changed the subject.

LILIT (as Xianna): That’s your fault.

NICK: [laughs]

HUDSON (as Tink): Alright Nyx… let’s nix this whole thing and start over.

CAMERON (as Karma): [disappointed exhale]

NICK (as Nyx): That is a solid pun.

NICK: He holds up his hand for a high-five.

HUDSON: I high-five back.

NICK: The clap is loud enough that people around in the spaceport look up kind of confusedly from what they were doing and then go back to what they’re doing. A stormtrooper standing over by a security checkpoint starts to put their hand to their helmet and talk on the radio while looking at you.

CAMERON: Karma leans down and picks up the Tink sign that Nyx dropped so that doesn’t get left here.

NICK: Good. Very good. Nyx looks over to the stormtrooper and you see him hold up three fingers on one hand and do kind of an idle waving gesture at the stormtrooper and shake his head. The stormtrooper about-faces and starts inspecting a wall.

LILIT (as Xianna): So, are you going to tell us why you are helping us or not?

NICK (as Nyx): Sure. You know, I thought it might be fun to get to know you a little bit. Sentinel usually sends me pretty interesting people. But sure, whatever you’re looking for, don’t know what it is, seems powerful, seems important. Like I said, it’s deep in the plains outside of the city. That whole area is a nature preserve so you’re probably gonna need to get a ride from somebody with the proper certifications. Look out for mythosaurs. Those are scary.

HUDSON (as Tink): Wait. Wait a second.

LILIT (as Xianna): Wait. I don’t think those are real.

NICK (as Nyx): Oh, they’re real.

HUDSON (as Tink): They’re real… You know what? Are you implying that we have to go on a safari?

NICK (as Nyx): You know… sure. Yeah.

HUDSON (as Tink): Take us on a safari!

NICK (as Nyx): I’m not taking you on a safari. I’m just telling you that you might need to go find one. There’s lots of—

HUDSON (as Tink): Please~

LILIT (as Xianna): Is this all the information you have? That we’re supposed to go on a safari? You don’t know what we’re chasing? You don’t know what we’re looking for? You don’t know where it is? Just that we have to go out into the wilderness?

NICK (as Nyx): You know, you’re right. I’m getting tired of being all mythical and stuff. Y’all know Kettle? Crime lord, real scary lady.

LILIT (as Xianna): Oh yeah!

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah.

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah.

NICK (as Nyx): Yeah, she’s out there.

LILIT (as Xianna): We are friends.

NICK (as Nyx): Eh…

LILIT (as Xianna): Kind of. Maybe.

NICK (as Nyx): Okay. So, uh… I was trying to be all mysterious and cool, let you discover things, but I’ll just tell you. Kettle has somehow made a base out there without being found by the government. It’s surrounded by a bunch of scary monsters. It’s a no fly zone. Only people with any sort of certifications or anything can even go out there. So yeah, you’ll probably need to hire some sort of transportation from somebody specialized. Those items that you’re looking for…

NICK: He waggles his brows at you all.

NICK (as Nyx): …Kettle has a couple of them. I bet they’re here. Sentinel said that’s where you would probably need to go next.

LILIT: Xianna whips around to Tink.

LILIT (as Xianna): Tink, what do your parents do?

HUDSON (as Tink): [exhales]

LILIT (as Xianna): What are their jobs? Please tell me they are specialized in something cool.

HUDSON (as Tink): [mildly irritated] Let’s wait and talk to them about it.

LILIT (as Xianna): You don’t—Do you not know what your parents do?

HUDSON (as Tink): [rushed, reprimanding] We’re talking about this right now. Stay on topic.

NICK: Nyx reaches a hand out and sets it on Tink’s forehead and closes his eyes.

NICK (as Nyx): I think one of them, something with… a teacher? I’m feeling like a teacher. And the other one is like a logistics agent? How close am I?

NICK: And puts his arms down.

HUDSON (as Tink): So one of them is a magician who deals with logistics.

CAMERON: [snickers]

LILIT (as Xianna): Oh gosh.

CAMERON (as Karma): A logistical magician?

LILIT (as Xianna): I have no idea if that is true or not.

HUDSON (as Tink): And the other one is a teacher of the art of magic. They’re both magicians.

NICK (as Nyx): Interesting.

CAMERON (as Karma): Huh.

NICK (as Nyx): Well, that sounds nice. Have fun meeting your parents. Here are the coordinates roughly of where Kettle’s base is.

NICK: Nyx pulls out a data pad and flicks the screen and y’all’s data pads beep as you get some information.

NICK (as Nyx): And good luck. Probably try to avoid any security checkpoints on your way to wherever you’re going because you look really… distinctive. Just gonna throw that out there.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah, you know, surprisingly that hasn’t come up before.

NICK (as Nyx): Huh!

NICK: Nyx does the thing where he snaps with all his fingers and hits his palm onto the top of his fist.

NICK (as Nyx): So, uh… I was pretty much as clear as I could possibly be. You know what I know. We’ve already attracted a little attention. If you don’t have any more questions, I’m gonna go. You all don’t really seem to need much of my help.

LILIT (as Xianna): I mean, what help are you giving us?

NICK (as Nyx): Well, I literally told you where to go, but you know what… kriff you.

NICK: [laughs] And he turns on his heel and starts to walk out of the spaceport.

LILIT (as Xianna): Fucking Jedis are the worst.

NICK: Without looking over his shoulder he holds up his arm and flips the bird back at you and says…

NICK (as Nyx): Not a Jedi.

NICK: …and then a group of stormtroopers all stare at him and he does a little hand gesture and they turn around and walk the other direction, and he walks out of the spaceport.

HUDSON: [chuckles]

LILIT (as Xianna): Yeah, I feel like that is a bad one to say.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yeah…

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah.

NICK: While y’all are talking, he walks through some sliding doors and there’s speeders going by and he just jumps into the street and as he’s landing he lands in the passenger seat of a speeder and goes flying off.

LILIT (as Xianna): Okay Tink, take us to your parents’ house. Let’s go.

NICK: [cackles]

HUDSON (as Tink): [sighs]

LILIT (as Xianna): I need to meet them.

HUDSON (as Tink): Do you have to?

LILIT (as Xianna): Yes.

NICK (as HK): Failure to introduce me to the Boss man’s parents will negate primary user status. It voids your warranty.

CAMERON (as Karma): Whoa.

HUDSON (as Tink): Whoa! Says who?!

LILIT (as Xianna): It’s HK.

NICK (as HK): This is what we call in the business “blackmail.”

HUDSON (as Tink): Wow.

LILIT (as Xianna): HK makes his own warranty.

HUDSON (as Tink): Why is… HK, you know, since the beginning of our journeys together I feel that HK has gone downhill on an ethical level.

CAMERON (as Karma): [laughing] Uh, no, I feel it’s pretty consistent.

LILIT (as Xianna): No, I feel like he was a murder bot from the very beginning.

NICK (as HK): I was curious where you were going with that, but trying to put it on an ethical standard is a very interesting tact. I actively crave murdering organics.

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah, but I was your… I was Boss Man.

NICK (as HK): You still are unless you don’t introduce me to your parents.

HUDSON (as Tink): [exasperated] Alright. We’re gonna just go pay them a surprise visit I guess.

##

NICK: So there’s a swipe and you are in a Star Wars suburb on the outskirts of Keldabe. Describe Tink’s parents’ house.

HUDSON: Tink’s parents’ house is kinda like a combination of a ranch that you’d find in the south US and Peewee’s Playhouse.

NICK: So it’s a one-story white stucco house with a slanted roof and a kinda brown deadish yard and a spiraling sidewalk leading up to the front door?

HUDSON: Yeah, weird as all hell.

NICK: Okay. What color is the house? I said white stucco—

HUDSON: Purple.

NICK: It’s purple stucco. Okay. Great. So, you head up to the door, a taxi speeder has let you out, and Tink, you knock on the door and it swings open, and both of Tink’s parents are standing there. What do they look like?

LILIT: A large Gigoran who has had the ends of her hair dyed bright pink opens the door and goes:

LILIT (as Rhonda): [voice: boisterous, southern] [gasps] Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit! Tink is home!

NICK: [laughs]

LILIT: And this pink and white Gigoran turns their head and yells out:

LILIT (as Rhonda): Mossie! Mossie, you gotta get out here. Tink came home!

LILIT: She steps outside the doorframe and gives Tink a gigantic hug.

HUDSON (as Tink): Mom…

NICK (as HK): Boss Man under threat. Preparing weapons. [gun charging sound]

LILIT (as Rhonda): Oh, you tell your droid friend to calm down before I smack him upside the head.

HUDSON (as Tink): HK, disarm.

LILIT (as Rhonda): You are not under attack just because I’m giving you a  hug.

HUDSON (as Tink): I’m an adult, mom. I’m too old for this.

LILIT (as Rhonda): Nobody’s too old for a hug.

CAMERON: Just this giant ball of white fur comes rushing out of the house and tackles the hugging pair. [laughs]

NICK: HK gently steps out of the way and pulls Xianna and Karma with him so they go tumbling down the sidewalk without hitting the rest of the crew.

NICK (as HK): Crisis averted. This attack is apparently non-damaging and is called a “hug.”

LILIT (as Xianna): Yes HK, it is called a hug. They happen all the time. Calm down. Also, I was not expecting Tink’s mom to be pink. That is a fun little addition.

NICK: [laughs]

HUDSON (as Tink): Uh… these are my, uh, friends on my—my adventuring friends on my important missions.

LILIT: Xianna is just standing there waving, smiling.

LILIT (as Xianna): Ello Tink’s parents! I am very happy to meet you.

CAMERON (as Mossie): [voice: sweet, gentle] Tink, why didn’t you tell us you were coming?

HUDSON (as Tink): Uh…

CAMERON (as Mossie): We don’t have snacks prepared at all.

HUDSON (as Tink): Uh… they insisted. We ended up on Mandalore, and… We don’t need snacks, it’s fine. We all ate earlier.

LILIT (as Rhonda): You mean you knew you were coming to Mandalore and you didn’t tell us?

NICK (as HK): Tink insisted that we not visit at all.

CAMERON (as Mossie): What?!

HUDSON (as Tink): No!

NICK: And HK gives a double thumbs up to Tink like he’s helping.

HUDSON (as Tink): That’s not the case at all. I simply thought it would inconvenience you.

CAMERON (as Mossie): How?

LILIT (as Rhonda): Inconvenience us?

NICK (as HK): Tink says that you are both great magicians. Please show us magic.

LILIT (as Rhonda): Oh, Tink is always exaggerating how good we are. Now, you watch this.

LILIT: She pulls out a pack of cards from amongst her fur and starts shuffling them with great skill.

NICK: HK gasps.

LILIT: And then holds it out in a fan.

LILIT (as Rhonda): Okay, now you pick a card. Don’t show me though. You keep it to yourself. You can show your friends but don’t show me the card.

NICK: HK reaches out suspiciously and pulls a card quickly up and holds it right in front of his face.

LILIT (as Rhonda): Okay, now you put it back into the deck wherever you want.

NICK: HK puts it on top of the deck.

LILIT (as Rhonda): [stammers] I mean, that’s…

CAMERON: [snickers]

LILIT (as Rhonda): That was an option, I guess.

NICK (as HK): That is where I wanted to put it.

LILIT (as Rhonda): And you did.

LILIT: She starts to shuffle the deck again, cutting it a few times, tosses it up into the air and catches it, shuffles it behind her back, and then hands the deck to Karma.

LILIT (as Rhonda): Okay sweetie, now you hold the deck.

CAMERON (as Karma): Alright…

LILIT (as Rhonda): Did you see the card?

CAMERON (as Karma): Yes.

LILIT (as Rhonda): Okay. Now you and—I’m sorry. I did not catch your name, droid. What was it?

NICK (as HK): I am HK-67.

LILIT (as Rhonda): Okay. Now HK-67, you gotta think real hard about what that card was, okay?

NICK (as HK): I did not look at the card.

CAMERON: [laughs]

LILIT (as Rhonda): Okay. Well, then you.

LILIT: [laughs] She looks at Karma.

LILIT (as Rhonda): Well, then you, sweetie, you think real hard about what card it was. Okay?

CAMERON (as Karma): Alright? Yep.

LILIT (as Rhonda): Now, I’m gonna need you to look at the bottom of your shoe.

CAMERON: Karma puts a hand on HK’s shoulder and leans over slightly to pull her foot up to look at the bottom of her shoe.

LILIT: There is no card there.

LILIT (as Rhonda): I’m just joshing with you, sweetie. Your card is not under your shoe. You are gonna wanna check your pocket, though.

CAMERON (as Karma): Which one?

LILIT (as Rhonda): Any of them.

CAMERON: [laughing] Karma, while still holding the deck of cards in one hand, starts just sticking her hand in other pockets.

LILIT: Whichever pocket Karma puts her hand in first is where the card is.

CAMERON: Alright, it’s like right front pant pocket.

LILIT (as Rhonda): Now, is that the card? Please say yes. I  hope it was.

CAMERON (as Karma): I don’t know, HK, is this your card?

NICK (as HK): I did not look at the card.

CAMERON (as Karma): Yes, it’s his card. [chuckles]

LILIT (as Rhonda): Okay, well we’re just gonna say it is because, you know, I guess he didn’t look, but uh… there you go.

NICK (as HK): This is amazing, and I’ve known people who can do literal space magic. I am impressed.

LILIT: Xianna is bouncing up and down next to Tink.

LILIT (as Xianna): Oh my gosh. Tink. Tink, your parents are magicians. Why did you not tell me this, that it was true?

HUDSON (as Tink): Ugh… I didn’t think you’d be this excited?

LILIT (as Xianna): They are so weird. It is great!

HUDSON (as Tink): Ugh.

LILIT (as Rhonda): Now, are we gonna stand out here all day or are you gonna come inside?

HUDSON (as Tink): Let’s go in.

CAMERON (as Mossie): Why do you sound so sad about that, Tink?

HUDSON (as Tink): [huffs] I just…

CAMERON (as Mossie): First you didn’t want to come see us and now you don’t want to bring your friends to… What?

LILIT (as Rhonda): Are you embarrassed of us?

HUDSON (as Tink): No… I mean, uh…

CAMERON (as Mossie): Are you embarrassed of your friends?

HUDSON (as Tink): That’s a good question.

CAMERON: [laughs]

NICK (as HK): Consider your answer very carefully, Boss Man.

HUDSON (as Tink): No, I’m not embarrassed of my friends. Let’s go in. Let’s just go in. Just, a lot of memories coming through these doors.

LILIT (as Rhonda): You say that like you had a bad childhood, Tink. What are you going on about?

CAMERON (as Mossie): It does sound very traumatic.

NICK: And so we see the crew of the Afternoon Delight herded inside by two lovely Gigoran parents. Next thing we see is everybody seated at large couches around a large wooden coffee table. There are snacks. There are weird polygons that are brightly colored and don’t really make sense as food, but they are delicious. You all are chatting and having a great time.

CAMERON (as Mossie): Alright, so Tink, introduce us to your friends.

HUDSON (as Tink): That… Alright, I will. So, we have Karma. Karma is a friend, and they are a pilot… and a fighter, and we go on adventures, and they shoot people. That is Xianna. Xianna—

LILIT: Xianna is still bouncing up and down, just smiling so big.

LILIT (as Xianna): Hello~!

HUDSON (as Tink): Xianna is vulgar but has a good heart and also is a fighter who goes on adventures with me.

CAMERON (as Mossie): I like her.

HUDSON (as Tink): [stammers] Yeah, I thought you would. And then we have HK, and HK is a droid who doesn’t have a heart but is good on adventures.

NICK (as HK): Technically my processor core is a piece of ancient technology that Tink jury-rigged to repair my chassis.

CAMERON (as Mossie): Oh, Tink always was good at computers.

LILIT (as Rhonda): He’s so good at it.

NICK (as HK): He is wanted on several galactic watch lists for hacking things he should not have.

LILIT (as Rhonda): Ugh, my little boy grew up so fast.

HUDSON (as Tink): Now, before we go any further, I guess I’ll just talk about why I’m a little uncomfortable. I always was under the impression ever since that I was just a screw-up to you all and you all weren’t proud of me, and I just have been carrying that for a long time now.

CAMERON (as Mossie): No~!

LILIT (as Rhonda): What in the tap dancing nerf? Why would you think that we were upset with you in any way?

HUDSON (as Tink): The spaghetti incident.

CAMERON (as Mossie): The what?

LILIT (as Rhonda): Mossie, do you…? The spaghetti? Was that—? What are you talking about?

CAMERON (as Mossie): Tink, you always loved spaghetti.

LILIT (as Rhonda): You love it when Mossie makes spaghetti!

HUDSON (as Tink): No-no-no. Remember that one time when—

LILIT (as Rhonda): Yeah, she always puts in that extra sauce that you like. Mossie, tell him. You always make that extra sauce.

CAMERON (as Mossie): I always do it specifically because you like it so much.

HUDSON (as Tink): I’m not talking about that—

CAMERON (as Mossie): Now I hear you don’t want to come and see me because of my spaghetti.

HUDSON (as Tink): No, it’s not because of the spaghetti. There was this—

LILIT (as Rhonda): Do you not love her spaghetti?

HUDSON (as Tink): No, I love the spaghetti. There was this one time that y’all were cooking your spaghetti, and…

HUDSON: Tink is starting to develop an accent {from you two}.

[laughter]

HUDSON (as Tink): Cookin’ y’all’s spaghetti, and you left it on the side of the sink, and the faucet was over there, and I washed my hands on the spaghetti side, and you were so upset.

LILIT (as Rhonda): Oh, the soapy spaghetti? Tink, that… you were a kid.

NICK (as HK): That was my nickname in high school.

HUDSON (as Tink): No it— [exhales]

HUDSON: [chuckles]

LILIT (as Rhonda): I don’t think droids go to high school.

HUDSON (as Tink): They don’t.

CAMERON (as Karma): HK, you did not go to high school.

NICK: [grinning] HK hangs his head.

LILIT (as Rhonda): Tink, you got some soap on the noodles and we just made more noodles.

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh…

CAMERON (as Mossie): Tink, that happened when you were like 11.

LILIT (as Rhonda): It’s been like over a decade. You thought we were still mad about that after ten years? We were mad about some soapy pasta?

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah, I was, but it sounds like y’all are okay now?

CAMERON (as Mossie): Honey, we’ve been okay. I didn’t know that this was an issue that you thought we had.

LILIT (as Rhonda): I had no idea. I thought you were just being weird because of all the teenager hormones and everything.

CAMERON (as Mossie): Yeah, and then you left for school and I figured you just were having too much fun to come hang out with your moms, and you know, that’s fine. We understand. We went to school and had the whole not talk to your parents thing for a while. But spaghetti? Really?

HUDSON (as Tink): Listen. I’m relieved that you all are no longer mad at me about the spaghetti incident. I will say—

CAMERON (as Mossie): We never were~

HUDSON (as Tink): I will say, it made me who I am as a person. I used the angst from that incident to start my hacking career.

HUDSON: [laughs]

CAMERON (as Mossie): Well… good?

LILIT (as Rhonda): Well, I’m flabbergasted.

HUDSON (as Tink): Well I love y’all, so do you wanna bring it in?!

CAMERON (as Mossie): yeah~

CAMERON: Hug again. Yay.

HUDSON: Yay.

NICK: HK joins the group hug.

LILIT (as Rhonda): Oh? Well okay, you can join too, friend.

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah HK, you’re welcome to join. You’re a little tight… a little tight. [stammers, assertive] A little tight.

CAMERON: [chuckles]

NICK (as HK): No, you cannot be hurt by a hug. It is not an attack. [buzzing]

LILIT (as Rhonda): Well, okay, slow down there, hot stuff. It does kinda sound like you’re firing up your gun and we have a no shooting in the house rule.

NICK (as HK): That is fine. I also have a knife.

CAMERON (as Mossie): You know, we also have no stabbings in the house.

HUDSON (as Tink): Haven’t you read all the embroideries on the wall? They’re listed there.

NICK: [laughs] There’s the little needlepoint that says “no shooting in the house” and shows an HK model droid with a mini gun and then there’s another one that says “no stabbing in the house” and it has a Nautolan carrying two different vibro-swords of different lengths.

LILIT: Xianna has gone to the bathroom and she pokes her head out.

LILIT (as Xianna): Oh, excuse me? There is a needlepoint in here that says no doing drugs in the bathroom. Where should I do the drugs?

CAMERON (as Mossie): You know, we just ask that you do them outside of the house.

LILIT (as Xianna): Oh okay, so like back on the front porch or something? Okay. Thank you.

CAMERON (as Mossie): Yeah. Just let us know if you need any snacks or anything.

LILIT (as Rhonda): Well Tink, I’m just… I wish you would have told us, because you know, we could have made a cake, fired up the grill, gotten some nerf ribs or something.

HUDSON (as Tink): Well, we are gonna be here for a bit. Maybe we can come back for all that.

LILIT (as Rhonda): I hope you do. It’s been… It’s been a few years since you came home, and you know, I don’t want to say that we missed you, I don’t wanna get all sappy now, but—

CAMERON (as Mossie): I will say it. We missed you!

LILIT (as Rhonda): We missed you.

HUDSON (as Tink): Aw, I missed y’all too.

CAMERON (as Mossie): Then why didn’t you come see us?

LILIT (as Rhonda): You didn’t come home for Life Day.

HUDSON (as Tink): Mamas, I had the spaghetti angst.

[laughter]

LILIT (as Rhonda): You’re saying the spaghetti angst but I just don’t get it.

CAMERON (as Mossie): You know Tink, I am happy that you have used this spaghetti angst that you have in a positive manner to help you reach your goals for hacking, but there’s really no… there’s really no need.

HUDSON (as Tink): Alright. Well, y’all convinced me. Uh, just to keep you kinda clued in on our schedule, we’re going on a safari!

CAMERON (as Mossie): Ooh, really?

LILIT (as Rhonda): Oh, well doesn’t that sound fun.

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah! Hey team, should they come with us?

CAMERON: [chuckles]

NICK (as HK): How prepared are your parents for combat and to take the lives of other organics? Because that seems likely.

CAMERON (as Mossie): Well, I mean, it’s been a while.

LILIT (as Rhonda): I mean… what kind of game are we hunting?

NICK (as HK): The most dangerous game of all.

LILIT (as Rhonda): Oh, well hot diggity dog.

CAMERON: I feel like there are definitely, like… there’s a fireplace and above it are the two crossed Gigoran axes.

LILIT: Oh yeah, this house is just full of doilies and crochet and needlepoints and cross-stitches…

CAMERON: And sharp pointy objects.

LILIT: …and weapons and a few mounted animal heads.

HUDSON (as Tink): Now, I will say, my parents have a very good disappearing act.

LILIT (as Rhonda): Oh! Oh!

CAMERON (as Mossie): Is this a hint?

LILIT (as Rhonda): Honey, do you want to bring out the box? Do you wanna do the disappearing trick?

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah!

CAMERON (as Mossie): Alright. Tink, will you be our assistant?

HUDSON (as Tink): Yeah!

CAMERON (as Mossie): Okay. I will go get the box.

LILIT: Xianna’s clapping her hands at this point.

LILIT (as Xianna): Oh my goodness! Oh, they are going to do a magic trick again! Tink, your parents are so fucking cool! Why did you not take us here earlier?!

NICK: So your parents leave the room and they come back with a Gigoran-sized—It looks like a coffin on a rolling cart with slots carved in it and it’s painted bright colors and the lid lifts easily.

HUDSON (as Tink): Alright. I am gonna go over and open the magic box~

NICK: The inside is dark and mysterious.

HUDSON (as Tink): Alright, now disappear, you two.

CAMERON: Mossie holds out a hand to assist Rhonda in climbing up into the box.

LILIT: Rhonda waves goodbye as she gets in the box and closes the door. There’s a puff of smoke and the door gently opens back up and she’s gone.

CAMERON (as Mossie): Ooh~

NICK: HK begins clapping very loudly. Clank, clank, clank, clank, clank.

LILIT (as Xianna): [gasps, claps quickly] She disappeared! Tink! Tink, why did you never tell us this?! Your moms are so cool!

HUDSON (as Tink): Just enjoy the moment, Xianna.

LILIT (as Xianna): [strained] I am!

CAMERON: Mossie does a spin and then steps up into the box and pulls it closed.

NICK: The box spins on its own. There’s another poof of smoke and the door swings open, and it’s empty!

HUDSON (as Tink): Ooh~

CAMERON: Ta-da.

NICK: [chuckles]

LILIT: Rhonda pokes her head from the front entryway like down the stairs just a little bit and whispers.

LILIT (as Rhonda): Okay Tink, well uh, you tell us when you want us to come back and we’ll hang out with your friends. We don’t want to interrupt too much. Just give us a call. Okay? Love you, sweetie. Bye. I don’t wanna bother  you too much. Just like, we love you and you haven’t been home in a while, so…

HUDSON (as Tink): Oh— [stammers, interrupted] Okay. Okay bye~

LILIT (as Rhonda): Send us a com message with your plans.

HUDSON (as Tink): Will do~

NICK: [smiling] So do y’all leave or do you still hang out at Tink’s parents’ house?

CAMERON: We’re still eating snacks!

[laughter]

NICK: And that’s gonna be the end of the episode.

ALL: Ba-naaa~!

## Outro

CAMERON: Thanks for listening to Tabletop Squadron. If you enjoyed our show, please consider leaving a review on your podcast listening app of choice. Reviews will help new listeners find the show, and every time we get one Nick lets the squad have a blue die.

If you’re so inclined, you can also help support the show through our Patreon which can be found in the show notes, on our website, and basically anywhere else we post things. We have all sorts of Patreon levels including Tarkin’s Underwear Drawer, a level that includes bonus channels on our Discord and tons of bonus episodes that include side character arcs, flashbacks, bloopers and TV show reviews.

Xianna’fan is played by Lilit Penrod. They can be found on Twitter at @cheerio_buffet.

Tink is played by Hudson Jameson. He can be found on Twitter at @hudsonjameson.

Karma Nailo is played by me, Cameron Robertson. You can find me on Twitter at @midnightmusic13.

Our game master is Nick Robertson, and you can find him on Twitter at @alias58.

Our intro song is Space Jam by Pablo Ribot.

Additional music by James Gunter.

Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram at @Tabletop_Squad and join our Discord and share all your cute pet photos with us. We also sometimes talk about Star Wars. You can find a link to join our Discord on our website and in our pinned tweet. See you next time.